The Spoon Theory written by Christine Miserandino

 

Please take the time to read Christine Miserandino’s personal story and analogy of what it is like to live with sickness or disability.

Click HERE to download “The Spoon Theory” in PDF format.

The Spoon Theory

by Christine Miserandino www.butyoudontlooksick.com

My best friend and I were in the diner, talking. As usual, it was very late and we were eating French fries with gravy. Like normal girls our age, we spent a lot of time in the diner while in college, and most of the time we spent talking about boys, music or trivial things, that seemed very important at the time. We never got serious about anything in particular and spent most of our time laughing.

Cartoon image of Christine Miserandino holding a spoon
As I went to take some of my medicine with a snack as I usually did, she watched me with an awkward kind of stare, instead of continuing the conversation. She then asked me out of the blue what it felt like to have Lupus and be sick. I was shocked not only because she asked the random question, but also because I assumed she knew all there was to know about Lupus. She came to doctors with me, she saw me walk with a cane, and throw up in the bathroom. She had seen me cry in pain, what else was there to know?

I started to ramble on about pills, and aches and pains, but she kept pursuing, and didn’t seem satisfied with my answers. I was a little surprised as being my roommate in college and friend for years; I thought she already knew the medical definition of Lupus. Then she looked at me with a face every sick person knows well, the face of pure curiosity about something no one healthy can truly understand. She asked what it felt like, not physically, but what it felt like to be me, to be sick.

As I tried to gain my composure, I glanced around the table for help or guidance, or at least stall for time to think. I was trying to find the right words. How do I answer a question I never was able to answer for myself? How do I explain every detail of every day being effected, and give the emotions a sick person goes through with clarity. I could have given up, cracked a joke like I usually do, and changed the subject, but I remember thinking if I don’t try to explain this, how could I ever expect her to understand. If I can’t explain this to my best friend, how could I explain my world to anyone else? I had to at least try.

At that moment, the spoon theory was born. I quickly grabbed every spoon on the table; hell I grabbed spoons off of the other tables. I looked at her in the eyes and said “Here you go, you have Lupus”. She looked at me slightly confused, as anyone would when they are being handed a bouquet of spoons. The cold metal spoons clanked in my hands, as I grouped them together and shoved them into her hands.

I explained that the difference in being sick and being healthy is having to make choices or to consciously think about things when the rest of the world doesn’t have to. The healthy have the luxury of a life without choices, a gift most people take for granted.

Most people start the day with unlimited amount of possibilities, and energy to do whatever they desire, especially young people. For the most part, they do not need to worry about the effects of their actions. So for my explanation, I used spoons to convey this point. I wanted something for her to actually hold, for me to then take away, since most people who get sick feel a “loss” of a life they once knew. If I was in control of taking away the spoons, then she would know what it feels like to have someone or something else, in this case Lupus, being in control.

She grabbed the spoons with excitement. She didn’t understand what I was doing, but she is always up for a good time, so I guess she thought I was cracking a joke of some kind like I usually do when talking about touchy topics. Little did she know how serious I would become?

I asked her to count her spoons. She asked why, and I explained that when you are healthy you expect to have a never-ending supply of “spoons”. But when you have to now plan your day, you need to know exactly how many “spoons” you are starting with. It doesn’t guarantee that you might not lose some along the way, but at least it helps to know where you are starting. She counted out 12 spoons. She laughed and said she wanted more. I said no, and I knew right away that this little game would work, when she looked disappointed, and we hadn’t even started yet. I’ve wanted more “spoons” for years and haven’t found a way yet to get more, why should she? I also told her to always be conscious of how many she had, and not to drop them because she can never forget she has Lupus.

