Sick Humor: Information Overload: “Suggestions” We’d Rather Not Hear Ever Again

 

I know they mean well. I mean, it may not seem that way at the time to them. I may roll my eyes, dramatically sigh and wince at the friendly “suggestions” that innocent friends and family members offer up to me at random intervals of my life. I am learning as the years go by to smile and let them spout their new found knowledge. I am learning patience because, let’s face it….they aren’t trying to snap that last nerve we have like an overstretched rubber band on purpose. They honestly are trying to help in the only way they know how, unaware that we have heard it all before. In fact, we have heard them so many times that I could probably rattle them off to you in alphabetical order within 30 seconds. You guys know what I’m talking about…the dreaded…. “Are you sure you should be doing that because I read that (insert activity of choice here) is bad for you.”

When I hear it from people I am close to, I try my best to step back and look at it from their point of view. They love me. They think they are helping. Unfortunately as the old saying goes, ‘a little bit of information is a dangerous thing.’ Armed with their new found information, loved ones continually bombard me with what I should and shouldn’t do. Because I love them too (at least for the time being…) I usually allow them to finish their suggestions and politely say “Thank you for your concern…it means a lot to me, however…..” I then add a conversation closer of my choosing, making sure they know that their suggestion has been taken to heart, but the discussion has ended. On the flip side however, when people I barely know try to impart some “words of wisdom” upon me, my reaction, unfortunately, isn’t so diplomatic. I’ve lived with Lupus for 10 years. Handing me an article you printed off the Internet and glaring at my Diet Coke won’t make me put it down. In fact, it will probably make me chug it and rush to the soda machine to buy another one while I down a pot of coffee. Childish? Probably. But all that frustration that I bottled up smiling at my loved one just exploded onto the unsuspecting acquaintance.

So, because I sat here trying to figure out what is actually the best way to handle such unwanted advice, I decided…what the hell….I’m going to create a list of some of my favorites and responses that I have actually said to the perpetrators. This is not a list of ‘what I would’ve said had I not been reserved’. This is a list of yeah, Steph’s head spun around and fire shot out of her eye sockets, responses. Some of you may agree with them, some of you may think I need my mouth Gorilla Glued shut….but in the end, NONE of you can deny that these statements said over and over to you doesn’t eventually make you lose your cool at least once. So, use this list as your verbal weapons of mass destruction, use it for a much needed laugh, or use it as a guide for what not to do. The bottom line is we have all dealt with at least one of these phrases and not known how to respond. I’ll start with the one I have already mentioned. Feel free to add the ones that you have heard that are not listed. I’m sure between the thousands of Spoonies out there, we could fill a few novels full of them that would rival the length of the Harry Potter and Twilight series combined.

“Are you sure you should be drinking caffeine? I heard that it’s bad for people with autoimmune disorders.”
 
This is one of my favorites just for the simple fact that it makes me giggle. And when I say giggle, I mean laugh like a narc’ed up hyena. For a year, I injected myself with chemo once a week. Know what chemo is, kids? It’s basically poison. I injected myself with poison, and followed it up with enough pills to fill a tool box. After that, I daily popped an immuno-suppressant drug that is given to organ transplant recipients. After THAT, I got a fun little (and by little I mean mammoth) shot in the butt of Prednisone that felt like someone had just injected liquid fire into my skin and it burst into flames and slid off my butt. Forgive me if I like my caffeine in the form of soda and coffee. I highly doubt that that second cup is going to be my demise. In fact, it wakes me up from the muscle relaxers that I have to take in the morning, and prevents me from walking into glass doors. Yeah….that has happened. A lot. Next question.
 
“I read that you really shouldn’t be highlighting your hair like that. The chemicals could seep into your brain and activate your Lupus even more.”
 
Yes, this was actually said to me, believe it or not. After staring at her for a full minute with my eyebrows raised and a complete “have you been sniffing bleach” look, I burst out laughing. It’s hair color people….it’s not some peroxide infused science project. Here’s the cold hard truth…my hair falls out. Lots of Spoonie’s hair falls out. And I’m not talking a strand here and a strand there. I’m talking handfuls of “where in the *&#^@ did THAT come from” clumps. After a hairstyling session on any given day, my bathroom looks like a herd of Ewoks just paraded through and molted. Is hair color perfectly safe? Of course not. It’s chemicals and chemicals are not natural. Then again, neither are shots of Cortisone shoved between your shoulder blades. I rest my case.
 
