Sick Humor: “It’s Always Darkest Before The Dawn”…..And Other Useless Crap.

 

Albert Einstein was quoted as saying “Two things are infinite; the universe and human stupidity…and I’m not sure about the universe.”  Well, Mr. Einstein, while I think your hairstylist apparently went to the Cosmo Kramer School of Coif Design, you may have hit the nail on the proverbial head.  I am continually amazed at some of the laughable things that people say.  I know Spoonies aren’t the most tolerant people on the planet when we are flaring…I fully admit to fighting the urge to stab someone with a spork when they smile, nod their head, and say “It’s always darkest before the dawn.”  I know in my heart they mean well…I mean let’s get real; it’s not always easy to find the “right” thing to say to someone who has their face stuck in a casserole dish because they couldn’t make it to the bathroom in time to be sick from their latest dose of chemo. However, throwing an overused and simplistic inspirational cliché at us isn’t the way to commiserate.

I know what you’re saying… “Well Steph, we’re just trying to help.”  Yes, I know this….and while we may love you for your effort and willingness to stick your head into the lion’s den; we’ve heard them all before.  There’s just so many times that we can smile sweetly and act like we have heard something amazing and earth shattering that will change the course of our destiny.  The support and love of our friends is vital…make no mistake about that.  However, instead of spouting off fortune cookie nuggets of wisdom, just simply say “I’m sorry…I wish it didn’t hurt.”  Yes.  Believe it or not, it’s really that simple.  That’s all we want….an understanding that it hurts, there’s nothing that can stop it, but that you love us anyway…even when our heads spin around and fire shoots out of our eye sockets. 

Not long ago, I became so amused at the phrases that were being repeated to me that I started writing them down and putting a tally mark next to them every time each one was said.  I have come to the conclusion that there are just certain phrases that need to be banned from the English language forever, or at least come with the hefty penance of being forced to watch repeats of Jersey Shore over and over until you are bleeding from your eyeballs.  Now I know you are reading this saying to yourself… “Steph, where can we find such a list?” No need to wait and wonder…I have compiled a list of the greatest offenders from slightly annoying to the most absurd, along with a response that I like to call “what I would have said if I wasn’t such a proper southern debutante princess belle”. I implore you to never use them in the presence of someone suffering with an autoimmune disease. Pay attention…there will be a test later. 

*DISCLAIMER* (The following list is meant to be taken as tongue-in-cheek.  It is in no way a script to be negative or an otherwise snarktastic Spoonie…..mostly. ) 

7.   Good thing come to those who wait…technology will catch up.

Really? I waited three years for the sequel to Speed and what I got was a movie so bad that Keanu Reeves couldn’t even be bothered to show up. If I sat around and waited for things to get better, I would never leave the house and end up on an episode of “Hoarders”.  When and if technology DOES catch up, I will be ready and waiting…but until then I’m running this wagon until the wheels fall off.

 6.   Every rose has its thorn so look to the bright side.

First of all, unless you are Bret Michaels in the Poison days singing with a guitar and a smile, you aren’t allowed to say this phrase to me.  Period.  End of story.  Second of all, everyone has their own personal thorns, but mine come in the form of muscle failure, a failing liver and random rashes that cause so much scarring, much of my body looks like a topography map . My bright side is not as illuminated as yours so it will take me longer to see it.  Please just bear with me and hand me a flashlight. 

 5.   You take the good with the bad.

Yeah yeah yeah….you take them both and there you have…the facts of life.  Here’s a fact of life….Spoonies have a lot of bad.  A LOT of bad.  Because we have so much bad, we appreciate the good more than you could possibly imagine.  We are so stinkin’ happy when we get good that we want to put a picture frame around it and hang it above the mantle.  By the way, speaking of Facts of Life, who here doesn’t think that Jo should have hauled off and smacked the bleach out of Blair’s hair at least once during the series.  Girlfriend had it comin’.

 4.   Don’t feel sorry for yourself.  When life hands you lemons, make lemonade.

Nine times out of ten, I’m wearing my Super Spoonie cape in front of you.  But here’s a little secret I’m going let you in on…I’m going to have ‘poor me’ days. The only difference is that I don’t let you see them.  I don’t let anyone see them.  I’m tired of making lemonade, I’ve made lemonade for 10 years and after a while, no matter how much sugar you put in it…it’s still just bitter lemons.  I want something else. I’ve decided that life is just a bad guest bringing the wrong fruit to the party.  Why can’t life hand me grapes?  At least I could ferment them and make wine. 