I asked her to list off the tasks of her day, including the most simple. As, she rattled off daily chores, or just fun things to do; I explained how each one would cost her a spoon. When she jumped right into getting ready for work as her first task of the morning, I cut her off and took away a spoon. I practically jumped down her throat. I said ” No! You don’t just get up. You have to crack open your eyes, and then realize you are late. You didn’t sleep well the night before. You have to crawl out of bed, and then you have to make your self something to eat before you can do anything else, because if you don’t, you can’t take your medicine, and if you don’t take your medicine you might as well give up all your spoons for today and tomorrow too.” I quickly took away a spoon and she realized she hasn’t even gotten dressed yet. Showering cost her spoon, just for washing her hair and shaving her legs. Reaching high and low that early in the morning could actually cost more than one spoon, but I figured I would give her a break; I didn’t want to scare her right away. Getting dressed was worth another spoon. I stopped her and broke down every task to show her how every little detail needs to be thought about. You cannot simply just throw clothes on when you are sick. I explained that I have to see what clothes I can physically put on, if my hands hurt that day buttons are out of the question. If I have bruises that day, I need to wear long sleeves, and if I have a fever I need a sweater to stay warm and so on. If my hair is falling out I need to spend more time to look presentable, and then you need to factor in another 5 minutes for feeling badly that it took you 2 hours to do all this.

I think she was starting to understand when she theoretically didn’t even get to work, and she was left with 6 spoons. I then explained to her that she needed to choose the rest of her day wisely, since when your “spoons” are gone, they are gone. Sometimes you can borrow against tomorrow’s “spoons”, but just think how hard tomorrow will be with less “spoons”. I also needed to explain that a person who is sick always lives with the looming thought that tomorrow may be the day that a cold comes, or an infection, or any number of things that could be very dangerous. So you do not want to run low on “spoons”, because you never know when you truly will need them. I didn’t want to depress her, but I needed to be realistic, and unfortunately being prepared for the worst is part of a real day for me.

We went through the rest of the day, and she slowly learned that skipping lunch would cost her a spoon, as well as standing on a train, or even typing at her computer too long. She was forced to make choices and think about things differently. Hypothetically, she had to choose not to run errands, so that she could eat dinner that night.

When we got to the end of her pretend day, she said she was hungry. I summarized that she had to eat dinner but she only had one spoon left. If she cooked, she wouldn’t have enough energy to clean the pots. If she went out for dinner, she might be too tired to drive home safely. Then I also explained, that I didn’t even bother to add into this game, that she was so nauseous, that cooking was probably out of the question anyway. So she decided to make soup, it was easy. I then said it is only 7pm, you have the rest of the night but maybe end up with one spoon, so you can do something fun, or clean your apartment, or do chores, but you can’t do it all.

I rarely see her emotional, so when I saw her upset I knew maybe I was getting through to her. I didn’t want my friend to be upset, but at the same time I was happy to think finally maybe someone understood me a little bit. She had tears in her eyes and asked quietly “Christine, How do you do it? Do you really do this everyday?” I explained that some days were worse then others; some days I have more spoons then most. But I can never make it go away and I can’t forget about it, I always have to think about it. I handed her a spoon I had been holding in reserve. I said simply, “I have learned to live life with an extra spoon in my pocket, in reserve. You need to always be prepared.”

Its hard, the hardest thing I ever had to learn is to slow down, and not do everything. I fight this to this day. I hate feeling left out, having to choose to stay home, or to not get things done that I want to. I wanted her to feel that frustration. I wanted her to understand, that everything everyone else does comes so easy, but for me it is one hundred little jobs in one. I need to think about the weather, my temperature that day, and the whole day’s plans before I can attack any one given thing. When other people can simply do things, I have to attack it and make a plan like I am strategizing a war. It is in that lifestyle, the difference between being sick and healthy. It is the beautiful ability to not think and just do. I miss that freedom. I miss never having to count “spoons”.

After we were emotional and talked about this for a little while longer, I sensed she was sad. Maybe she finally understood. Maybe she realized that she never could truly and honestly say she understands. But at least now she might not complain so much when I can’t go out for dinner some nights, or when I never seem to make it to her house and she always has to drive to mine. I gave her a hug when we walked out of the diner. I had the one spoon in my hand and I said “Don’t worry. I see this as a blessing. I have been forced to think about everything I do. Do you know how many spoons people waste everyday? I don’t have room for wasted time, or wasted “spoons” and I chose to spend this time with you.”