 “There was a special on TV the other night that said most of your problems are caused by the amount of pills you take. I bet if you eliminate some of them, you’d feel tons better.”
 
*cue the chorus of hallelujah angels* Why didn’t I think of that? And here I was, popping 31 pills a day because they put a little pep in my step and the colors line up like a rainbow on my dresser. This one makes me not so much laugh as look at them like they spontaneously grew a third eyeball in the center of their forehead. After I ask to see their medical degree, I try to explain that I am on certain medications for a reason, and the fact that my Rheumatologist has chosen to put me on them, pretty much means that reason is so I don’t crumple like a rag doll. Of course there are side effects to my medicine, the anti-nausea meds cure the vomit intervals, but it knocks me out like I’d just been slipped something illegal in my drink. But then again, I would wager a guess that the four acetaminophen pills that you just threw back aren’t without their own backlash, either. However, let’s test your theory. I’ll stop my pain meds and anti-depressant and in return, you will lock the door to the house, bolt the windows and hand me the key as you sit fidgeting on the couch. Wait…where are you going?
 
 “Why do you force yourself to exercise? All you’re doing is making yourself hurt worse. It’s almost like you are self-inflicting your pain.”
 
This one makes me want to pick up the 6 pound hand weight in my garage and clock them over the head with it. Self-inflicted? Seriously? Trust me, if I could sit on my rear end and let that treadmill collect four inches of dust, becoming a storage facility for all my Christmas decorations, I would. I surely don’t enjoy gasping for air, icing my knees with frozen vegetables or having to take some extra anti-inflammatory drugs, but here’s the difference between you and me….you work out by choice…I work out to function. That may sound rather dramatic to some of you, but it’s the truth. My muscles try to devour themselves…no exaggeration. The very simplest definition of autoimmune is the body turning on itself. My body sees my entire body as an invader and tries to kill it. Muscles, joints, cartilage, organs….nothing is exempt or spared. That’s the way the ball bounces for us. I don’t lift weights to have impressive biceps or quads that could cut glass. I lift weights to try to strengthen what is being taken from me at an alarming rate. I don’t walk on the treadmill to lose weight. I walk to strengthen a heart that is being attacked on a daily basis. Some live to work out….I work out to live. Think about it.
 
 “I am not so sure you should be having that glass of wine. Alcohol is bad for you.”
 
 News flash!!! Here’s a list of other things that are bad for me: steroids, NSAIDS, anti-inflammatory, narcotics, anti-nausea pills, synthetic thyroid meds, anti-depressants, anti-malarials, sleeping pills, muscle relaxers, immuno-supressants, chemotherapy and pain patches. Impressed? I haven’t even scratched the surface. That was just off the top of my head. This is my daily regimen and I literally have to keep all my medicine in a large lunch pail to keep them together. I understand your point to a degree. Would it be detrimental for me to do about six tequila shots then follow it up with a couple of bloody marys and a bottle of champagne? Of course! That’s detrimental to anyone. However, I highly doubt that a glass of fermented grapes here and there is going to pickle my liver. Besides, if you’re going to pick on me for the occasional glass of wine, I have a few things to say about your cream cheese danish and Red Bull in your hand. Oh yes….I went there. *disclaimer* All Spoonies know that alcohol and chemo do not mix. I am not referring to the times I was on it*

 

“You’re problem is that you sleep too much. Too much sleep is just as bad as not enough sleep. You need to get outside and have some fresh air. You’ll feel better.”

I have saved the best for last, as this one left me completely speechless, which if you know me well enough, you know that is fairly impossible. I sleep too much? Let me set the record straight right here and right now….there is nosuch thing as too much sleep when you suffer from an autoimmune disease. Sleep is a valuable commodity that unfortunately eludes us on a regular basis. Here’s an example…when you have the flu and your body just aches so bad that you can’t keep still….can you peacefully drift into a restful sleep? I didn’t think so. Now, imagine that happening every night of your life. It doesn’t quite lend itself to being bright eyed and bushy tailed in the morning, trust me. Most of the time I walk around looking like I could be cast in the next Twilight movie as Edward’s not so supernatural sister. Naps are a luxury that, when available, I snatch up and run with like I had just won the Publisher’s Clearing House grand prize. There are times that I sleep for 48 hours straight, but that is usually to make up for the 3 nights that I spent crying, watching the minutes and hours tick by on the clock. Less sleep won’t make me feel better….it will make me so psychotic that I would make Lindsay Lohan look like a normal functioning member of society.

