Sick Humor: You know you have Lupus or (an Invisible Disease) when…(Part 2)

 

(This funny list was written by the members of our message boards It made me laugh, and I wanted to share it with all of you)


Your mother-in-law calls to ask you to tape her soaps and you agree. Your husband then tells you, “We don’t have a VCR”, then you say, “Yes we do, in the bedroom beside the DVD player.” After he asks you if you need to sit down, you march him back to the bedroom to show him, in fact, that…Oh, we don’t have a VCR.
You put laundry in the machine and forget about it. You later wonder why you’re missing a load of clothes, and only find it when you go to put the next load in 4 days later.
Then repeat with the tumble dryer!
You wash a whole “load” of laundry and when the washer is finished, you realize you never put the clothes in.
It takes you five attempts to load the machine and REMEMBER TO TURN IT ON.
You can’t remember the last time you took a shower cause you’re in a flare and have no spoons!
(I’d finally figure it was time when my cat started looking at me funny!!)
You open the oven door to find you last used it over a week ago – and you’ve left the food in there.
It was not pleasant.
You burp and say “Thank you” when you meant, “Pardon me”, and no one looks at you funny – they’re used to it.
You choose what you are going to eat… based on what will taste the least disgusting when thrown up.
You leave the house after only putting deodorant under one arm, thinking you did the other one too, and you don’t realize it until you start wondering why one side of your shirt is wet and the other isn’t.
You only shave one leg -because you can’t do all that work twice, but by the time you can, you’ve forgotten all about shaving in the first place.
You’re family says, “You walk like Grandpa!” And you’re only 18!
You sit down with all your schoolbooks to study, forget what you were doing and go feed your pets… for the third time!
You sign a form using your maiden name after having another last name for 35 years….
You fall, whack your head, and then dust yourself off and continue with whatever you were doing…IF you can remember it.
You sign your name in your second language (Russian, in my case) on a Canadian form.
You totally forget the name of a website you visit as it loads – its name?
BUTYOUDONTLOOKSICK.COM!
You consider taking another Indian name – Falls With A Splat.
Your walker doubles as a…
-waiter’s trolley -backpack
-portable seat -desk
You finally gather the strength to shower for your doctor’s appointment and then your husband catches you walking out the door in pajamas and a towel on your head and you don’t even realize you never got dressed.
You are having a phone conversation with your best friend, you put the phone down and then forget you were talking to someone. You don’t realize she’s still on the phone until her IM pops up!
You are playing “Duck, Duck, Goose” with a class full of children; you’re It, and you start tapping the kids saying, “Uno.” Wait, that’s not right. (Meanwhile, the kids are all, “What???”) Umm, “One?”…. No. Crap, that’s not right either. What’s the word?!?!?!?
Oh yeah…. “DUCK!”
You….
…. Sorry, what was I saying?
Butyoudontlooksick.com, ©

©2024butyoudontlooksick.com

  • You know you have an invisible disease when…
    Your husband changes his major to Nursing in order to “keep up” with your health “issues” and to better take care of you. 😉

  • Mona Casselman

    When you and your (also disabled) husband have an agreement that you can’t both have bad days at the same time.

    When you and your husband figure that, between the two of you, you might have one good brain.

    When you compare side effects with your support group.

    When your pastor sees you at the store with husband and 91 yr old mom-in-law and she says,”Another outing for the group home?” with a giggle. By the way, we have referred to ourselves as a group home for years…

    Thank you for all that have shared!! You have made me laugh, and I needed it!

  • Nicolette D

    Oh, sure, to all you who can take those fancy wonderful drugs- whah!….You lay in bed and count forks (toleratble pain) and knives (kill-me-now pain) before deciding if you would rather waste your spoons staring at the rust-stained toilet for hours wishing you could spend a spoon to crawl back into bed all because you took one of the dozens of pills the doctor has given you ‘just in case one works’

  • THERESA

    OMG I needed this have had such a bad day I laughed so hard I cried. Thanks for sharing!!!!

  • Nicole Danielle

    Oh! I have one: A friend of mine is a nurse, and I was over one day while she was still in school studying. I took out one of her medication guides and flipped to the NSAID section and started (mentally and verbally) checking off all of the medication I was on/had been on. Had I used a red pen, the book would have looked like I bled all over it! We had a good laugh about it.