 3.   What does not kill us makes us stronger

Good point.  There must be a reason that I’m still alive and kicking although Lupus is a strange bird like that…we never know how much time we have left.  I may die tomorrow, but then again I could outlive most of my friends.  With autoimmune disorders, every day is a roll of the dice. But if Lupus not killing me makes me stronger, I will say that every time it tries to take me out, I genetically mutate and come back with more badassery than the robot from The Terminator.  I may be so strong someday that I will seriously considering throwing my name in the ring for the next UFC smack down. 

 2.   You can beat this disease…you just have to want it bad enough.

For real?  All I have to do is want something and I can make it happen?  Why hasn’t someone told me this earlier?  *squeezes eyes shut* I reaaaaally want a million dollars, a Lexus and a live-in cleaning fairy!  *opens eyes*  Ok, none of those things happened and trust me, I wanted them BAD.  Know what else I want bad?  A day without pills…a summer where I can wear shorts because my legs aren’t scarred and bruised….to go to the pool with my kids and not have to worry about the sunlight throwing me into a flare or the heat making my joints swell up so much I can’t hold a water bottle.  My grandma used to say “Baby girl, wish in one hand, crap in the other….and see which one fills up faster.”  My grandma was an amazing lady…had the mouth of a sailor too, so I cleaned up Grandma’s words of wisdom for a PG audience.  I get much of my sass from her…too bad I didn’t get her cooking skills.

 1.   Everything happens for a reason

Ok….then explain the series finale of the Sopranos to me.  What was the reason for that ‘beat my head against the wall’ ending?  I mean really….did Tony get shot?  Why was Meadow weaving in and out of traffic like she was channeling Frogger?  Who was the guy in the Member’s Only jacket and more importantly is he, indeed, the last member?  Oh, what?  You meant having Lupus?  Sorry…I forgot that I was “chosen” to have it because of my always sunny disposition and obliviousness to sarcasm. Alright, don’t throw things at me…I know that no one is “chosen” to have an autoimmune disease…and I wouldn’t wish it on my worst enemy and maybe this phrase might be the most relevant of them all.  Maybe everything DOES happen for a reason.  Without my illness, I wouldn’t be here…writing this article….hoping that for just a moment I have made someone smile and forget that they don’t have the energy to get out of bed.  If I have truly impacted anyone in a positive way, then everything does happen for a reason.

Written by guest writer Stephanie Kennedy

About Stephanie:
I live in Fayetteville, NC with my husband and 3 always hyperactive and occassionally adorable children. I was diagnosed with SLE in 2001 at the age of 27 and in the time since, have added Scleroderma, Hashimoto’s and Celiac’s disease to the original Lupus discovery. In my day-to-day life I am a Community Relations Specialist (aka, marketing and creative hodgepodge facilitator) with a local electric cooperative and part-time fitness instructor. For the past two years I have served on the Executive Steering Committee for the LFA’s Fayetteville Walk For Lupus Now event.

 

 

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  • Jeff

    Stephanie, everything does indeed happen for a reason. I say this because I suffer from MS, and I’ve been in the midst of a terrible flare for the past couple of weeks, and it’s caused me to be extremely depressed and irritable. In spite of that, this article you wrote made me laugh so hard I thought I was going to have to change my Depends pad. (That I have to wear 24/7, of course. Not the same one; I change daily.) Thank you so much for writing an article that was truthful, insightful, and written in a manner that gave me much needed laughter. 🙂 By the way, I’m a fellow North Carolinian. I live just north of you in Hertford.

  • Deb

    I have heard all of the above before, too. There are times I have had to control myself from screaming or slapping someone upside the head. You are a great writer and you have a great wit about you. I am sorry you hurt, too.