As I posed the question on twitter a little while ago, I was alternately shocked and snickering at the responses that came through. I asked, what are some of the things that are said to you in the statement, “You really shouldn’t ______, it’s bad for you.” I got answers that ranged from “eat chicken” to “have kids”. It amazed me the completely asinine things that are said to us on a daily basis in the name of “helping.” As I said in my opening paragraph, over the years I have learned to let a lot of these statements not bother me for the most part. One of my favorite sayings as of late is from my dear friend Chelle. When I get frustrated and angry at statements that are thrown at me, she calmly tells me. “Steph, be a duck…and let it roll off  like water on a duck’s back.”

I guess in the end, that‘s all any of us can do. And to those who continually shove hurtful and unwanted accusations down our throats at how we choose to survive, I have but one thing left to say.

Quack.

Article written by staff editor, Stephanie Kennedy.

About Stephanie: I live in Fayetteville, NC with my husband and 3 always hyperactive and occasionally adorable children. I was diagnosed with SLE in 2001 at the age of 27 and in the time since, have added Scleroderma, Hashimoto and Celiac disease. In my day-to-day life I am a Community Relations Specialist (aka, marketing and creative hodgepodge facilitator) and a part-time blogging snarkzilla.  I can always be found somewhere in social media-land causing some sort of trouble.  Find me on twitter at @steph_in_nc or on facebook at Stephanie Welborn Kennedy.
©2019butyoudontlooksick.com
  • Elaina

    I was diagnosed with JIA at 8- I didn’t receive any real treatment for it until I was 20 because my mother thought it was stupid. She felt it was an insult to her to say I had an autoimmune disorder because hers was fine. Instead she told me it was all in my head and refused me medical treatment. She found my new doctor when I turned 18 and she and my stepfather started golfing with him and befriending him all to convince him I was overly dramatic and just wanted attention. I only got any real treatment when I slipped into a coma for two days when I was 20 because a flare resulted in a fever so high my brain started to boil. Now I have dead of dying bones in my limbs and spine from vascular necrosis and spinal damage, damage to my spleen, stomach and heart. My mother still called me gimpy and encouraged my family to do so and ignore me until I was 25 and had moved across the country to avoid her meddling and find decent doctors. I went almost two years without seeing anyone and got off a plane at a family reunion in a wheelchair with a bag of prescription pill bottles bulging in my purse. They still didn’t take it seriously until my husband made a few phone calls. I don’t know what was said but nobody calls me gimpy anymore or cracks jokes.

  • Bunny

    At an emergency room visit for completely debilitating pain (even the slightest movement had me in tears) an ER doctor told me that my pain was actually a psychological disorder. He said it was Convergence Disorder and explained to me it was because I could not handle my emotions , they manifested as physical pain. He could not find a physical cause for my pain, so he blamed me for it. He basically said I was crazy. Unfortunately I know that many of you have had the same experience. Of course he was wrong. Turns out the problem is not my mental state, but an autoimmune disease and neuropathy.

  • Ciaodhna

    I get tired of, “What do you mean you want to get pregnant? How do you expect to take care of baby when you can barely take care of yourself?” WTF!!! I spend my all of my time trying to keep balance and take care of myself. I’d like to see them attempt manage what I do. Not to mention – What the hell makes you think you’re such a perfect parent? From my mother I usually go with, “I know it would be hard, but I can do hard things and I will do what I have to do.” With strangers (I actually had a woman I had never met come up and start lecturing me as I was sitting in Tokyo Joe’s eating curry and reading information on pregnancy and some of my treatments) I’m closer to my above thoughts. “I’m so glad you’re a parenting and child development expert. I’d love to look at your credentials sometime. Oh, and it’s none of your damn business.” I’m not always great at dealing with people. After being diagnosed with fibromyalgia and rheumatoid arthritis at 12 and currently being 36 I’ve run out of patience. I try to work on it. That’s actually a fair amount more mild than what I would have said at 20. 🙂

  • Miranda Felix

    Ugh. Me too. I totally thought aching and painful joints were normal.

  • Grace

    Im 17, ive had: ‘you just need to pull your self together, its only you that can fix yourself, so just go out and do it’ Wow, i never realised i could cure my own autoimmune disease! Well, no need for the doctors, im just gonna be healthy today!