Ever since this night, I have used the spoon theory to explain my life to many people. In fact, my family and friends refer to spoons all the time. It has been a code word for what I can and cannot do. Once people understand the spoon theory they seem to understand me better, but I also think they live their life a little differently too. I think it isn’t just good for understanding Lupus, but anyone dealing with any disability or illness. Hopefully, they don’t take so much for granted or their life in general. I give a piece of myself, in every sense of the word when I do anything. It has become an inside joke. I have become famous for saying to people jokingly that they should feel special when I spend time with them, because they have one of my “spoons”.

© Christine Miserandino

*We have English, Spanish, French and Hebrew translations of “The Spoon Theory” available.

You may NOT publish or re-print this article without the written permission of Christine Miserandino and ButYouDontLookSick.com. Thank you.

Now you can purchase small and large poster prints of “The Spoon Theory” from our Online Store! These posters will make a perfect “get well gift, or friendship/ I understand gift.” We also think it would make a perfect addition to any doctor’s office, or support group meeting room.

The Spoon Theory Large Poster – $22.99

The Spoon Theory Small Poster – $18.99

Most importantly, get one for yourself!

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  • Teresa Imvu Astro

    My counselor ask me to check out this website and the spoon theory. It has helped me immensely. I have Fibromyalgia, Raynauds, Chronic Fatigue etc. What I love most is the fact that no only does it help me to understand my own illness but it helps others. When they see no spoons on the table they know I am done for the day. Thank-you so much . I love this site.

  • Anne

    My 26 year old son was recently diagnosed with Type 1 diabetes and this spoon theory is what I see in him. Although his doesn’t involve pain, it accurately describes the constant thought process of measuring, calculating, testing, injecting, recalculating, readjusting, taking into account how a work out will affect all that, late nights waiting for levels to become stable enough to go to sleep, all this just to keep his blood sugar at a healthy level. Thank you for helping me understand how to better support him emotionally.

  • Linda

    This is very interesting to read here from an invisible illness point of view. I had only ever seen it before used to describe coping with Autism, which my daughter and I have. We lose our spoons in similar ways, self care, social experiences, decision making, all deplete spoons. However for us, we are able to get back our spoons when we are able to do things that we love and don’t tax us. I’m sorry you can’t do that 🙁 xxx

  • Suzan

    Thanks so much for your story. I use similar analogies in explaining to my daughter, grand kids and friends why I need to make choices well in advance in planning my days. It is not understood. I appreciate you sharing your story so it can be seen all of us.

  • Jamilah Al-Rahman

    Thank you for sharing this, I’m keeping it to pass along to people who say to me, “but, you look so healthy” (which, I can’t stand considering they aren’t doctors) when they find out I have acute porphyrias (can’t go into the sun) and neurophathy. In the past, all I could do was explain what WOULD happen and what I do to deal with it but, couldn’t explain what it was like living this way, now I have a reference!

  • Freda Sullivan

    Thank you so much!!

  • Tamara G. Suttle, M.Ed., LPC

    Thanks so much for sharing this post and the “spoon theory.” I’m happy to pass it along to psychotherapists who are interested in understanding what invisible illnesses look like.

  • One of my FB friends shared this article with me. Thanks so much for the eloquent explanation and a terrific example we can use to explain our conditions to others.

  • Posting a link to this location is not the same as copying the text and re-posting it. You’re okay.

  • Maggie S

    I have Polcystic Kidney Disease and I feel I do this. Every day can be different and hard, I have to take time and plan or I can’t do it.

  • Pat Poole

    PS, ME and food intolerances/IBS

  • Pat Poole

    Sorry, I posted a link to this on a facebook allergy page I belong to, I was so excited to see it that I did it before I saw the copyright thing above. That said, this is such a good explanation!