  • Cathy

    Thank You I love it

  • Darlene

    I love the list and have now added snarky to my vocabulary (as in, sorry I’m feeling a bit snarky today but my sleep didn’t involve any rest!). I have fibro, CFS, insomnia, mixed sleep apnea and the list just keeps on coming. To hear my husband tell me if I just went to bed at a decent hour (um, we go to bed at 10, how much earlier can I possibly go?) then I would feel rested. Nope, that won’t do it. If I attempt to go without a sleep aid, I lay there for hours before the exhaustion steps in and knocks me out. I sleep on a respirator aid device (souped-up bipap that forces air in) because my brain sometimes shorts out and forgets to tell my lungs to breath. I have daytime sleepiness and WILL fall asleep at the wheel if I do not nap. And I answer back to those who say that God won’t give me more than I can handle to point me to the scripture that says that! I even had to remind my father who was aghast that I had just gotten up at 10 the other day that I have insomnia (like him…hmmm) and didn’t fall asleep until 4am. The hardest part is my older children and friends from high school remember me “when”. When I wasn’t sick. When I could work two jobs and then stay out half the night and “go” on two hours of sleep. When I could carry on an intelligent conversation that stayed on course and didn’t digress into a million rabbit holes or just fizzle out. When I was almost half my size (thanks steroids!!!). When I could stand up for hours at a time. When my kidneys worked. As a friend once told me “sometimes life is just a bucket of suck”. Not pretty, kind of messy and definitely not for wimps!

  • Cat

    I’m southern, too, and my mama said the exact same phrase the same way your Grandma did, and so do I. I’m blessed in that my ‘chronicism’ will be somewhat relieved when I have knee replacement surgeries next year. But since I can’t have the surgery until then, spoon counting is a daily activity, and it’s helped my circle understand why I can’t always do what I want and be where I want. Bless your snarky self, and keep us laughing through our crying. Laughter is a survival tool, not a luxury. Thanks!

  • mandy

    i had to turn down Tool today due to a flare. i have been feeling good for weeks and the day b4 the show i get a UTI ANd my whole body flares. awesome! THX FOR THE LAUGH

  • Dianne Bramer

    Love it! Thanks!!!

  • Lynne

    I soo needed a laugh today! Bad flare for two weeks now, beginning to think it is never going to end, I was feeling better so it makes it worse, sometimes I wish I never had that short window of feeling better…….Keep up the good work! I really enjoy your essays.

    My husband asked me today why I was overwhelmed. Seriously? WTH? So I answered truthfully, Basically I want to crawl into a hole and die but I can’t because I have so much to do and no one to help me. WOW, these steroids do make one honest!

  • Natalie f

    Brilliant! It just made me laugh out loud! (I have Relapsing Polychondritis, Lupus and Sjogrens). The worst ones I get are the “look at so-and-so”, he/shes suffering more then you…or how about “Yes your illnesses may shorten your life expectancy but I am may die before you, none of us know when our time is up”…oh goody, so I can worry about that too?! I know people are trying to say something helpful but trite sayings DO NOT HELP!!!! Couldn’t have put it better myself then this article..!

  • amy

    Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. I am new to your site, but it is the best thing since sliced bread. I am 39 with RA. I have recommended this site for fellow sufferers and for our loved ones. Keep up the great work.

  • Hello Stephanie,

    I’m just reading this blog for the first time today. Your Grandma sounds like my kind of lady :).

  • Mary

    I have fibromyalgia, arthritis, medication-resistant chronic depression, hyperhydrosis, heat intolerance, and a few other debilitating diseases, and had to retire early.
    On the few days that I go out to to shop for my own groceries, etc., I want to smack the person who sees me out and says, “Oh, you must be a lot better”.
    I want to say, “No, I’m not, but I do need food, and no one got in line to help, so please leave me alone”.
    I also hate the people who say, “I believe you’d feel better if you got out more”.
    They REALLY don’t get it.
    Thanks for letting me vent. Thanks for being here for us.

  • Elizabeth J. Y.

    Great article, Stephanie! It really is simple, but most people don’t seem to know how to say “I’m sorry you’re suffering” and “Can I help somehow?” I think some of the stupid things people say come from their feeling that they have to figure out or solve things for us.

    One of the most frustrating for me is the cheerful, smiling friend or acquaintance who says excitedly “How’s retirement?” Umm … well, I would rather not have been forced by ill health, and my employer’s refusal to accommodate my disability, to retire at 55. And “You’re lucky! I wish I could retire!” Umm … yes, it’s true I’m lucky to have been able to hold out until the earliest possible retirement age, rather than just resign with no pension. But I’d rather have been well enough to keep my job.

    I have fibromyalgia and mixed connective tissue disease. Now, because of a flare, I am housebound the entire day and can only go out when the sun is not visible–literally, or I get even sicker. So I feel as if I’m on an alternate planet. No, I can’t go to a picnic, or to church, or for a walk, or to the beach, or down my walkway to pick up the paper, or even to the doctor, unless it’s at night. The last time I went to the doctor I got sicker, from a total of about 30 mins. of travel on a cloudy day, with medical-grade tinting on my car windows, with sunscreen on my face, and covered in Solumbra and Coolibar fabrics.