  • Morgan

    My favorites are “You’re just being dramatic”, “Just try to stop coughing”, and “Just relax”

  • Yoyo

    My fave came last week. If I’d learn this meditation technique that involves picturing a person from my past and my forgiving them, then my illness would go away. And really believing each time I say “I am getting better.” It’s all in my head, after all. I drew a deep breath, smiled and said, “I’m glad it works for you.” and changed the subject.

  • Aeva

    People tell me that all the time too! Sometimes I’ll wince or gasp while standing up, and often have to hold onto something for a few seconds, and almost without fail, an older person will comment that I’m too young to have health problems and I have no right to complain until I get to be their age.

    I’m sorry…I have hypermobility syndrome, fibro, IBS, mild scoliosis, thalassemia minor (which most drs say doesn’t have symptoms, but almost all patients disagrees), lichen sclerosus and some sort of dysautonomia (having a tilt table test in a week to confirm- FREAKING OUT!!). And I’m not even counting all of my mental health issues! Yes, I’m only 22, but…did you often scream in pain when you peed from age 6 on? Do you greyout almost every time you stand up? Does a walk sentence you to excruciating pain for days? Do you think about ending your life on a daily basis? Do your bones and tendons slip and slide all over the place? No? Then I think I have every right to complain.

  • Tamara

    TOnight’s gold…if you just do nothing but post positive statuses on your facebook for a month you watch how your body will heal…really? Fudge! YOU found the cure thousands of scientists never knew.

  • Bailey Johnson

    My least favorite is “if you’re this bad now, how much worse is it going to be when you’re older?” I don’t even want to think about that, thank you ever so much. I’m living day to day, sometimes minute to minute. Please don’t remind me I’m ‘only’ 29 and my future could be worse rather than better >.<

  • Bailey Johnson

    I was diagnosed with nerve damage from a car accident as well as Fibromyalgia at 24. The accident happened at 18 and the Fibro has been there my entire life. I thought *everyone* ached 100% of the time. At 29 I still have some insensitive family and friends say variations of “you’re too young to have all these problems.” Well, no kidding! But I didn’t choose this. Who would?

  • drexes

    my favorite comment by most doctors is “you’re young and have your whole life ahead of you… you don’t need pain meds this early in life. suck it up.” 2nd fav. “you’re just drug-seeking…” when my medical folder is 12 inches thick if not more. fav comment by religious people/family “god has a plan for you to be in this much pain.” i was born with an internal rare avm in my left leg. i had it amputated to get rid of it. i found out i have klinefelters syndrome and medicaid wont pay for the meds. chronic pain and a bs host of other problems none of which are auto-immune but at the same time i still feel like almost every article on here still fits to the feelings ive felt my entire life in dealing with doctors/normal people and all of you make me feel like im not alone. all i want for christmas is a doctor who gets me like my last one did. thank god i found this website.

  • B

    MCTD. Mixed Connective Tissue Disease. Most commonly a combination of Lupus, Schleroderma and RA. I have signs and symptoms of all of them. Nodules in the hands, Raynauds and my left hand snaps closed and pops. I’m 33. I look like a little old man hobbling to the bathroom in the morning because of stiffness and pain. The best thing about MCTD is it can include any auto immune disease. It’s like the mad lib of immunity disorders. Today I may have 3 but next week I may take on qualities of another. It may or may not be a precursor to a single disease, like my body can’t really decide what it really wants out of a chronic illness. It can stick around for a while or play russion “flare” roulette with good days/bad days. The only person who has successfully lightened my outlook and not dictated what I’m doing right and wrong with my condition (seriously, I’ve been told to use essential oils by his mother and that they will work, while calming and pretty smelling, it’s not any more of a cure then nyquil), is my fiance, who thinks it’s absolutely hilarious that I have something commonly dubbed as “dead hand disease”. I’m informed each morning on how much of and what part of my body twitched, from peripheral neuropathy, as I slept (if I do sleep) and that sometimes it can be better than late night TV. At the same time he makes light of my issues he also helps with my shortcomings and is supportive, non judgmental. I know my chances improve with laughter, love and caring that someone like that provides and so far is the best treatment that hasn’t been forced on me as something I should or shouldn’t be doing.

