The Spoon Theory written by Christine Miserandino

 

Please take the time to read Christine Miserandino’s personal story and analogy of what it is like to live with sickness or disability.

Click HERE to download “The Spoon Theory” in PDF format.

The Spoon Theory

by Christine Miserandino www.butyoudontlooksick.com

My best friend and I were in the diner, talking. As usual, it was very late and we were eating French fries with gravy. Like normal girls our age, we spent a lot of time in the diner while in college, and most of the time we spent talking about boys, music or trivial things, that seemed very important at the time. We never got serious about anything in particular and spent most of our time laughing.

Cartoon image of Christine Miserandino holding a spoon
As I went to take some of my medicine with a snack as I usually did, she watched me with an awkward kind of stare, instead of continuing the conversation. She then asked me out of the blue what it felt like to have Lupus and be sick. I was shocked not only because she asked the random question, but also because I assumed she knew all there was to know about Lupus. She came to doctors with me, she saw me walk with a cane, and throw up in the bathroom. She had seen me cry in pain, what else was there to know?

I started to ramble on about pills, and aches and pains, but she kept pursuing, and didn’t seem satisfied with my answers. I was a little surprised as being my roommate in college and friend for years; I thought she already knew the medical definition of Lupus. Then she looked at me with a face every sick person knows well, the face of pure curiosity about something no one healthy can truly understand. She asked what it felt like, not physically, but what it felt like to be me, to be sick.

As I tried to gain my composure, I glanced around the table for help or guidance, or at least stall for time to think. I was trying to find the right words. How do I answer a question I never was able to answer for myself? How do I explain every detail of every day being effected, and give the emotions a sick person goes through with clarity. I could have given up, cracked a joke like I usually do, and changed the subject, but I remember thinking if I don’t try to explain this, how could I ever expect her to understand. If I can’t explain this to my best friend, how could I explain my world to anyone else? I had to at least try.

At that moment, the spoon theory was born. I quickly grabbed every spoon on the table; hell I grabbed spoons off of the other tables. I looked at her in the eyes and said “Here you go, you have Lupus”. She looked at me slightly confused, as anyone would when they are being handed a bouquet of spoons. The cold metal spoons clanked in my hands, as I grouped them together and shoved them into her hands.

I explained that the difference in being sick and being healthy is having to make choices or to consciously think about things when the rest of the world doesn’t have to. The healthy have the luxury of a life without choices, a gift most people take for granted.

Most people start the day with unlimited amount of possibilities, and energy to do whatever they desire, especially young people. For the most part, they do not need to worry about the effects of their actions. So for my explanation, I used spoons to convey this point. I wanted something for her to actually hold, for me to then take away, since most people who get sick feel a “loss” of a life they once knew. If I was in control of taking away the spoons, then she would know what it feels like to have someone or something else, in this case Lupus, being in control.

She grabbed the spoons with excitement. She didn’t understand what I was doing, but she is always up for a good time, so I guess she thought I was cracking a joke of some kind like I usually do when talking about touchy topics. Little did she know how serious I would become?

I asked her to count her spoons. She asked why, and I explained that when you are healthy you expect to have a never-ending supply of “spoons”. But when you have to now plan your day, you need to know exactly how many “spoons” you are starting with. It doesn’t guarantee that you might not lose some along the way, but at least it helps to know where you are starting. She counted out 12 spoons. She laughed and said she wanted more. I said no, and I knew right away that this little game would work, when she looked disappointed, and we hadn’t even started yet. I’ve wanted more “spoons” for years and haven’t found a way yet to get more, why should she? I also told her to always be conscious of how many she had, and not to drop them because she can never forget she has Lupus.

I asked her to list off the tasks of her day, including the most simple. As, she rattled off daily chores, or just fun things to do; I explained how each one would cost her a spoon. When she jumped right into getting ready for work as her first task of the morning, I cut her off and took away a spoon. I practically jumped down her throat. I said ” No! You don’t just get up. You have to crack open your eyes, and then realize you are late. You didn’t sleep well the night before. You have to crawl out of bed, and then you have to make your self something to eat before you can do anything else, because if you don’t, you can’t take your medicine, and if you don’t take your medicine you might as well give up all your spoons for today and tomorrow too.” I quickly took away a spoon and she realized she hasn’t even gotten dressed yet. Showering cost her spoon, just for washing her hair and shaving her legs. Reaching high and low that early in the morning could actually cost more than one spoon, but I figured I would give her a break; I didn’t want to scare her right away. Getting dressed was worth another spoon. I stopped her and broke down every task to show her how every little detail needs to be thought about. You cannot simply just throw clothes on when you are sick. I explained that I have to see what clothes I can physically put on, if my hands hurt that day buttons are out of the question. If I have bruises that day, I need to wear long sleeves, and if I have a fever I need a sweater to stay warm and so on. If my hair is falling out I need to spend more time to look presentable, and then you need to factor in another 5 minutes for feeling badly that it took you 2 hours to do all this.