  • Debduck

    Thanks for mentioning the mental illness that people deal with often because if physical pain and sometimes not. Lots if us wake up with only a couple of spoons to do us the whole day. Bless your heart !

  • JonnieJo McDaniel

    Mark, Check into Ehlers Danlos Syndrome. Many times it is misdiagnosed as MS, fibromyalgia, chronic fatigue, etc…and can cause all kinds of “weird” symptoms because the “glue” that holds the body is not made right…

  • Ken McKim

    Thanks for the tip Karen!

  • Karen Huard

    There is an old medication called Naltrexone. In low doses it has been proven to stop the progression of MS in many people. It also helps with other symptoms of the disease. I URGE you to check it out. It’s actually called LDN (Low dose Naltrexone). I will post a link for a great compounding pharmacy that is very helpful and knowledgeable about this medication. If you can call them they will help you find a doctor who will prescribe it in your area or explain the benefits to your current doctor. I post this with my personal FB account to let you know this is real. If nothing else — please just look into it. It’s helpful for quite a few diseases and some cancers even. http://www.skipspharmacy.com/wplog/

  • Karen Huard

    Please research Low Dose Naltrexone (LDN) for Chron’s – there is SUCH a great response but it’s an old medication (Naltrexone – which comes in 50 mg tablets but as a low dose medication you only take between 1.5 – 4.5 mg. I URGE you to help your wife by researching this. Skip’s Compounding Pharmacy in Boca Raton, Florida is a leading pharmacy and Skip is VERY helpful if you call him. I hope this helps you very much and changes your life! http://www.skipspharmacy.com/wplog/

  • Karen Huard

    Please research Low Dose Naltrexone (LDN) for Chron’s – there is SUCH a great response but it’s an old medication (Naltrexone – which comes in 50 mg tablets but as a low dose medication you only take between 1.5 – 4.5 mg. I URGE you to help your wife by researching this. Skip’s Compounding Pharmacy in Boca Raton, Florida is a leading pharmacy and Skip is VERY helpful if you call him. I hope this helps! http://www.skipspharmacy.com/wplog/

  • I’ve had migraines since I was nine. At age 32, they became chronic. I am now unable to work. There are many things I can’t do anymore because I know that I will now become worthless for anything else that day and possibly the next. A storm may set me back a day or a week. Thank you for this. Maybe I’ll be able to explain myself better to others.

  • Stephanie

    As I go thru my day praying, I will also pray for u and ur appointment to go in a positive direction.

  • Stephanie

    O wow!! Im crying so bad right now. I was diagnosed w Narcolepsy 1yr ago at 32. I have a 9&5 yr old which made that diagnosis an even worse slap n the face. My family just tells me Im lazy and dont eat properly and to make my kids go outside so they dont end up like me 🙁 These ppl were suppose to b my support system but bc I dont look sick they ignore me and even ignore me at times when I cant make it to planned events. Its hard but thru my kids and GOD, Im learning how to deal w this. Even my husband gets frustrated w me. Now I can explain it to them in a way I think they will understand. Thank u so much.

  • Mark Javorka

    This is one of the best explanations of living with debilitating disease or Chronic pain I have ever read. I use the “Spoons theory” a lot to explain to people who think I look to good to be this sick.
    MS, 3 disc fusion in my neck, and now a mystery issue turning my left leg shades of purple starting in my left foot. I go for Skin and nerve Biopsy’s tomorrow

  • Ken McKim

    Brandon,

    You are welcome. I’m so sorry to hear that you are one of the millions of chronically ill people caught in the middle of this. I fear my petition didn’t do very well, due in no small part to the 30-day time limit to reach the 100K signatures. I have a new idea to reach out directly to the lawmakers in D.C., so please stay tuned to my YouTube channel or FB or Google + for more details.

    Take care of yourself!

    Ken

  • Brandon

    I suffer from Crohn’s and no doctor will give me anything for the pain. It is an invisible disease and as such people think it is just in your head :(. Thank you for taking a stand for your wife and all of us.