  • Libby

    i just had to laugh at this list because I’ve had many of the same or similar questions asked of/spoken to me. I’m a type 1 diabetic, have been for the past 17 years and once people learn i have it, they go into ‘dr. mode’, giving me hints on how to ‘make my diabetes better’.

    I’ve had people ask/tell me:
    “you can’t eat any sugar, right? so why are you eating that candy bar/fruit snack/piece of cake?”
    to which I’ve replied, literally EVERYTHING you eat, with the exception of water, has sugar in it. everything has carbs and carbs turn to sugars and fats. your point is moot. surprising to most, sugar is not the main ‘enemy’ of the diabetic. that, my friends, is the carbohydrate.

    “you must have diabetes really bad to have to be on insulin”
    actually, no. i dont. i have to take insulin because my body doesn’t make it anymore. if i dont have any insulin in my body, THAT will kill me…albeit, slowly. you’re lucky your pancreas still makes insulin and you dont have to think about blood sugars, insulin to carb ratios, carbs per serving, serving sizes, correction factors and activity level before you eat anything.

    “my grandmother/aunt/third cousin once removed had diabetes and he/she had their arms amputated and went blind. is that going to happen to you?”
    probably not. chances are the medicine and knowledge out there today is far more advanced than it was back 30+ years ago. i mean, you CAN purchase disposable syringes at the local pharmacy now….no one is boiling syringes and needles anymore. also, hardly anyone uses Pork insulin anymore either.

    “cant you just lose weight and eat salads like Paula Dean and your diabetes will go away?”
    no. that’s type 2. and sometimes even THAT doesn’t work for type 2 diabetics. type 2 diabetics still make insulin in their bodies (although, sometimes, just barely). my insulin producing cells have dried up and moved on to greener pastures.

    “did you catch diabetes from eating too much sugar?”
    this one really DOES make me laugh for two reasons. mainly that both statements in this question are totally wrong. you cant catch diabetes from anyone, anywhere (it’s not a cold) and you dont get it from eating too much sugar (however you CAN get type 2 from being overweight). i was an active, athletic, healthy, kid of 13 when i got my diagnosis. oh yeah, i was also the first one in my family history to be diagnosed with type 1. yep, i have the auto-immune version. YAY!

  • Bethany

    I have hemiplegic migraines, and I am constantly getting people giving advice. My favourites have been “Maybe your pain meds are making it worse because I read…” and “I think you should eliminate stress from you life, like, completely.” Yeah, I’ll get right on those things. You learn to ignore people, but every once in a while you get something that irks.

  • Pennie

    I want to thank you Stephanie for sharing your article because it really mademe feel less alone. As I run into people who say the most unsensitive things when they know nothing about me. I am 42 and I have Chiari Malformatio, Occipital Neuralgia, Spinal Stenosis, Intracranial Hypertension, Diabeties 2, Fibromyalgia, Major Depression, Major Anxiety, Hypothyroidism, Chronic Migraines, and some anemias. The brain disorders are incurable and currently have 2 blockages in my brain, knee problems, major edema in my legs and pelvic problems. I went from a strong independent person to a person who has to have someone come in to take care of me. The most annoying thing that gets said to me is ” it is a nice day you should come and enjoy the sunshine” or ” why don’t you come visit” maybe I would if I could walk and not weeble wobble….lol…humor and the occasional meltdown of self pity is how I get by most of the time. Thank you again for helping me through a rough night of pain and discouragement.

  • Audrey

    I think I received very similar advice (fibromyalgia) from my boss when I started having my constant headache and neck pain at work. She told me multiple times if I’d just get back to work I’d get in the swing of things my body would fall in line. I’ve been told not to take my pain meds and take some ibprofin instead (ha). I was told by my sister that she knows someone with fibro who has two kids and works full time so I should be just fine and wasnt I too young to be signing my life off to this illness and that she got in a car accident too and her neck was never the same she just had to deal with it…..It was very hard because I went from being an active and social person with a great job to being house bound almost a month after the car accident that has caused all this trouble for me and I did not have a diagnosis for almost 3 months. People did not understand, so at first there was nothing to say to help them. But I feel that if I can share this with people maybe they can understand a little better.

  • I have MS and am 22 years old, my favorite is the “your so young” remark. I like to respond with “I’ll let me body know they are violating an age restriction” or something similar to that. Or ask if there is a height restriction too?

  • Sandy Buchanan

    I suffer from systemic scleroderma, which has tightened the skin on my arms, legs and portions of my face. I have been told on a few occasions, “Well, at least you’ll never have to worry about wrinkles!”