I think she was starting to understand when she theoretically didn’t even get to work, and she was left with 6 spoons. I then explained to her that she needed to choose the rest of her day wisely, since when your “spoons” are gone, they are gone. Sometimes you can borrow against tomorrow’s “spoons”, but just think how hard tomorrow will be with less “spoons”. I also needed to explain that a person who is sick always lives with the looming thought that tomorrow may be the day that a cold comes, or an infection, or any number of things that could be very dangerous. So you do not want to run low on “spoons”, because you never know when you truly will need them. I didn’t want to depress her, but I needed to be realistic, and unfortunately being prepared for the worst is part of a real day for me.

We went through the rest of the day, and she slowly learned that skipping lunch would cost her a spoon, as well as standing on a train, or even typing at her computer too long. She was forced to make choices and think about things differently. Hypothetically, she had to choose not to run errands, so that she could eat dinner that night.

When we got to the end of her pretend day, she said she was hungry. I summarized that she had to eat dinner but she only had one spoon left. If she cooked, she wouldn’t have enough energy to clean the pots. If she went out for dinner, she might be too tired to drive home safely. Then I also explained, that I didn’t even bother to add into this game, that she was so nauseous, that cooking was probably out of the question anyway. So she decided to make soup, it was easy. I then said it is only 7pm, you have the rest of the night but maybe end up with one spoon, so you can do something fun, or clean your apartment, or do chores, but you can’t do it all.

I rarely see her emotional, so when I saw her upset I knew maybe I was getting through to her. I didn’t want my friend to be upset, but at the same time I was happy to think finally maybe someone understood me a little bit. She had tears in her eyes and asked quietly “Christine, How do you do it? Do you really do this everyday?” I explained that some days were worse then others; some days I have more spoons then most. But I can never make it go away and I can’t forget about it, I always have to think about it. I handed her a spoon I had been holding in reserve. I said simply, “I have learned to live life with an extra spoon in my pocket, in reserve. You need to always be prepared.”

Its hard, the hardest thing I ever had to learn is to slow down, and not do everything. I fight this to this day. I hate feeling left out, having to choose to stay home, or to not get things done that I want to. I wanted her to feel that frustration. I wanted her to understand, that everything everyone else does comes so easy, but for me it is one hundred little jobs in one. I need to think about the weather, my temperature that day, and the whole day’s plans before I can attack any one given thing. When other people can simply do things, I have to attack it and make a plan like I am strategizing a war. It is in that lifestyle, the difference between being sick and healthy. It is the beautiful ability to not think and just do. I miss that freedom. I miss never having to count “spoons”.

After we were emotional and talked about this for a little while longer, I sensed she was sad. Maybe she finally understood. Maybe she realized that she never could truly and honestly say she understands. But at least now she might not complain so much when I can’t go out for dinner some nights, or when I never seem to make it to her house and she always has to drive to mine. I gave her a hug when we walked out of the diner. I had the one spoon in my hand and I said “Don’t worry. I see this as a blessing. I have been forced to think about everything I do. Do you know how many spoons people waste everyday? I don’t have room for wasted time, or wasted “spoons” and I chose to spend this time with you.”

Ever since this night, I have used the spoon theory to explain my life to many people. In fact, my family and friends refer to spoons all the time. It has been a code word for what I can and cannot do. Once people understand the spoon theory they seem to understand me better, but I also think they live their life a little differently too. I think it isn’t just good for understanding Lupus, but anyone dealing with any disability or illness. Hopefully, they don’t take so much for granted or their life in general. I give a piece of myself, in every sense of the word when I do anything. It has become an inside joke. I have become famous for saying to people jokingly that they should feel special when I spend time with them, because they have one of my “spoons”.

© Christine Miserandino

*We have English, Spanish, French and Hebrew translations of “The Spoon Theory” available.

You may NOT publish or re-print this article without the written permission of Christine Miserandino and ButYouDontLookSick.com. Thank you.