  • I call my spoons “Minions” (like Despicable Me)…I only get a few and I try to use them wisely!

  • manicmomma

    Thank you. My son has a genetic disorder, he doesn’t ‘look sick’either, but planning his day and our days, is very much like this…thank you and bless you.

  • Michelle Hawkins-Hazelwood

    I was diagnosed with fibromyalgia 12 yrs ago. It was just a name for what I had been dealing with for years. I feel like this article has explained my life, and I wish family and friends would all read it. But they won’t, they all shut down and change the subject back to themselves any time I try to bring it up as interfering in my activity or pain clouding my brain. Fatigue acting like I’m walking thru neck high mud.. The author is very blessed she has a friend who truly wished to understand, and still be part of her life. It gives me hope that maybe someday..

  • Ken McKim

    My wife has Crohn’s disease, and has not found anything to put her into remission. There’s some pending legal action in Washington DC that is going to affect her, and everyone who suffers from a so-called “invisible illness.”

    I’ve created a petition that asks the White House to direct the DEA to not reclassify medicines containing hydrocodone to Schedule II from Schedule III, thus making them harder to access for millions of chronically ill people.

    I have also made a companion-video to the petition that explains my reasons for doing this entitled “The Slow Death of Compassion for the Chronically Ill.” If you wouldn’t mind reviewing it and sharing it with your friends if you feel it’s appropriate to do so, it would be appreciated. We have less than 15 days now to get the minimum 100,000 signatures on the petition, and getting the word out is the biggest challenge.

    So far we have 2,000 YouTube views and 500 signatures.

    Petition Link:
    http://wh.gov/lGnus

    Here’s the link to the video of my talk:
    http://youtu.be/6UyPlF66KME

    You can also find the links on my Twitter page: @wakeupcalltech

    Thank you for letting me share here with you, and take care.

  • Cinderella

    Dear Christine,

    I really love your text! I have just lost some friends because they were so upset about me often talking about why I cannot do this or that today, and no matter how hard I tried, I could not make it understandable for them. I would love to get permission to translate your text into German and promote it on my personal blog.

    Please get in touch with me, it would be an honor to make your story available to more people from all around the world.

  • Melissa

    This is a great analogy, I’ve thought about my limited “energy pennies” before, but never thought about putting it this way for someone to understand. Sadly people don’t tend to ask what it’s like, most dismiss it. Thanks for a well written article

  • Bree

    As a person with Severe Depression and a family history of Bipolar disorder I have to say THANK YOU! I will be using this possibly every day to help the multitudes of people I know to finally understand. Bless you for coming u with this.

  • Melissa

    This is so amazing. I’m 16 years old and this is how I’ve been living my life basically for as long as I can remember. We’re not sure exactly what illness it is that I have but we think we’ve found out finally. EDS, chronic illness and pain that only gets worse as you get older and so far seems to be true. Anyways, like I said this is so amazing, it’s a perfect way of explaining what’s going on and how we have to live our lives. My friend always gets so frustrated with me when I don’t want to go do something. She just doesn’t understand that I physically can’t. I’m not physically able be it from pain, or not enough energy or both. Maybe I can get her to read this and finally understand. Thank you.

  • Ampeline

    And it is immediate. You have a pit in your stomach that you know you have just ingested poison and it gets worse from there. Oh how I love diarrhea for a day and a half. Talk about limited number of spoons especially on a larger college campus.

  • Dina

    I am a spoonie, and I have a dish. I refer lovingly to my friends and support network as my “tea set”, because a spoon always belongs with the set. All my friends know about this theory, and even refer to it. (I had a friend tell me the other day when I was struggling to decide whether I wanted to walk in a store, or wait in the car, “You need to save your spoons.”) I still cry reading this, because it is so close and dear to my heart, and I *finally* have a way to explain why I am unable to do so many things that for “normal” people is as easy and effortless as breathing.