    Yes, that’s right. I’ll also never have to worry about being able to sit with my legs crossed or to kneel down or squat, because the skin on my legs is so tight that I can’t manage any of those positions gracefully or successfully! And I’m sure happy that my face is so unlined; after all, scleroderma is so much less expensive than plastic surgery!

    I’d curl up my fists and whack people a good one when they make the “no wrinkles” comment, but I can’t. The skin on my fingers is so tight that the closest I can come to making a fist looks suspiciously like I’m forming the letter “O.” (Just picture a middle-aged woman beating someone with her hands shaped into tight little O shapes.)

    OK, so this (most of it, anyway) is tongue-in-cheek. But I’d sure give anything to be disease free and wrinkled instead of chronically ill with a body that feels like a stuffed sausage.

  • Moe Altazan

    Very well said!! I have a kidney disease and it amazes me how many people feel the need to “chime in” on what I should do!! Keep your sense of humor and let the stupidity roll off your back!!

  • Angie_stl

    William, Stephanie is one of my closest spoonie friends and I can promise you that she is friendly, witty, sarcastic snarky, beautiful, wonderful, warm and amazing. Do you think someone that is angry at herself or even her disease would inspire such admiration in an Internet friend? I doubt it. And actually she probably is angry with her disease, diseases actually since she has five that I know of, but who among us can say that they are completely happy with having a disease ravage their body? But as Steph said, she takes it in stride, she tries to shake it off to the point of her own detriment, and she has pity parties every once in a while but they last about five minutes and then she’s back to telling jokes and having twitter TV parties. She’s introduced me to a bunch of other positive, great spoonies that have enhanced my life immensely. If you go on twitter or Facebook and ask any of her friends, and they’ll tell you the same thing.

    And as for the specific things that were “suggested”, I’m not exactly sure how they are harmful, selfish, spiteful or arrogant. They are things that most people do every day, and most are advocate by doctors in certain circumstances. So unless you look at all the aspects of something, maybe you should think before you speak. If you would like to discuss it with me further, you can find me on twitter with Steph by the same name shown here. Feel free to look me up.

  • Chelle

    Keep on letting it roll baby! Quack QUACK!!

  • A potent sign of caring is knowing when to STFU and MYOB, then having the consideration to do so. You (and presumably just about anybody else with a diagnosed auto-immune disorder) are under a doctor’s care. You are a grown-up. You are therefore capable of making responsible decisions on what you need to get you through the day, and it’s nobody’s business to whip your mug of coffee out of your hand or critique your health regimen.

    Kudos to you for retaining a sense of humor about it.

  • Well, William, while I thank you for your response and for reading my article and certainly believe you have every right to your opinion of ME and MY personality and/or character, we will have to agree to disagree.

    I am not a “Mad” person as you state in your response. In fact, ask ANY one of my IRL, facebook or twitter friends and they will tell you that I am the LEAST mad “sick” person you will find. I take my illness in stride and choose to make light of it and laugh. That’s what this article was about….laughing at myself and the ridiculous things that people can say. If you go back and look at the category that it was placed in, you will see that it is SICK HUMOR. I think that speaks for itself.

    As for your comment about me “resenting people who care about me for speaking up and demonize them” that is the FURTHEST thing from the truth. The people who care about me and speak up KNOW I love them as I tell them that every day. They also love me for who I am and love me for being the sassy and opinionated person I am. I have a HUGE support system and I am blessed to have them.

    Before you make judgement about other people, please read the other responses to this article before you post one of your one. The other 100 or so people who commented KNEW it was meant to be a “tongue-in-cheek” humor piece. I hope whatever illness you are dealing with only gets better and you find peace.

    I find mine in laughter.

  • daisykaj

    I love it when people also tell you that you are too young to be feeling sick all the time…like it is a choice!! I am 31 and people say to me, “You are too young to have all those problems” and “Don’t you ever get tired of being sick all the time?” Well, duh! No, I like feeling tired and achy all the time! I have also heard, in reference to my depression…”What do you have to be depressed about?” I try to explain brain chemicals and that it is not just sadness that can be cured by an ice cream cone, but it is like talking to a brick wall. I also get tired of the “you are always sick” and “you never feel well”. Thanks! I know! People can be so stupid sometimes…quack!!! Thanks for this site…at least I know I am not alone! 🙂