    I don’t care what people think any more about my strange hours. I literally stay up until 5 am, when the paper comes and it’s still dark enough for me to go get it, and then sleep until late afternoon, with insulated shades on my windows. I love the HBO series True Blood, partly because it’s just really well done, partly because so much of it takes place at night; I identify with people being up late at night and with the vampires and how they get fried by ANY direct sunlight. That’s me!

    Thanks, everybody, for what you write. I’m glad we can be here for each other this way. Thanks for this website, Christine.

  • Sapphire

    I hate to hear when other people are suffering and know that I can relate to their suffering even if it’s not the same as mine. Suffering is suffering to some extent. I LOVE your list.

    I am on disability (for nearly 10 yrs now) and am 38 yrs old, for bipolar disorder. I also suffer from agoraphobia so I rarely leave the house, which means that I have zero friends and zero support system. Someone once told me that she wishes she had as much free time as I do. HELLO??? Free time? I have NO friends and am stuck in the house all day unless I have to go to the doctor – and those appts are getting to be more and more due to a number of medical problems recently diagnosed (I won’t even begin to go into those) – and I can’t even go to those appts alone – that makes it awfully hard to schedule them. But she wishes she had more free time? I wish that I could work, be a productive member of society, contribute financially to the household so we weren’t so deeply in debt, etc. It’s another one that drives me bonkers (well, more bonkers…)!!!

    Thanks for your list and your humor – I think humor keeps us going!! We have to make fun of ourselves or we’ll wind up worse off than we are (although I admit I often wind up in those spots where nothing is funny, but that’s besides the point).

    Thanks again 🙂

  • Jonathan Lee

    I enjoyed this. Keep it up. I have MS and get tired of this stuff too.

  • Bless this Grandma of yours, Stephanie! This article is great! I not only smiled but I laughed along my reading (ppl can be so ignorant of their ignorance 😉 )…
    You have made my « not-a-good-day » Day!
    A round of Spoons for you and everyone in the room!!!

  • flutewoman

    I have Fibro, and the most common thing people say to me that annoys the crap out of me is: “Have you tried (insert name of treatment/name of therapy here)? My (insert relationship here) has/had Fibro, and it helped him/her immensely.” The only time I sometimes like to hear that is coming from a fellow Fibromite.

    And another thing that aggravated me was when my Chiropractor asked if I knew what triggered a flare I was having. If I did, don’t you think I would’ve avoided it, so I wouldn’t have the flare?

    Lastly, I also get the stuff about being too young to have so many problems. Really? And who made you a medical expert?

    I could go on, but that’s enough for now. 😎

  • Debbie B

    Steph I have love your sense of humor and how you just hit it on the head everytime. You make me laugh when I really nned it. Thanks for opening my eyes to your world. I only wish you didn’t have all this to share

  • Tiffany Allen Bernard

    5 a.m. and in a Percoset stupor but still can’t sleep — I identified with this article so much I couldn’t even laugh. I just sat here grinning like an idiot. Thank you for writing this!

  • Beth Worley

    This is great, even for those of us Spoonies that don’t have autoimmune problems! I suffer from trigeminal neuralgia, along with damage to a few other cranial nerves, and am constantly having to explain what it is, and then they start throwing the sayings at me. If I hear one more time that God can heal me if I just believe in him enough I think I will go bald from pulling my own hair out! Thanks for making me laugh at some of the others I hear, it reminds me I’m not the only one that gets them all the time!

  • The only thing disappointing about this list is that I wished it were longer. I love your snarkiness, which actually didn’t seem that snarky to me. I’m curious what your tallies are, and whether the list is least to most common for you, or most common to less common.

    I’ve had a rough week, and I really appreciate the chuckles I got from reading this post. Thanks!

  • Renea Popdan

    Steph,
    You have done it again and written a masterpeice! And just for the record, i love you and i hate that you are sick! And if I ever say any of these to you, I give you permission to smack me! lol Love you and keep fighting! xoxoxoxo

  • Courtland

    Another GREAT article Steph!!! Keep up the great work and spreading the word for all those who suffer in silence.