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  • sarahkreece

    It’s a great way of explaining things, although I personally prefer something closer to the model of the way energy is exchanged in healthy ecosystems – going out and coming back again. I’ve shared my perspective on how I think about spoons here http://skreece.wordpress.com/2013/12/16/everybodys-tired-dave/ 🙂

  • sunny77753
  • sunny77753

    Lyme disease?

  • sunny77753

    ever been tested for Lyme disease & co infections?

  • Kathy Dowdle

    I ran across this quite by accident, but it really does a good job of explaining what life is like for me! The woman who wrote this has Lupus, my doctor THINKS that I have some form of autoimmune illness, but the rheumatologists don’t consider me worth their time or effort, so we don’t know what that illness is. What we do know is that the cartilage in my spine and large joints has been deteriorating for years, and I have chronic pain. What ever it is, it has cost me 12 orthopedic surgeries, and foot drop on the right from one of the ruptured lumbar discs I suffered. I dragged that dead foot around with me as I worked as a bedside ICU nurse and then nursing professor for over 20 years! Always working 2 jobs and sometimes 3! I could deal with the back pain. That was before the pain became so bad I had to start rationing out my spoons. That happened about a year and a half ago after the 3 ruptured discs in my neck started causing me chronic arm and shoulder pain (2 surgeries fused my cervical spine, but apparently I have nerve damage now). The spoon Theory explains what it is like to be me. The only thing missing from the theory is the feelings of guilt I feel when I just don’t have enough spoons! I guess that is because I am relatively new at having to count my spoons! I can’t work now, because I don’t know from day to day if I will have enough spoons to take a shower and get dressed, and driving really costs me a lot of them. Since I have worked since I was 16, not working is hard for me, and having to turn down invitations to fun activities makes me feel guilty too!

  • Neverisa

    why would you need permission to add a link to this page in your book? You are pointing them directly here – I can see if you were reprinting the entire theory in your book – but a link? Do all of the blogsites that I see linking here also have to have permission to link??

  • Little Wings

    I am beginning the process to write a book also. I have Lupus. But I have known about the theory for about 3 years now a great explanation breakdown.

  • janie storer

    I am currently in the process of writing my first ebook….who do I need to contact to ask permission to add a link to this in the mentions at the back of my book ???? An amazing explanation. ..exactly how my many illnesses make me feel

  • Blys

    I have Fibromyalgia and the various issues associated with it. I first saw the spoon theory in my doctor’s office. It was just the theory not your whole story. It was like a light bulb going off. My husband was with me and I made him read it. We have talked about spoons to help him understand my energy level for any given day. Which in turn helps him understand when the vacuuming isn’t done when he gets home.

    My kids are 11 and 15 of course they don’t really understand what is going on with me. The other night they were complaining about the many chores they now have to do that I used to do. So I started to explain that I just didn’t have the energy to do those things. Then I dug out all the spoons in the silverware drawer and explained your theory. You could see their understanding grow. They still grumble about doing chores but not nearly enough and I make sure to thank them for allowing me to keep some of my spoons!

    Thank you for sharing your theory with the world!

  • Leslie Upchurch

    Thank you for sharing your knowledge of Ushers with us. I had never heard of it before. Hopefully you are educating a lot of people and bringing awareness to this illness. I am so sorry you have lived with these obstacles and wish you the best of luck. May God bless you.

  • Leslie Upchurch

    Grama, that is one of my very favorite scriptures. In fact, I once saw a special moments statue that represented it and have been trying to find one ever since. How blessed you are to have a loving, caring and supportive husband. I live alone. Sometimes I wonder, though, if maybe that is a blessing within itself. I have nobody to help me so I HAVE to get up out of bed and take care of myself and my beautiful little fur and feather babies. It keeps me going. Either way, God is with us and gets us through each painful moment.

  • Grama Lydia

    I am an RSD/CRPS victim too. Like so many who have responded, Christine’s story parallels how my body behaves – with a limited energy supply each day and no reserves for another. My husband must bring me coffee, then it takes 20-30 minutes before my pills “kick in” at all. My husband helps me bathe due to mobility limitations, and he helps dress me. He prepares meals and often has to cut my food up so I can eat. If I do attempt to cook, he helps to cut up vegetables/meats as my strength is so limited.

    Be it “spoons” or “beads” as I read in another commentary, this concept is an excellent way to explain to others why we cannot make long-term arrangements. At my age and stage of condition, I do not know if I can even get out of bed from day to day. Christine and others…know you are NOT ALONE!

