Sick Humor: The top ten worst suggestions commonly given to someone with a chronic illness


Sometimes you just gotta have a sense of humor!

The top ten worst suggestions commonly given to someone with a chronic illness:
1)Have you tried holistic options? (many. I’ll bring it back up with my doctor on my next visit, thanks.)
2) Could it be your stress? (My opinion is, it is my illness. I’ll bring it up with my doctor though, thanks.)
3) Could it have to do with the altitude? (I’ll bring it up with my doctor…thanks.)
4) I read in {insert any generic magazine here} about a new medication. Have you heard about it? (I was on it when it came out 17 years ago. but I’ll bring it up with my doctor. thank you.)
5) Have you thought about being in a trial study? (I’ll ask my doctor. thanks?)
6) WOW. If I were you, I don’t know what I would do. I might just kill myself. (Thanks?)
7) Have they found what is causing the problem? (no. my doctor is an idiot. I’ll remind him, thanks!)
8) Have you tried hypnosis? (I’m still sick, but when the phone rings I bark like a dog.)
9) Have you googled your illness? (….no! thanks!)
10 Have you ever thought you were getting sick because you haven’t wrapped your house in aluminum foil because, you know, the aliens have been bugging our houses for the past 30 years and in some cases, making people really sick. I read on…..gee I lost the web site. but it’s true! I heard it from Sally’s cousin’s sister-in- law. And then every time you use deodorant you would think you would be warding off these bugging rays, but it still makes it worse, so you are not being pro-active to your health by wearing that deodorant. I can’t believe you! If you wanted to get better you would stop wearing deodorant..(voice gets fainter and fainter the further you just walk away.) THANKS!!!!!!!!!!
Article written by Amy-Beth Maran , © 2007

  • Grace

    Ive had ‘Do you have your 5 a day?’
    Gee..thanks..i never know it was that simple.. xD

  • Bobbie Wilson

    My favorite with my HM is “it’s all in your head” when the migraine hits. I usually say “yep that’s where it hurts”.

  • Kyra Zandberg

    if you are taking all these different alkaloids, you should probably be concerned for your liver. Eating lots of dandelion, nettles, and thistles will help your liver cope with this overload. I sympathize with your pain. I have CFIDS and have been in constant pain for about 30 years now. I use a combination of allopathic and herbal substances, as well as staying as physically active as possible. Mostly, though, I don’t focus on being sick. Meditation and biofeedback can help a lot with learning to stay positive.

  • Kyra Zandberg

    have you adjusted your diet? You don’t mention how you eat. Gmo’s, pesticides, chemicals, etc., can really screw with your gut. I had similar symptoms until I went organic. Soy is the worst.

  • Kyra Zandberg

    my lifelong migraines disappeared after menopause. If you haven’t tried it yet, there is anecdotal evidence that taking feverfew daily can help prevent migraines in some people. It did help me, and can’t hurt.

  • drmom5

    This is a humor article, not a support group. People like you never get enough pity to fill your bottomless pit of need. If I can get just one person to realize that everyone has troubles and to get her head out of her naval, it’s worth all the hatred you spew at me.

  • Cheryl

    Interesting person, you are. I just read the things you have posted for the last 7 months. You have nothing but negative things to say to everyone. Most of your comments are rude, thoughtless and you blatantly target people to hurt them. Therefore, I’m done talking to you, so blaze away. I am no longer playing your game. I’m not wasting another moment thinking about you.. You win. You’re the biggest mouth and bitch. Enough said.

  • drmom5

    If you’re taking 21 pills a day because some authority figure told you to, yeah, you’re just an attention seeker. Take control of your illness.

  • drmom5

    I am sick of you people living your diagnoses and crying about how people should treat you differently. Look back on what started this shitstorm. I merely warned people that most of the drugs that are being pushed cause side effects that require other drugs to counteract the side effects, ad nauseum. Instead of blindly dismissing alternatives, you all need to TRY EVERYTHING to get your disease under control. Play the hand you were dealt instead of making your illness your life’s meaning.

  • Cheryl

    You don’t know me or my situation, but that doesn’t matter. You’re angry and want to inflict that on someone else. I’m not crying, but you sure as hell are. I have tried the alternatives. Some help some don’t. There’s no cure for what I have either, but trying to hurt others is a choice. You choose to seek people out and belittle them. Sounds pretty pitiful to me, So you’re right. You are sicker than me.

  • drmom5

    This just in. Lawyers are advertising for clients who put talc in their underwear and got ovarian cancer!

  • drmom5

    Yeah? You tried fish oil, 3g. 3x/day? Research shows it reduces the severity and frequency of migraines. How about 400mg of magnesium before bed? I didn’t think so. You’re too busy grooving on the pity-train. Enjoy your liver damage.

  • drmom5

    Wah wah wah. I’m sicker than you! I WISH I *only* had lupus. I am supposed to be taking a handful of supplements 4x a day just to survive because there’s no cure for what *I* have. Get off your lazy-ass, pity horse and find alternatives to your toxic pills!