  • Jayne

    Wow, this really sums it up. I am so happy to see that I am not alone. I don’t think I could have worded this any better than what she did. A point of view to understand completely. For all of you caretakers, significant others, family and friends, this is a good read for you to see from our perspective, and help understand our disease. It helps you feel what we feel. Some days are better than others, but this is pretty much a bingo. Our day to day functions are highly individualized, but the majority of us do things thinking that we can do it without giving thought to our own physical and mental well-being. Very well done with this spoon theory! 10 thumbs up! That is if your thumbs are able to move!

  • Tamara D. Cason

    I was shown this by a friend in my chronic pain support group on facebook. It is amazing how accurate this is! I have my “good” days and my bad days. On my good days I try to get as much done as possible, it makes me feel good, but I usually regret it the next day. On my bad days all I can do it sit on the couch and or lay in bed. I have fibromyalgia, interstitial cystitis, arthritis, disintegrating cartilage in my knees, athsma, chronic bronchitis, depression, post traumatic stress disorder, and panic disorder. On top of all this I am a single mom to a very energetic 2 year old daughter. I jave shared this on Facebook, and I will be showing it to my family and friends in person to help them better understand how hard my life really is.

    Thank you so much!!!!

  • Ryan Shaffer

    I am living with Chiari Malformation and Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome. You have captured so eloquently my day-to-day life with a dozen spoons. Bravo, and thank you for that. It’s so nice to know that someone else gets it.

  • Angel Dreamcatcher

    I run a group on facebook now called angelic dreams it helps me so much and takes my mind of my illness I, v only been doing this a while but it really does help me

  • Angel Dreamcatcher

    I, v just read ur story with tears in my eyes I, m stage 3 copd I cant do much now and I cud b in a room full of people and feel so alone people dont understand all the meds that make me feel sick I dont sleep I cant lay on my back my lungs fill up with gunge and I have to cough it up I, v had bronchial asthma most of my life they say thats y I got copd I cant walk more than a few feet I, m so out of breath I, m in so much pain cant plan anything I have to waite till the time on the day to c if I can get out I had a scooter but it got stollen I, m reanting one now or I wud b house bound I cant do much house work having a shower its like walking 100 miles I cant dry myself I dipdry in my dressing gown I never thought of itur way but I will now ur ver brave thank u for telling me ur story xxxx christine xxxx

  • Leandra Hanes

    Sometimes I get very tired if hearing, “You look great!” Many times I’d, literally, crawled out of bed that morning. I have secondary progressive Multiple Sclerosis, and I have never been able to make people understand what it’s like to be me, because they don’t think I look sick. I don’t…If you don’t remember the old me. The soldier, athlete, and incredibly busy person that never sat down for more than five minutes. Now, I work from home, and have to start planning, a day in advance for a grocery store trip. Then I pray I don’t get too sick to go. The morning routine is just right; no one “gets it ” when I say that I need three hours notice to do something. I love “The Spoon Theory.” Thank you.

  • Gissy

    As a person with celiac disease, it’s often difficult to explain how demanding the act of grocery shopping is. I get these weird looks from people when we go out and I won’t drink beers or have pasta. The worst is when I accidentally ingest gluten – most people don’t understand how fatigued, nauseous and sick you feel when that happens. I love this article… it’s a great way to describe the lifestyle.

  • Ellie

    Omg thankyou for this. I will use it myself to explain to people. I have osteoporosis of the joints which apparantly is a very small percentage of the population who have normal osteoporosis. My ends of bones at the joints crumble like 2 pieces of polystyrene rubbing together.
    I got diagnosed with it as a healthy 30 yr old who had previously always done theatre performances dancing singing etc. My specialist went in thinking it was knee replacement possibly Teflon the knee joints (where I first really noticed the pain) and 3 weeks later gave me the diagnosis of nothing they could do oh and while I was under they mri scanned my body to tell that 85 other bones were showing this.
    I use sticks for short distances and my wheelchair for long or any time I have to be sitting down for long periods
    As I get told lots of times I look normal why do I need the chair or the worst you don’t look in pain! That’s cos on those days no one sees me but fiance and kids.
    again thank you so much for this. May the gods help you on the days you need it and the angel on your shoulder help you through the days it’s too bad xxxx Ellie