    My lone hope comes from God’s word that promises in Revelation 21:4,5 from a newer English translation, “And he will wipe out every tear from their eyes and death will be no more, neither will mourning nor outcry nor pain be anymore. The former things have passed away.’ And the One seated on the throne said: “Look! I am making all things new.” Also he says, “Write, because these words are faithful and true.”

  • pippa

    after reading this story, my brother got me a necklace with a little silver spoonon it. so that i’ve always got a spare.. i have EDS (EHLERS DANLOS SYNDROME) and face chronic pain every day, along with fatigue, depression and many other things. spoonies give me hope. thank you xx

  • Cat Pieterse

    I can translate to Dutch for you.
    Since reading this theory the first time, it has become a way to tell my roommate I’ve had enough. It has helped me immensly. Thank you.

  • LisaBinKC

    PLEASE make this into a high quality video!

  • Amanda West

    Tears in my eyes. I always feel guilty for not having enough spoons to do for my husband and children. I work a full time job that is becoming increasingly more difficult for me and i go to school. This semester i have missed a lot of school due to feeling terrible. One professor has been very understanding. I have never been able to explain to anyone what my day to day is like. Now, I think it will be easier. Many thanks. I hope each day gives you many spoons.

  • Colin Hay

    That is so true. If you look at any illness that way it really highlights how hard it is for people to go on. My own difficulties are more emotional/mentally based so in theory, I’m a great worker and do well at my job but I use up a lot of my spoons just to keep myself going. A fantastic analogy

  • Little Debs

    Hi – I just love the spoon theory, I have a similar illness to ME, currently being re-invtestigated, as I was diagnosed with ME for three years and told recently I have been mis-diagnosed. However -I digress. I use the spoon theory to describe how I am feeling to friends and family – love it. But find carrying spoons a tadge heavy in my bag. So instead I have a bag of star shaped beads, I give them 12 and ask them to explain their day to me. It works fab – they are always left with loads at the end. Then I explain my day, of course I run out of beads. But then they ask “how can you spend the time with me then?” At that point I have a hidden heart bead, and say special friends deserve special time. This really gets the message through. Thank you thank you thank.

    I am a bit of a crafty making person and have decorated a few wooden spoons in rainbow colours which I then put over the top translucent glitter and put a small picture on the spoon head appropriate to the ME friend. I post it to them and attach a label directing them to this website. Sometimes, if energy permits along with a chocolate spoon too, all these extra spoons help. My friends tell me, when things are tough, they glance at their glittery spoons and just smile.

  • Sam Jones

    I really like the analogy used here… I have Asperger’s syndrome and dyspraxia, and whilst they manifest mentally rather physically, I find I can relate to this fairly well. Yes there are a few differences, for example the number of spoons I start the day with is incredibly variable, I may have so many that it seems I need not to worry about them, yet the next day I can struggle to find the motivation to get out of bed (not to mention that it’s sometimes possible for me to gain back spoons sometimes); and some tasks that use more spoons for a person with, say Lupus for example, use less for me, and vice versa. Even so this analogy works brilliantly for me – thank you. 🙂

  • thecyborgmom

    thank you for putting this into words…I only recently found this “theory” and will be passing it along to everyone who will listen. ~Katie

  • Kessa Englert Connan

    I have MS and Syringomyelia. I live my life with a few too many spoons as most of us do. I don’t always look sick (although sometimes I definitely do) and have had family who says things like “you won’t know if you can do it if you don’t try” when I know I don’t have enough “spoons” for the task. Thank you for putting this into eloquent words so that maybe our families and friends get a little piece of insight.

  • S. Williamson

    It would be great if you would give sizes of posters & then, I would order.

  • Annie

    I am 22 years old and am in the long process of receiving a lupus diagnosis. This brought tears to my eyes because like you I live like this EVERY DAY. I’m used to going a mile a minute and wondering why I paid for it heavily the next day. I miss not having to constantly plan ahead I miss being blissfully ignorant about my health but I miss being “normal” the most. Thank you for writing this it’s so validating knowing someone is out there just like you and that you’re not a hypochondriac

  • Lisa

    I was diagnosed with Chronic Fatigue Syndrome earlier this year, but I had been showing symptoms for the last year or so. Thank you so much for posting this. It is a great explanation of how we live.

  • Jacqui

    I live with ME and Fibromyalgia and this really speaks to me as well. In fact I have used this to try and explain my condition to others. Thank you so much for this.