  • Cheryl

    Yea, me too, Carol. I LOVE it. sheesh N

  • Cheryl

    Drmom, did you really just say that? I am amazed that people like you still exist. Before opening your mouth, maybe you should research it. Unless you live it, you don’t know. I have lupus and have had it for years now. I personally don’t give a damn what you think, but it pisses me off that you choose to say it on a board that is supposed to be supportive.

  • Wyatt Earp

    Because the ‘Secret’ was written by a wacko television writer.
    The Bible was “written/inspired” by an invisible, mythical sky daddy.
    Both the ‘Secret’ and praying to the God of the Bible is unlikely to achieve anything but wasting your time.

  • hobartchic

    He, in my case, it probably is a virus that is causing immune system havoc, also known as chronic fatigue syndrome. “Just a virus” does not even come close to encapsulating the pain and suffering I have felt for years.

  • yongxinquaini22

    Every year, the company was invested to advertise Coach Outlet COACH brand and its products worldwide. In the English version of “ELLE” (World Court of fashion), “URBANITES” (city Coach Outlet Online people), “NEXT MAGAZINE” (One Week), “ZIP MAGAZINE”, “VOGUE”, “LUCKY” and other famous fashion magazine, Japanese edition , Traditional Chinese, Simplified Chinese version on invested heavily About COAChinese-speaking world, but Coach Bags also as the “Apple Daily”, “Hong Kong Economic Times”, “Ming Pao Coach Wallets Weekly” and other famous Chinese media put a lot of Chinese advertising to study the Chinese market. These well-known newspapers and magazines are further introduced a special article written Coach Baby Bags COACH brand and give a high evaluation.

  • monak

    … when i was diagnosed with CRPS by an orthopeadic surgeon he advised me to google the condition and if I got upset reading about it, I should stop reading …

  • stloria

    The “exercise more and lose weight” is one of the ones that galls me… also, my new favorite: “envision yourself being better, and let go of the past, that’s why you’re sick.”

  • Emma Freeman

    The ones I have to deal with most are:
    1. a. Nonsense, there’s no such thing (no, really!)
    b. You’re a hypochondriac (that was my (ex-)doctor).
    2. My friend had that and she got better after six months (well, then, she didn’t have this, did she?).
    3. Maybe losing weight would help (yeah, cos the constant pain and inability to make the chemical my heart needs in order to exercise won’t impede that in ANY way)
    4. You should get out more/ do more exercise/ walk instead of taking the car.
    5. Have you tried counselling? (grrrrrrrrr)
    6. If you ate less chips, you wouldn’t need to take so many tablets (from a complete stranger passing my lunch table).
    If I had the strength to punch some of them, at least I would get free bed and board in prison…

  • Job

    Oops! I dont know what happened to that last post of DonnaJean’s sorry about taking up room!!

  • Job

    Hi DonnaJean I am so sorry to hear of your pain both physical and emotional. Of course emotional pain is so much harder to bear. One way I learnt to cope with how others affected me (family included) was to not expect anything from them, to do what I believed was right (so I enjoyed living with myself) and in that way I was never disappointed. Over time I occasionaly was pleasantly surprised. Just let your daughter know you love her and the door is always open but she MUST show you respect.

  • Job

    Everyone runs the gauntlet of ill informed, opinionated people not just those of us who are ill.
    I am a Christian and my relationship with Christ is wonderful; unfortunately many “Job’s friends” religious or unwise people (as opposed to people living in relationship with Christ and compassionate) aren’t, so I have a LOT of ill informed opinions forced on me.
    But no more than friends, workmates or Drs. Ignored by some friends, others act surprised if I comment on being ill, as if they arent aware I was. When I was able to work – jealousy from those who wanted a chair like mine because they too had a sore back (not my problem); or a huge computer screen because it was “cool” ignoring I was near blind. Or comments I am ok just look tired not understanding my ptosis is the only visible sign.
    The best advice from Drs was I would be better in a couple of months….21 years later..the worst was from a Neurologist I just needed sex and I would be fine!
    Out of the heart the mouth speaks so self righteous, jealous, money hungry fiends should be ignored, laughed at, forgiven for their lack of compassion so we can move on OR shared with those of us who climb Mt Everest everyday…unbeknown to people who think we are just lazy by sitting or lying in bed and dont deserve love, true supportive friendship and understanding!

  • Adam Black

    CBD is isolated. CBD doesnt get you high.

    There is medical form right now being tested for childhood seizures

  • Adam Black


  • Adam Black

    brother in christ? I think not. Thats pure evil

    “Suffering is a choice.” Says the smarmy ablebodied person not in pain.

    “suffer in silence…that is better” And you open your vicious mouth and spread suffering. Fuck off and die! Why are you on this site if you think we should “suffer in silence”

    “better still” Better still stop being a busybody moralizing asshole preacher casting judgement on others, and telling other people how to live their lives. Its clear you havent a clue yourself

    Take your religious bullshit , back to your self-rightous church.

