I am a pessimist by trade. I’ve tried to change it, but I was born wired this way. I always see the glass half empty. I am always waiting for the other proverbial shoe to drop. So when I consider my illnesses, I am usually thinking negatively. I am usually looking at the downsides.

But really, there are some true positives for me, having Primary Immune Deficiency Disease and being on IVIG. Here is a list of the bright side:

1) Infusion Day – One day a month, I get to completely take the day off and head to my infusion center to get my “liquid gold,” i.e. IVIG. It doesn’t typically feel like a day off. I still get up at the same time as a work day, and I still fight the exact same rush hour traffic since my infusion center is close to my workplace. But yet, once I am there, I just hand over my vein, and my work is done. My brain gets to completely shut off for 8 hours every month. It really is heaven. There is no pressure. I don’t have to answer emails or take any phone calls. I can read, sleep, do absolutely nothing. It’s a much needed break every month that I actually look forward to.

2) Sleep – I have the sleeping pattern of a cat. I could literally sleep 20 plus hours a day. I know so many women, and other spoonies for that matter, who are my age or older with horrible insomnia. I read their emails and tweets at all hours of the night. Not this girl. I am normally asleep within 30 seconds of my head hitting the pillow. My husband will wait to kiss me good night and say, “just wait until I’ve brushed my teeth!” Too late. He doesn’t have that kind of time. If I’m particularly wound up, it can take 5 minutes to fall asleep. If I’m suffering from my own version of insomnia, we’re talking 15 minutes. I know many women who would kill for this sleeping ability. I can sleep any time, any where.

3) Few Infections, Now – Back in the day, before I was getting IVIG infusions, I was sick all of the time. I was sick for every important event. I even woke up deathly ill on my wedding day. The morning after my wedding, I actually sat up in bed and said “Ugh, kill me now.” My groom was not thrilled. I spent our entire honeymoon hacking up a lung and disturbing all of the other guests at our luxurious tropical resort. No more. My “liquid gold” does its thing, and keeps me somewhat healthy most of the year. Last year, I had a bout of tonsillitis, a UTI, and several weird minor viruses. But it beats the many years before that of weeks and weeks of misery, of crying to the doctor that the latest antibiotic didn’t work, of countless trips to the ER, of painful treatments like boric acid powder shot into my ear every other day. It’s true, still on most days, I don’t feel well. I don’t feel healthy like normal people, but I remember the pre-treatment days. It could be so much worse.

4) The Patients – I have met so many amazing people through illness. There’s an entire community out here that I had no idea existed. These people are so strong and I admire them greatly. They offer support and camaraderie. They absolutely remind me that I am not alone in this.

Being a spoonie is definitely not a bed of roses. But it never hurts to stop and smell them sometimes and think about the good. Because there’s lots of it.

Article written by staff writer, Kelly Clardy

Kelly lives in Atlanta with her husband and kitty. She developed PIDD in 1995, went undiagnosed until 2007, and has been receiving IVIG ever since. She also has: capillary hemangioma of the colon, chronic anemia, Hashimotos, insulin resistance, and a host of other dxs. By day, she’s a Senior Project Coordinator and a Zebra. She can be found lurking on twitter, @collie1013 and Facebook, Kelly Jaeckle Clardy.