  • Danielle

    I get the “God doesn’t give us more than we can handle” line, either. I have lupus, seizures, and heart failure. How much more am I supposed to handle, people?
    My mother tells me I look tired a lot. Ummmm. . .really, mom? Ya think? Revelation! If I have been in bed until four in the afternoon, she has told me I am lazy. If I make the mistake of saying to other people how tired I am, I hear people say how tired they are, too. No, DA, your “tired” is not sheer exhaustion from being sick. You stayed up late watching Letterman and drinking beer and that’s your problem.
    My GP tells me I am too young to take as many pills as I do and once tried to send me to different specialist in an effort to reduce the number of pills I take.

  • chris

    What about the one that says, “It’s ALL in your mind” or “Are you going through Menopause?” I’m pretty sure I’m not! Considering, I was only “20” when I started having symptoms!
    Sometimes, saying “Nothing” is better than, saying Anything. Here’s one for THEM, “Actions Speak Louder Than Words!”

    I’ve been trying to think of what to say in reply to these blogs but, when I sit down to write something, I just want to cry instead. I’m just one of “those” people who doesn’t have a emotional or any support system.

    When the treatments send me into analphlaptic shock “everytime” or the side effects are so bad that I would rather “take my chances” by having “no” treatment…and when, there is no one here, to take me to the hospitol, So, I stay in bed for three days alone, waiting for the pain and the bleeding to stop or just die.
    Also, living so far from “Lupus educated” doctors that, it wouldn’t matter if, I did go. Then,….to have someone treat me like, I’m over reacting, just makes it that much worse!

    …..I have just desided, out of sheer, emotional & mental “survival” to just TRY to go on “without help.”
    I’m NOT trying to make anyone feel sorry for me. Which is why I just don’t talk about it. I would LOVE to be what they think, I should be. The REALITY is, I can’t.

    I’m a little embarrassed to write this, because I’ve, for so long, been quiet. I have to say, I wouldn’t “fully” understand something, someone is going through if, I hadn’t been through it myself.
    I just don’t think, people can understand if they, haven’t been, or are, going through it.

    I’m sorry, if I come across as negative or jaded. Lupus isn’t possitive, or everyone would want to do it.

  • The right thing to say to someone throwing up in a casserole is simple: “Here’s a paper towel. When you’re ready, I have a glass of water and a breath mint.”

    “I’m sorry you’re feeling rotten right now — is there anything I can do to help?” seems so much easier than coming up with the platitude for the occasion.

  • Denise

    I have got to figure out how to use badassery in conversation this weekend!

    I particularly hate the everything happens for a reason bit, too. So, you are telling me that my 17 year old brother committed suicide to teach us a lesson? God had him do that? ARE YOU F-ING KIDDING ME? I don’t want any part of a God that does that. But I do want to be part of a God that is with us through everything, who rejoices on those good, frame-it-over-the-mantle days, and who suffers with us on the days when your best friend is whatshername the barfbucket!

    Once I again I say, my friend, YOU ROCK!

  • raynmakr

    I loved this article! I really hate it when people say all those things even if they are trying to mean well. I have Fibro/CFS, and the big one my husband gives me is”Maybe if you went to bed at a decent hour you wouldn’t be so tired.” uhh, In case you haven’t noticed, babe, I have had insomnia for most of our marriage and having insomnia and CFS are no fun. What I would love along with the “Sorry, I wish it didn’t hurt” is “I’m sorry you aren’t well, is there anything i can do for you, like Watch the kids while you rest, bring dinner, clean,etc?”

    What I say to people with the lemons and lemonade comment is that I’m throwing my lemons back and demanding chocolate! that usually gets a laugh, even though i’m ready to curse the person. Keep up the wonderful writing!

  • Here’s some more for your list…

    “You’re too young to be having all of these problems.” Um, well, apparently not! I’ll just go tell my immune system that it needs to hold off for another twenty years.

    or how about…
    “Oh, you have RA? Yea, I have that in my knee from an old injury.” No, you DA, I have RA! You take ibuprofen I take chemo.

  • Deedra

    you forgot one…’God won’t give you more than you can handle’…If I hear that one more time I will SCREAM!lol

  • Wow! You have not only some wonderful points that we’ve all thought, but a gift of expressing them. And yes, I think a lot of our grandma’s had it all figured out.

    When I was recovering from having the flesh eating bacteria in an ankle wound my mom came and stayed 6 weeks. She said, “Honey, what doesn’t make you stronger will just kill you. . . .” I laughed so hard. I said “MOM! You said it backwards!” But in some ways it was refreshing!

    Thanks for a smile today.

