Going to a rehab center is a little like going to a resort for a week, except instead of fun activities, it involves a lot of hard work. Also, by the time you figure out all the ins and outs of the place, it’s time to go home. This is what happened to me, so I am writing in hopes that my experience helps you.

Recently, I learned a lot about rehab centers– just in time for my mother’s upcoming release from one. Maybe some of my realizations are obvious to you, but they weren’t to me.
1. Rehab Centers Are Not Prisons.
Yesterday, my mom wanted some fresh air, so I helped her put on her coat, got her in a wheelchair, and we sat by the front door. It sounds silly, but every time the door opened, she got a gust of wind and took a deep breath. The guard eyed us strangely and asked if I had a pass to take her out. “Take her out?” The thought never even crossed my mind. No one told me that I could actually take my mother outside. I guess I had a “hospital” mentality- once you’re in, you’re in for the duration. So if you find yourself or a loved one in a rehab center one day– you CAN go out for a walk or a stroll in a wheelchair around the neighborhood.
2. Dogs Can Visit Too.
Our other big adventure this week was when we heard a commotion in the room next door. Commotions are not a common occurrence in a rehab center. When I went to check it out, I discovered a small dog was visiting a patient. There were smiles and giggles everywhere, as this little puppy spread some well – needed cheer. Again, another surprise. No one goes out of his/ her way to tell you about these things, but most rehab centers and nursing homes allow pets to visit, if you bring a current list of the pet’s vaccinations ahead of time. The activities director actually handled the paperwork, and soon my daughter’s dog, Sparky, will come spread a little cheer of his own to my mother.
3. Ask And You Might Receive.
Another hint we found had to do with meals. My mom has always been a fussy eater, as many seniors tend to be. In the facility she is in, a menu came to her room for her to circle what she wants for the following week’s meals. Since she is never hungry, she randomly circled a few items, but most did not appeal to her. This week I spoke to another patient, who said that she has her favorite raisin bran cereal every morning. I replied that it is not always on the menu. Now for the hint– she writes across the breakfast choices in big letters–WANT RAISIN BRAN EVERY MORNING- and she gets it. She also adds a line on the bottom-WANT ICE CREAM EVERY NIGHT. I guess the old adage “Ask and you shall receive” applies here. I wrongly assumed that if it wasn’t on the day’s menu you couldn’t get it. Now I am not saying that if you feel like having a steak, you will get it, but if there is something standard that has been on the menu before, you most likely can get it again. My mom is now enjoying her favorite cereal in the morning and ice cream every night.
4. BYOS or Bring Your Own Salt
Yet another tip for meals is obviously bringing in your own favorite food dishes from home or a restaurant. Rehab center meals tend to be bland, as they don’t usually use salt. Get the patient’s doctor’s permission, and bring in a small salt shaker of a salt substitute. It will make a world of difference.
5. Get Out Of Your Room.
The final thing I want to stress is how important it is to make a concerted effort to pass the time, in order to make a difficult situation bearable. My mom tends to get very down and depressed. She has hated being confined in the rehab center and has made it a point of telling this to everyone she comes in contact with. There are activities to participate in and other people to reach out to and talk with. The patient needs to make an effort to fill the days with some sense of purpose, whether it is reading, crossword puzzles or phone calls to friends. It is only in the last week that my mom has decided to attend a Bingo game and to wheel herself over to a neighbor’s room for a chat. It is on those days that she seemed to have a “good day.”
A Final Note- Ask Questions and Take Notes
My mom was taking 11 pills a day and had no idea what she was taking and why. Since I could not always be there when a doctor came by, I gave my mom a notebook and a pen and encouraged her to ask questions and take notes. Many seniors are complacent and don’t want to rock the boat, by being too “annoying” and asking too many questions. Keeping a notebook prevented her from asking the same questions over again and made things clearer for me when I came to visit.
Well those are the hints that I have learned about rehab centers- the hard way. I hope that you never need to use these tips, but if you do, remember to ask questions and talk to others in the same boat. It makes a world of difference.
written by Janet Miserandino © 2005