Sick Humor: Advice I Have Been Given to Overcome My Undiagnosed Chronic Illness

 

The Top Peices of Advice I Have Been Given to Overcome My Undiagnosed Chronic Illness.
I am sure many of you have heard these “bits of loving advice”. Here is my top ten to make you laugh and smile. You gotta keep your “sick” sense of humor!


10. Eat Better—Loving friends and family assume that any illness is related to your poor eating habits, while they let their own veggies rot in the fridge and sip their mocha frappuchinos.
9. Embrace Religion—If you invest in your spiritual life your legs will begin to work again. All illness can be healed with prayer. (Although many believe this to be true, not everyone who prays is healed- proven by me.)
8. Chalk It Up to Bad Cramps—You’re 29, but you’re just having a bout of bad cramps and don’t realize it, because you’ve only been dealing with cramping every month for the past fifteen years. This can be replaced with “growing pains”, menopause , stress, or any other excuse that comes to mind.
7. Take More Zoloft—Everything can be cured with more anti-depressants! If you are happy, you won’t notice the pain.
6. Research Online—Your illness is out there, you just have to find it, but when you think you’ve found it, your doctor won’t believe you because you found it online.
5. Find a Psychological Cause—Ever wonder how all illness is related to past trauma of which you have no recollection?
4. Sit Tight for Ten Years—Doctors may take a decade to find the cause of your illness, so just sit tight and don’t bother them.
3. Join e-harmony.com—You’re sick because you don’t have a boyfriend, and that loneliness is manifesting itself in your legs which prevent you from dancing, from dating, or from leaving your couch.
2. Drink Alcohol— A psychiatrist says, “The first rule of thumb is, don’t do anything that will harm you, and since alcohol won’t harm you, you might as well see if it helps you.”
1. See if It Goes Away on Its Own—You’ve had this pretty steadily for about a year now, but let’s just see if it goes away tomorrow and never comes back. We can always hope!
Submitted by Shannon Luders-Manuel copyright 2006. butyoudontlooksick.com

  • lambchop

    Sadly, #1 is the one I hear most. “Just don’t focus on it for a while”, and it’ll go away. Thanks but no thanks.

  • Sasha

    I’ve been dealing with a mystery/undiagnosed illness for 3 years. I’m hoping and praying to be able to have a diagnosis and treatment soon.

    I saw yet another specialist yesterday. After I told him about the symptoms I’ve been experiencing for the past few years, he actually said: “You should try meditation. You mean you lived in California for all those years and you don’t know about meditation?”

  • Wendy

    “You need to meditate. Once you realize nothing is permanent, nothing will matter.”
    “It’s stress. You need to stop stressing over how bad you feel.”
    “You’re sick because God wants you to be sick. If you just accept God’s will, you’ll get better.”
    And my favorite:
    “Just go lie down for a while and you’ll feel better.”

  • Streeca

    You forgot “try harder” and “you need to REALLY WANT to become healthy again”. These are the ultimate suggestions, as everything you say in response to them is taken as evidence that “you don’t want it hard enough”.

  • Karina

    Oh thank goodness!!! I thought it was only me who was being driven insane by “well meaning advice” my Mum’s brother even got a priest to consult my horoscope and concluded that I should be fasting on a Monday not Thursday before asking if perhaps i’d done something to upset somebody at somepoint which may have caused them to put “the evil eye” on me…but like you say you have got to laugh….thanks for the article, and this site is great!

  • kathy

    Sometimes things happen that are just out of our control.

  • Only those suffering could relate.
    This article is fantastic thankyou !
    My favorite
    Go and make babies and get you mind concentrated on something else…… !

  • Geemarie

    My favorite helpful hint is “Just don’t think or talk about it”

  • Onedragon

    “Just take the Prednisone, and everything will be better! The side effects are actually very rare, and it will go into remission for you soon!”

  • colleen

    Let’s see about getting you back to work. I mean really, how much fun is it to (poop till you pass out, etc. . .) at home when you could inflict it on your coworkers?!? Uh, how will you *get* to work? Hmm. Lets try a wheelbarrow and go from there.