  • A Brother in Christ!

    WE ALL SUFFER….some more than others…Suffering is a choice… People are only trying to be helpful and the only reason they are doing that in the first place is because they care…suffer in silence…that is better…better still accept the situation and refuse to suffer and do not pass on that suffering to others…and first and foremost…find out who you truly are!! You are not a body!

  • Carol Archer

    Yep I love shoving tablets in my mouth 4 TIMES A DAY. I take them because they Help me cope with having these illnesses. I have migraines…..I take pills to keep them away. I take 4 types of pain killers because taking one type doesnt take it away…4 doesn’t either but they help. ?…….get the idea drmom5…..grrrrrr

  • Helen Owens

    Think the only one I haven’t tried is no ten. Now where did I put the kitchen foil, do you think one roll will do it. lol

  • Michelle

    I have been told if I ate organic I would be cured, if I drank special tea, if I had acupuncture…the list goes on and on

  • jkoul

    drmom5, internet troll

  • Anon

    This is an old post, but this cracked me up. I so feel you on these sorts of things. Thank you for writing this.

  • mist42nz

    I actually think the replies are worse than the best wish comments.
    Even though my brother and his wife are medical consultants (aka rich doctors) I don’t trust them. Too many wrong meds despite argument, too many “oh did we put stitches in, I can’t remember and we’ve lost your records (again)” …or when a GP gave my great grandmother (86yrs) blood thinners to reduce her high blood pressure. (set gets nervous around “important people” like doctors, and he thought she was 50 she _used_ to be in such good condition. Turns out she had a bad cold, …dead 6 months later…… So…. welllll… you know where you can stick “bringing it up with your doctor”

    Perhaps when we start paying them on for success not per visit things will improve.

  • PillPopper

    yes, we just like taking 21 pills a day, that’s it. we’re just attention seekers. it’s all in our head.

  • Sarah

    I had a doctor tell me I really should eat more. I have Gastroparesis and Eosinophilic Esophagitis. One disease causes me to have a hard time swallowing and the other causes my stomach to not empty into my small intestine properly. Thanks, doc! That’s great advice! I’d love to! Now, find a cure for my stupid diseases so that I can follow your stupid pants advice!

  • Parker

    My favorite is, “Are you sure it’s not all in your head”? THAT makes me soo mad!! It’s like yeah of course, all these aches and pains and fatigue and my hair loss are just in my head. . . and so is this rash on my face. Let me adjust me attitude so this will all go away. lol

  • drmom5

    Soon as the gut pain hits, I take my B2. it helps me.

  • drmom5

    How about krill oil? It’s what fish eat. There’s also DHA/EPA made from seaweed. It’d be worth a try, standing by the ER.

  • drmom5

    I had a vegetarian trying to tell me I can get enough protein by eating plants I’m allergic to. So we’re even.

  • drmom5

    Not lupus, but MS patients have had great improvements from going gluten-free, casein-free.

  • drmom5

    How is that different from people praying for your cure?

  • drmom5

    When you’re treating the side effect of a side effect, you’ll see they’re right. Unless you just LIKE taking meds.

  • Diane

    I was just told the classic line, “but you don’t LOOK sick” and then she added, “I don’t think you are sick…you’re just sick in the head.” (Thanks for that punch in the gut.)

  • Cat

    Ha! Sounds like my parents. Only difference is they tell me I should eat meat and I’ll be all better. Apparently being vegan my entire life and working with a nutritionist isn’t enough… “its all in (my) head”

  • Lisa

    I have been told more than once that “juicing” will cure me in a snap. Also I’ve gotten the suggestion: “you need to find a different doctor.” And my personal favorite: “Why don’t you just come off all those meds? They’re probably what’s making you sick!”

  • Brian Jones

    Unless you have a sea food allergy, then yo0u just get to spend a few days in the hospital. I say this because a doctor gave me Glucosamine once without realizing it was fish based and I ended up in the emergency room because of it. There is no “easy button”, there is no miracle cure, and fair comes to town once a year. You can identify what is and isn’t fair by the presence or absence of ferris wheels.

  • Susan Precht

    I had a friend suggest that God had cursed me. Not me actually but a forefather several generations back mya have been cursed and all of his children, children’s children and etc. That really was strange.
    I loved your last sentence.

  • AlanaBeauregard

    Nanette have you had surgery for the Chiari malformation? Chiari and Syringomyelia are real nightmares as no two are alike exactly and NORD just doesn’t seem to care about the Rare and Orphaned.

  • Shmulu

    Worst I ever heard was “You need to read the Secret, and you’ll be cured in no time.” From what I read of it, it was all about wishful thinking and expecting the universe to do as you ask because you’re just so awesome. Trust me, nobody wishes more than sick people that they’d get better.