Poetry: Pain

 

This poem is much darker poem than my usual style. It was written as a sort of poetic exorcism of the feelings of frustration, helplessness and sometimes utter hopelessness that have accompanied the battle I’ve been fighting with chronic back pain for the past several years.


You gotta work to live
But the way this life is
I’m too tired to try
And I can’t even die
Pain has taken away everything
All the things I could do that were “me”
Nothing is left but an empty shell
My Pain has become my living hell
I’m going nowhere
There’s just nothing there
But the Pain
You gotta fight to survive
But survival’s a lie, not a life
Everything that I gain
Is measured in terms of the Pain
Pain has taken away everything
All the things I could do that were “me”
Nothing is left but am empty shell
My Pain has become my living hell
I’m going nowhere
There’s just nothing there
But the Pain
Everytime I get ahead
I lose it all
What’s left inside is dead
The Pain is all
I have left
Pain has taken away everything
All the things I could do that were “me”
Nothing is left but am empty shell
My Pain has become my living hell
I’m going nowhere
There’s just nothing there
But the Pain
I’m goin nowhere
There’s nothing left here
But the Pain.
Written by Tamara Sue Appelman, Butyoudontlooksick.com, © 2006

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  • tammy

    Beautiful writing, I have ankylosing spondylitis and my work is my 4 young children, it kills me inside that they cant hug me some days because my pain is to much..I feel this poem.

  • paige

    This encompasses how I feel so deeply and darkly so often of late…
    Thanks you for sharing the words I could not find.