  • Leina

    Every word of these is so true. Living with an invisable disease can be frustrating to a 20-something when everyone tells you to eat better and take vitamins. When my 62 year old mother is in better health then I am and my 85 year old grandpa who has had a quadruple by-pass and 3 knee surguries is more active and better functioning, it’s enough to really piss a person off, LOL! All these articles and everything else made me smile. Thanks for the site 🙂 Nice to know that I am not the only one 🙂

  • Jo Myers

    My illness itself doesn’t usually give me memory or forgetfulness problems – but when I am on high doses of that lovely Prednisone – watch out! Most of the time the mistakes are somewhat humorous. I just hope I never do anything dangerous! Last time I was on prednisone – I went to put my coffee cup in the dishwasher and put the remote for the tv in instead – spent the rest of the day looking for that damn remote – found it when I went to turn on the dw before bedtime…
    Most of the time I have issues with phone numbers and passwords while on meds. I call my husband at work at least once a day – (and its an easy number) – but I rack my brain to remember it on bad days. His coworkers are used to me calling their desks instead…

  • Marcia

    I just happened upon this website. i can relate to almost every comment. Thanks for making me laugh (although it hurts). You made my evening alot brighter. And to all you wonderful people
    Keep Your Chin Up even if it hurts!! 🙂

  • Bill

    You read the entire list above and all the replies and find yourself insanely jealous of the authors.
    you start your day not just counting your spoons but assessing how many forks (pain) you’ll have to cope with while spending your spoons… too many forks and won’t matter if you’ve got the spoon to spend.. you can’t do it..
    you get to the store and find yourself trying to race an 80 year old for the last scooter.. and losing, no shopping for you unless another scooter comes back quick.. and spoon spent for shopping gone.. make that two if you have to wait for a scooter.

  • consuelo

    you define your life as: good days, bad days and percocet days…

    the highlight of your week is when the good days out number the percocet days…

    the bad days being when the percocet does not even come close to putting a dent in the pain…

    then there are the days that just break your heart…your 6 year old grandchild looks at you with such compassion and asks…”Nana do you need your pills?”…

  • shortcut

    You know all the names of the receptionists at the doctors
    You know all about your docs family, favourite sitcom…..
    You view a stacking crate left in a supermarket aisle as a gift from God.

  • Eryn

    you get double takes/looks of pity and constantly hear “but she’s so young!” because you’re the only 22 year old patient in the cardiovascular unit… the rest of the patients are so old they could be your grandparents.

  • Lynne Bruner

    you cannot open the tampon wrapper so you have to “pop” it after squeezing all the air in the packaging to one end!

  • Tracy

    You know you have an invisible disease when…
    You an your grandpa bet on who can take their pills the fastest. He wins…by five minutes. You’re only halfway through your bottles when he leaves of boredom.

  • Tracy

    You know you have an invisible disease when….you roll your eyes when someone says “I wish I felt the way I did when I was 20.” You retort: “I wish I felt the way I did when I was three.”

  • Michelle Zuppke

    haha my husbands first question to me every day is about how many spoons i have. this article and responses are great, and totally about my life!!

  • seren

    Your fiance’s first daily question is “How many spoons do you have?”

  • Kim Gittens

    You are taking a water excercise class. All the other participants are over the age of 65 and you can’t keep up with them. You are only 30! Then the nice little old man says, “wow you are so young” Thanks OLD MAN! I haven’t heard that enough!

  • Kat

    You take the same (and sometimes more) medication as your 80-year-old grandpa when you are 18.
    or in mine and other heart diseasers case-you compare vitals with your 80-year-old grandpa and have contests on who can go highest/lowest and still function

  • Caroline Witte

    Just a note to Julia Mahar: A lot of us have conditions that make us seem as though we DO have Alzheimers. Just another fun day with FM/CFS/Lupus, etc.

  • Kati

    I definitely know what you mean by choosing your food based on what will taste the least disgusting when you throw it up. I went through a long phase where I couldn’t eat salad because if I throw it up the lettuce leaves get stuck in my throat, not pleasent!

  • this is more like “you know you have alzheimers if…”
    almost all are about forgetting things all the time.

  • Julia Mahar

    Your doctor notices when you change your outgoing message on your answering machine.