  • Colleen

    Wonderful article once again! You nailed it woman! I also get sick of “take a nap, you’ll feel better.” I wonder if a punch in the face will make them feel better….grrrr.

    You are really uplifting. I thought I was alone.

    Colleen

  • Kris

    LOL, thanks for making me smile today! 🙂

  • Kara

    As always, I love you! 🙂 You have a gift for telling it like it is and that is soooo refreshing. I am truly sorry you are dealing with all of this. Gentle hugs to you. xo, K

  • Excellent list, great article. I especially loathe that “Everything happens for a reason” one. It’s the dainty, socially acceptable way of saying “God’s punishing you and you deserve every bit of that pain, that weakness, that trouble in life.”

    It’s based on the idea of a Divine Plan and that everything’s all for the best. Which I suppose from their perspective it is, considering they don’t have to live with my symptoms, it may be a reminder to them that they don’t have fibromyalgia and there’s worse things than their bad job, harder to leave than their bad marriage.

  • Chelsea Carey

    Another great article and another great cry/laugh moment! You bring to light everyone dealing with autoimmune disease is dealing with and just doesn’t say out loud…… In only the most proper of phrasing!

  • Pookie

    Steph, you continue to amaze me. Here’s another saying that will probably be added to your list buy ima gonna sayit anyways… While you don’t get to choose the cards life deals to you, you DO get to choose how to play them. While I’m really sorry that you’ve been delt the hand you have and wish with all my heart that I could swap cards with you, I am amazed at the tenacity and generosity with which you play them. It is a rare person who would take the few spoons they have and use them to educate the ignorant and encourage the afflicted when all you really want to do it take your spoons and have a nap. Love you…and I really wish that it didn’t hurt.

  • Jen Martin

    Amen!!! You go girl!!! I love your “sass” 🙂 You are not alone.

  • Laura

    Bravo Stephanie!
    You are a very gifted writer, you encapsulated it all. I laughed and laughed.

    My personal favorite is “we create our own diss-Ease. Cancer is caused by anger, diabetes by guilt….” etc….

    Can you believe it?

    What a revelation! Stop being angry and not get cancer???? Wow. Why isn’t that on the front page of every newspaper from here to Hong Kong?

    Mind you, MS (which is what I have) was not on the list of “diss-Eases we create for ourselves” in this book that a well meaning friend gave to me.

    The worst thing that ever happend to this so-called well meaning friend, is she had to get her IUD removed. First medical procedure she ever had, at 48 years old. Go figure.

    I wish you felt better Stephanie, I wish we all felt better.

    Best,
    Laura

  • Tracy Oxendine

    This article is so perfect. I might just print it out for my entire family and set of friends to read! “Everything happens for a reason” woooo girl that one almost makes me slap people. But like you I am a southern Belle but like your grandmother I have the mouth of a sailor and use them both LOL. Thank you for the smiles girl!

  • Teresa White

    there are many others that could be added to this wonderful list. my biggest hated throw away is, if i dare say, well, I’m a bit tired today, the reply is, well, arn’t we all……these are always people who are at least 20 years older than me !! at their age i would also expect to feel a little slower than at 40 or 50. most of us were about 20 or 40 when whatever the ailment is first struck, 70 year olds were STILL saying that to me !!! think then just go away……

  • Chelle

    There is no doubt you have absolutely impacted many in a positive way…spoonies & those that love a spoonie.

  • Renee

    Great article! You have nailed those phrases we all hate to hear but are too polite (being Southern girls) to scream about. People mean well, but it does get tiresome. Thanks for the humor, the sarcasm, and the sass.

  • Carissa

    Well, at least I know exactly what NOT to say! And I’ve really always hated the phrase “everything happens for a reason” anyway.

    Love this! You’re a fantabulous writer!

    Thanks as always for giving me a glimpse into what it’s like for a Spoonie.

    MWAH

  • Erin Talley

    Another outstanding article. I don’t know how you do it, but you made me laugh and cry at the same time!

  • Amen sister! Love this post!

  • Jay

    Laughing all the way from Chapel Hill, my fellow Spoonie!

  • jenny

    ROFLMAO………I TOTALLY agree with everything you’ve said.
    Huggs

  • Carol Burnett

    Gee, I’m glad *I* have never said these things to you! LOL (I love you, Steph! AND your snarkiness!) I AM sorry that you go through this. No one deserves it.

  • Sophiedoz

    Love it! I have Sjögrens and I enjoy this website immensely!

    But you have spoiled the Soprano endings though. *cough* 😛

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