  • ropertd

    I have Ushers Type 2. My field of vision is about 10% and I had cochlear implants on both ears. I’m 64 years old and was forced to retire early after 37 years with the same printing company. I am unable to find another job so I applied for, and got, early retirement and am waiting on SSDI.
    My hearing loss was discovered when I was in the 5th grade. That was bad enough. You miss so much when you can’t hear. My Retinitus Pigmentosa (RP) was discovered when I was in my early 30’s. My peripheral loss was so gradual that I didn’t notice.
    Ushers 2, the disease that affect the hearing and vision, is a recessive gene that can travel through generations unawares. When a man and woman carrying the same gene bears children chances are good that they’ll have the disease. It doesn’t affect every child. In my family of three boys, two have it and one doesn’t.
    I’m a little stubborn and don’t use a cane since I can see well enough to walk. The problem is people around me are not aware of this and often cut in front of me and then they look at me like I’m an idiot when I walk into them and say “Watch where you are going”. I tell them I can’t. Sometimes I feel like getting a T-shirt that says “Watch where I’m going”.
    Most people do not realize how dependent they are on their pheripheral vision. Remember the old swimmers goggle, especially the kind that has two eye pieces? Try running around doing your routine all day with that without breaking stride.
    RP comes in various forms. Some with hearing impairment which is Usher. Some people like me are fortunate that the deterioation has stabllize. Other’s are not so fortunate and will lose their vision entirely. The peripheral vision is like a cone. The closer to you the field narrow. Like right now as I’m typing these words, I cannot see the whole paragraph. If I go to a theature I have to sit way back in order to see the whole screen without moving my eyes around. When I work on projects with tools and I lay a tool down, I have to feel around it. If I drop something. I have difficulty finding it. I can’t drive so I’m dependent on people.
    Except for the cochlear implants, if you saw me on the streets, you’d never know I have this disease.

  • Madoka

    Thank you very much this also applies to late stag lymes disease

  • Andrea

    love love love love this story and way of explaining things! thank you thank you thank you!

  • As

    Love this theory. Thank you.

  • Stephanie Geary Galade

    This is a wonderful theory. I can never explain how it is to live with MS. When I read this I cried because this is so true. This is how we live. Put simply so other people who don’t live with these illnesses can understand. Thank you so much for writing your spoon theory. It is wonderful and is going to be very helpful. Thanks again!

  • Will Wells

    I recently had this article read to me by my wife on a drive in to see my social worker. Though neither of us are dealing with anything like lupus, we both suffer from chronic pain and depression. As well, I also fight PTSD on a daily basis. The way this process is explained really struck a chord with us, in that no matter how many times yoy say it, people just never really seem to understand. I was wondering if I could have permission to link this to the Military Minds page on facebook. I think it will help bring an understanding to more people.

  • Nancy Walton

    I also have degenerative disc disease and arthritis in my spine, ribs, and hips

  • Nancy Walton

    I found this on Tumblr. It fits my life so well. I have IC, Fibro., IBS, I have had breast cancer and am still feeling the effects of chemo and radiation, and I broke my back in March of this year. Using the spoon theory will help my mother, who is never in pain, understand what I am going through. Thank you for posting this. I pray it will work wonders for my family in understanding why it is hard to get things done around the house. I am on diability and have had a hard time getting out of my slump and working on cleaning the house. Now, with help, it might get done! Thank you Christine! You might just have saved my marriage.

  • Cheryl Foster Sikma

    Thank you for this explaination of a day with a disability. I think I will use the spoon theory.

  • Bailey Johnson

    My husband found this for me. I cried my eyes out as he read it to me because I can see my life in this. I have Fibro, nerve damage, migraines, and other associated medical BS that makes me feel my own body betrayed me. It’s been impossible for me to explain why I can or can’t do specific things without feeling like I’m making excuses, whining, or ‘being a baby’. My children have always been so kind and heartbreakingly understanding I can only do so much, and I feel I owe it to them to explain why I set up my days the way I do. This has helped me and my family so much. The Spoon Theory is simple enough my kindergartner gets it and accurate enough my teenager and adult family finally feel they can really understand why I act the way I do.

    Thank you so very much for your willingness to expose your life and soul to the internet to help others. Thank you for helping me feel better about myself. Thank you for helping my entire family. Just… thank you and God bless you. I pray you always have enough spoons to be happy.

  • N.

    Thankyou!!! I have RA and have mainly given up having a social life because most People don’t understand and get irritated when i have to leave early or Call and cancel. I will start using this. It’s a wonderfull way of explaining life. Again thankyou!