  • Heidi

    I have Ankylosing Spondylitis. I’ve been “sick” for several years and didn’t know what was wrong with me. No, I don’t look sick because people never see me when I’m having a difficult day. On those days I can’t even leave the house. I walk with a limp because of fused and fractured bones in my spine. Some days I can barely walk but people rarely see me on those days because I have to stay home. Yes, you have to portion out your spoons on a daily basis. If I need to go to the grocery store then I can’t cook dinner. If I have to clean the house then I’m bad off the whole next day. This article hits the nail on the hard…….but I don’t look sick…..

  • Wendy

    This really hit home with me! People say “oh you look great” if they only knew what it took! Many spoons. And who wants to walk around looking like they feel? I have chronic nerve pain and it has changed my entire life. Things I did before without a thought are a great task for me now! Thank you for sharing this, it is very helpful!

  • Donna Williams

    i just spent 18 minutes bawling out loud uncontrollably. thank you for finding a way for me to show others how I feel. I too shared the link on facebook. Thank you Thank you Thank you,.

  • Irene

    I was diagnosed with an early stage of cervical cancer a few years ago which made a lot of surgeries necessary and in the end I had to have a hysterectomy last year at the age of 34. I am suffering from moderate depression and anxiety attacks because I was constantly sick and in pain for 3 years and unable to lead a normal life. The cancer is gone but the psychological problems are still ongoing and I was never able to fully explain to anyone how I feel and why I simply can not do things some days that weren’t a problem two days prior. I also run out of energy faster than others and need more naps. I have used the Spoon Theory to explain it to my best friend and would love to share it on my blog, I hope that is OK. Thanks for coming up with it!!

  • Lilley

    Thank you. I cried when I read this. I’ve never been able to explain my chronic rheumatoid arthritis to people before. I’ve shared this on my Facebook and encouraged my friends and family to read it.

  • Sabrina

    I have severe anxiety and moderate depression. It’s gotten to the point where I’ve almost stopped going to school. I visit a psychologist and i’m on prozac but i’ve never been able to properly explain to my parents, my mom especially, why i can’t do certain things or go to school most days. I gave my mom the link to this website last night before i went to bed. She let me stay home today. I think this may have helped her understand me a little better. Thank you for posting this.

  • Michelle

    I hope you don’t mind me giving you my answer to your question. For me, it depends on the day. Sometimes I nap so I have the energy to use the rest of my spoons and sometimes I’ll take a nap and actually get enough energy to add another spoon. Unfortunately, some days my body is so tired I could nap, but my brain (I have ADD, too) won’t let me so I drudge on and use up all my spoons early. I am suffering from allergies right now, so I’m having quite a few of these ‘drudging’ days lately. I find that if I avoid sugar, caffeine, gluten and dairy, I can get extra spoons and if I take my supplements I get even more, but some days neither of those things help.
    Wow…that was a long explanation that didn’t really explain anything.

  • Michelle

    I’m not sure why, but something isn’t allowing me to respond directly to Samantha so I’ll write it here and maybe she’ll read it.

    Samantha,

    Are you a doctor of any kind? I’m going to go ahead and assume you aren’t because your information on Fibromyalgia (FMS) is woefully incorrect. It IS a physical disease, but it CAN also have psychological aspects, though not everyone with FMS suffers the mental aspect(s). I have FMS, CFS, neuropathy and DDD and I, like Jen Reynolds, am an extraordinarily positive person. I think you should do more reading on FMS if you care to learn about it because you really have the wrong information. I’m quite saddened to learn that in this era of information technology people still choose to be ignorant.

    I don’t know what made you come to this page, read this amazing story and then demean and belittle people you obviously don’t understand. I hope you find some happiness and compassion in your life.

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