Talking To Your Grown Children about Chronic Illness
“Lupus”, my daughters said, “What’s Lupus?” Now 33 and 25 years of age, they’ve known for years that I was sick, but they never knew why, or exactly WHAT was wrong with me. There were moments I believed they thought I was a hypochondriac and each new symptom took on less and less severity to them.
The day came when, almost triumphantly, I announced that after years of not knowing and enough tests to keep any lab, hospital or doctor in business, my diagnosis of Lupus was confirmed. Although Systemic Lupus Erythematosus is the term, tip number one, don’t talk over their heads. I knew the research and had worked in the medical field all my adult life. They hadn’t, so it was important to talk on a level that they could understand.
Articles on the subject, in words that would hold their interest, were important. It’s one thing to talk to them about it, but showing them the clinical explanations or its history, symptomology, prognosis, etc. would be important for them. They would need to do some research as well because, quite frankly, with the brain fog that goes along with Lupus, it’s a sure bet I’ll forget some detail that they would have wanted to know.
Speaking of what they want to know almost invariably boils down to, “What’s going to happen to you?” and “Can I inherit it?” It’s important to be as well educated on that topic, so that you can answer as adequately and honestly as possible.
Once educated on the topic of your chronic illness, you’ll see a transformation in your adult children. The path of indifference now takes a unique and important turn, resulting in a relationship of care and understanding.
Article written by Rose Michels for ButYouDontLookSick.com © 2008 butyoudontlooksick.com