  • Grandma weber

    I too have CFS. 14 years into it, I can say the first three years were the worst as I tried to deny, fight and find someone, anyone who could help. I tried the best doctors in Cleveland to any and all alternative practitioners. I still listen to doctors and friends and family who have THE cure. I had to come to grips with what I can and cannot do. I would love to be able to just clean my floors! Oh, how I looked forward to spending retirement canning, and sewing and taking walks, traveling. I am done for the day if I take a shower. I also have chronic asthma and use a lot of my spoons using my nebulizer and dragging my oxygen tube around. Today is a day that I cannot even get out of bed. I usually use the analogy that the energy someone else uses to run up and down the stairs a few times is the energy I use to hold this old noggin of mine up. But and it is a big but, I have come to accept where I am, where God has put me. Being an A type personality, it is ridiculous how seldom I was really looking to see Gods will for me. Now I know being content and turning my life completely over to Him helps immensely. Not that I am not open to being healed, believe me how wonderful would that be? And today was harder than usual, physically and emotionally. It is so hard to not just jump in the car and drive to the store. Thank God for Amazon! Ok this used a lot of energy to write but I had to thank you for the spoon theory.

  • Jeff

    I have been wondering about this “Spoon” theory people are talking about. I hadn’t heard it before until I started reaching out to people who have the same struggles as I do. This is a perfect example of what it’s like. Thank you for your post.

  • monica champagne

    this is true! I did it 8 years ago and it worked! I had ‘leaky gut syndrome’ and ‘yeast overgrowth’ so badly that I couldn’t even crawl out of bed to fix a meal – I lived on kozy shk tapioca for years – I was also addicted to morphine for several years – I went to a clinic and dried out – then I got one of those books that have a list of illnesses and tell you what to take (herbal concoctions) and it worked – I forget what I took but the leaky gut and candida is GONE! God bless you all – >^..^<

  • Rachel S

    Wow, such a wonderful way to explain exactly how I feel. Thank you so much for giving me a way to explain my illness. Spot on!

  • Kansas Gal

    Thank you! May you always have an extra spoon. This theory is helping me so much right now. Even thinking the words are taking a spoon, but I am grateful for your sharing this. Thanks!

  • Sam

    I’m suffering bad with coming to terms with my chronical disease that I got diagnosed with 5 years ago. I’m wrecking myself entirely, not living the way I should and mistreating my body. This, the spoon theory… it’s so appropriate. And I also realize I’m starting each day with a minus of spoons. I’m burning the bridge in both ends. Thank you for helping me realize this. I feel inspired to do something about my life.

  • Michelle

    Wow. Just, wow. I was suffering with my regular night of insomnia and was on twitter when I read the term “spoonies”. I had no idea what it meant and googled it…which led me to this. I suffer with CFS/ME and Fibromyalgia (only for a short time in the grand scheme of things…about a year and a half now), and I just want to say THANK YOU for giving me a new way to explain my life to people! It’s so hard to explain or for people to really understand without seeming “whiny” or just making light of it. I will definitely be using this explanation from now on when I get the sighs and rolling eyes from friends/family when trying to tell them about not being able to do things that I once was. Amazing explanation. Thank you!

  • Victoria, Emre and Kaya

    Not true, not even close.

  • Leslie Upchurch

    I live with RSD. Your theory was given to me by a friend. As I read it, I began to cry. You were saying all of the things I have been feeling/living, while the rest of the world was oblivious. While my friends and family were oblivious. I have had a positive attitude and have chosen not to dwell on this illness that is trying so desperately to take over my life and my friends and family don’t have a clue what my life is really like. This is the first thing I have seen that makes me think maybe, just maybe, I can help them to understand. Thank you.

  • Lindy Peterson

    Thank you for sharing your creative take on living with chronic illness. I will use your spoon analogy as I try to explain living with almost constant migraines to my friends.

  • Kylie

    I was searching the web looking for ways to make my sisters life mor comfortable. She has Wegeners granulomotoses. I was after an ointment, magic herb… Something to soothe pain.. Now i know all I need to do is give her some of my spoons. All of them if I could. Thank you for your analogy to help those of us around know how we can help and what it must be like.

  • Marcie

    Lupus patients cannot eat alfalfa, it causes flare ups.

  • Marcie

    This is by far the best explaination of how I feel each day having lupus. I can’t wait to share this with my family. Thank you!!!! Keep spooning!!!

  • Carrie White Rader

    I have read this more than once…I just did not remember the whole story.
    I loved it the first time and I love it even more now.

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