Product Review: I Lost A Lot, But I Found The NuBra!
We’ve all had to give up many things since becoming ‘professionally chronically ill’. Slinky dresses maybe? High heels? Pantyhose or Tights? Pants? But the thing out of all of the things I’ve missed having daily since getting sick, is my bra!! My body is too swollen & tender to be able to bear binding straps, or under-wires. Even sports bras constrict too much for me to be comfortable for even a few quick minutes! So finally a few years back I was forced to retire my pretty assorted collection of brassieres.
Now I don’t know about you guys, but I feel mostly naked in public without one. Unless you wear a blanket the size of a small but elegant Pachyderm, everyone is going to notice you’ve chosen to forgo the ‘Chestal Armor. I could only stand to hear my partner say, “Oh, but I don’t mind a bit if you don’t wear one,” so many times before I began to fiendishly search for an alternative. Surely out there somewhere there had to be a gentle cradle for the ‘girls’ that didn’t make me feel like I’d been enclosed in an iron lung during the Spanish Inquisition?
I went to ‘Victoria Has No Secrets’ at the mall and asked a deeply uninterested and overpaid salesgirl to measure my bust size. I then explained to her that I was chronically ill and how important it was for me to find something soft & comfortable. The next hour was spent making up new words as I realized I couldn’t fasten most of the ‘lacy spine manglers’ without calling for the less than eager help of my apathetic salesgirl. Another 45 minutes was spent trying to get into positions that would win a Twister championship at a yoga retreat. This was all while trying convince my arms, shoulders, hands and fingers to act like they were all part of the same body, and still tenuously connected to my brain. Finally, when completely surrounded by a veritable mountain of silky creations created by Hades himself, did I admit my utter defeat.
Maybe there just weren’t any options for someone like me. It wouldn’t be the first time that’s happened during my years of happy fun time on the ‘too sick to blink express’. I noted the irritation from the salesgirl when I explained why I wasn’t buying any of the forty-two bras she’d brought me for me to try on. Clearly communicating that I was defective in some way for not being her version of ‘normal’, her arrogance served to remind me I wasn’t ready to wave the white flag just yet. The ‘girls’ needed me! So, I searched high and low for answers. Surely, I wasn’t the only one prevented from wearing those silky little bear traps of doom? Science had managed to grow a human ear in a finger bowl. Certainly, someone somewhere had cared enough to give sore and aching bosoms a happy and comfortable home?
Some time later, I was having lunch with a dear friend we’ll call Lola. She’d just undergone breast surgery to remove fibroid masses in both her breasts. She discussed her arduous post operative process, and how hard it was for her to find anything she could stand to wear from the waist up since her surgery. The ‘girls’ and I knew then and there that our long search for comfort might almost come to and end.
I asked her what type of bra she’d been wearing since surgery, and explained the tremendous difficulty I’d had in finding one that didn’t make me want to kick a fluffy kitten when I was wearing it. She smiled the knowing smile of one who has secret wisdom to impart, and whispered the two words that have since changed my life:
“NuBra.”
I’d like to say I heard a chorus of angels as I heard those magical words, but most likely it was just the ‘girls’ singing loudly off key with unabashed joy. Lola went on to tell me that ‘NuBra’ is made with pharmaceutical grade and skin sensitive adhesive. They are wonderfully lightweight and fasten in the front so you don’t have to dislocate both your shoulders and wrists simultaneously trying to get them on!
Each one lasts for over a 100 wearings, and come in so many pretty and comfy ‘flavors’! There are even a few ‘NuBra’ styles that specialize in giving the cup size challenged ladies, like me, amazing never before seen cleavage! The first time I looked down and saw my movie Star ‘girls’, I must admit my swollen, aching self felt pretty sexy! My sweetie thinks it’s the coolest thing since the invention of the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Edition. He calls mine ‘The NASA Bra’! Even if you’re strictly interested in comfort not curves, NuBra has a style that will work gently for you.
However, don’t be fooled by the many other impostor adhesive bra brands. They are shabby imitations of the miraculous ‘NuBra’. They may cost less, but they will let you and the ‘girls’ down! (pun intended).
There are many different ‘NuBra’s’ to choose from depending on size, type and need. They allow you to move freely without binding or restricting you. Sometimes I even forget I am wearing mine, which says a lot for someone to whom clothing has been a painful arch-enemy! They’re also incredibly easy to hand wash, even for swollen hands and fingers. I even manage to make mine last longer than the recommended 100 uses. They leave behind no adhesive or sticky residue when removed, and taking it off doesn’t hurt even the most tender or feverish of skin. ‘NuBra’ has truly given me back a small but important part of my much mourned, previous womanly routine. From my ‘girls’ to your yours, “straps are torture, NOT support.” Go ‘NuBra’. The three of you will be glad you did.
The ‘NuBra’ can be found in all it’s supportive glory at; www.NuBra.com
Article written by guest writer, Chelle Denise
Chelle Denise lives in the always rainy but exotically lush State of Oregon, outside the land of many bridges, near the City of Portland. She’s a parent, partner, disabled health & human rights activist, & more! Chelle was diagnosed with primary sjogrens and secondary lupus in 2005. She’s since added an advanced & rapid form of rheumatoid arthritis to the laundry list which also includes pre-existing endometriosis & bowel adhesions. She can be found trying to ‘Save the World, One Spoon at a Time’ on twitter @PurpleGimp & www.facebook.com/purplegimp.
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