Talking To Your Grown Children about Chronic Illness

“Lupus”, my daughters said, “What’s Lupus?” Now 33 and 25 years of age, they’ve known for years that I was sick, but they never knew why, or exactly WHAT was wrong with me. There were moments I believed they thought I was a hypochondriac and each new symptom took on less and less sever

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My Favorite Ways to Entertain a Child, Sick or Well!

One of the best things to do when your wee one is sick is take some time with them and read to them. You can hold them in your lap while you do, so they can see the illustrations, too. Or, if they aren’t well enough for that, sit close to them, maybe hold their hand, and act like storytellers do

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The problem of a single “invisible” mother

Here we hear all kinds of controversy about day care for working Americans as another presidential election runs on and on through the mud puddles. What about those of us with invisible illnesses? Day care is great, affordable day care is even better, but what about the single mother? More to the

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Care Giver Support: Handling the Unexpected With an Elderly Loved One

The other day my mother had a medical emergency and I was totally unprepared. I had always prided myself on the fact that since my daughter Christine had Lupus, I was pretty good at handling emergency hospital visits. But this time it was my 82 year old mom and I did not have the situation or myself

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Never ask – “How are you feeling today?”

It's taken me a long time to get out of the automatic habit of saying, "How are you?" when I see someone. That question would be all right to ask most healthy people because the spontaneous response of "fine" would be appropriate. I have discovered that people who are ill hate that simple question

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Needing Help and Getting Organized

We’ve all done this- had to ask the dreaded question of “can you help me?” Whether it’s needing help in cleaning or making it to the store, we all have our limitations and at some time, need to ask for help. Of Course asking for help isn’t easy, especially when met with comments like, “

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Breaking the Ice on Sex, Intimacy & Chronic Illness

I was diagnosed with SLE in my teens, long before I'd become sexually active. When sex became a part of my identity, instead of being a glorious whirlwind of sloppy kisses and knock-your-socks off orgasms, I viewed it as yet another physical activity, I had to worry about! My bones popped so often,

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Everything I thought I knew about going to the hospital. ( also known as do what you gotta do)

Unfortunately when you have a child with a chronic illness, you come to think of yourself as some sort of expert on the subject. It's not exactly a specialty that you dreamt of having, but one nonetheless that you take ownership of with some sense of pride. My daughter Christine has had Lupus f

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