The Spoon Theory written by Christine Miserandino

 

Please take the time to read Christine Miserandino’s personal story and analogy of what it is like to live with sickness or disability.

Click HERE to download “The Spoon Theory” in PDF format.

The Spoon Theory

by Christine Miserandino www.butyoudontlooksick.com

My best friend and I were in the diner, talking. As usual, it was very late and we were eating French fries with gravy. Like normal girls our age, we spent a lot of time in the diner while in college, and most of the time we spent talking about boys, music or trivial things, that seemed very important at the time. We never got serious about anything in particular and spent most of our time laughing.

Cartoon image of Christine Miserandino holding a spoon
As I went to take some of my medicine with a snack as I usually did, she watched me with an awkward kind of stare, instead of continuing the conversation. She then asked me out of the blue what it felt like to have Lupus and be sick. I was shocked not only because she asked the random question, but also because I assumed she knew all there was to know about Lupus. She came to doctors with me, she saw me walk with a cane, and throw up in the bathroom. She had seen me cry in pain, what else was there to know?

I started to ramble on about pills, and aches and pains, but she kept pursuing, and didn’t seem satisfied with my answers. I was a little surprised as being my roommate in college and friend for years; I thought she already knew the medical definition of Lupus. Then she looked at me with a face every sick person knows well, the face of pure curiosity about something no one healthy can truly understand. She asked what it felt like, not physically, but what it felt like to be me, to be sick.

As I tried to gain my composure, I glanced around the table for help or guidance, or at least stall for time to think. I was trying to find the right words. How do I answer a question I never was able to answer for myself? How do I explain every detail of every day being effected, and give the emotions a sick person goes through with clarity. I could have given up, cracked a joke like I usually do, and changed the subject, but I remember thinking if I don’t try to explain this, how could I ever expect her to understand. If I can’t explain this to my best friend, how could I explain my world to anyone else? I had to at least try.

At that moment, the spoon theory was born. I quickly grabbed every spoon on the table; hell I grabbed spoons off of the other tables. I looked at her in the eyes and said “Here you go, you have Lupus”. She looked at me slightly confused, as anyone would when they are being handed a bouquet of spoons. The cold metal spoons clanked in my hands, as I grouped them together and shoved them into her hands.

I explained that the difference in being sick and being healthy is having to make choices or to consciously think about things when the rest of the world doesn’t have to. The healthy have the luxury of a life without choices, a gift most people take for granted.

Most people start the day with unlimited amount of possibilities, and energy to do whatever they desire, especially young people. For the most part, they do not need to worry about the effects of their actions. So for my explanation, I used spoons to convey this point. I wanted something for her to actually hold, for me to then take away, since most people who get sick feel a “loss” of a life they once knew. If I was in control of taking away the spoons, then she would know what it feels like to have someone or something else, in this case Lupus, being in control.

She grabbed the spoons with excitement. She didn’t understand what I was doing, but she is always up for a good time, so I guess she thought I was cracking a joke of some kind like I usually do when talking about touchy topics. Little did she know how serious I would become?

I asked her to count her spoons. She asked why, and I explained that when you are healthy you expect to have a never-ending supply of “spoons”. But when you have to now plan your day, you need to know exactly how many “spoons” you are starting with. It doesn’t guarantee that you might not lose some along the way, but at least it helps to know where you are starting. She counted out 12 spoons. She laughed and said she wanted more. I said no, and I knew right away that this little game would work, when she looked disappointed, and we hadn’t even started yet. I’ve wanted more “spoons” for years and haven’t found a way yet to get more, why should she? I also told her to always be conscious of how many she had, and not to drop them because she can never forget she has Lupus.

I asked her to list off the tasks of her day, including the most simple. As, she rattled off daily chores, or just fun things to do; I explained how each one would cost her a spoon. When she jumped right into getting ready for work as her first task of the morning, I cut her off and took away a spoon. I practically jumped down her throat. I said ” No! You don’t just get up. You have to crack open your eyes, and then realize you are late. You didn’t sleep well the night before. You have to crawl out of bed, and then you have to make your self something to eat before you can do anything else, because if you don’t, you can’t take your medicine, and if you don’t take your medicine you might as well give up all your spoons for today and tomorrow too.” I quickly took away a spoon and she realized she hasn’t even gotten dressed yet. Showering cost her spoon, just for washing her hair and shaving her legs. Reaching high and low that early in the morning could actually cost more than one spoon, but I figured I would give her a break; I didn’t want to scare her right away. Getting dressed was worth another spoon. I stopped her and broke down every task to show her how every little detail needs to be thought about. You cannot simply just throw clothes on when you are sick. I explained that I have to see what clothes I can physically put on, if my hands hurt that day buttons are out of the question. If I have bruises that day, I need to wear long sleeves, and if I have a fever I need a sweater to stay warm and so on. If my hair is falling out I need to spend more time to look presentable, and then you need to factor in another 5 minutes for feeling badly that it took you 2 hours to do all this.

I think she was starting to understand when she theoretically didn’t even get to work, and she was left with 6 spoons. I then explained to her that she needed to choose the rest of her day wisely, since when your “spoons” are gone, they are gone. Sometimes you can borrow against tomorrow’s “spoons”, but just think how hard tomorrow will be with less “spoons”. I also needed to explain that a person who is sick always lives with the looming thought that tomorrow may be the day that a cold comes, or an infection, or any number of things that could be very dangerous. So you do not want to run low on “spoons”, because you never know when you truly will need them. I didn’t want to depress her, but I needed to be realistic, and unfortunately being prepared for the worst is part of a real day for me.

We went through the rest of the day, and she slowly learned that skipping lunch would cost her a spoon, as well as standing on a train, or even typing at her computer too long. She was forced to make choices and think about things differently. Hypothetically, she had to choose not to run errands, so that she could eat dinner that night.

When we got to the end of her pretend day, she said she was hungry. I summarized that she had to eat dinner but she only had one spoon left. If she cooked, she wouldn’t have enough energy to clean the pots. If she went out for dinner, she might be too tired to drive home safely. Then I also explained, that I didn’t even bother to add into this game, that she was so nauseous, that cooking was probably out of the question anyway. So she decided to make soup, it was easy. I then said it is only 7pm, you have the rest of the night but maybe end up with one spoon, so you can do something fun, or clean your apartment, or do chores, but you can’t do it all.

I rarely see her emotional, so when I saw her upset I knew maybe I was getting through to her. I didn’t want my friend to be upset, but at the same time I was happy to think finally maybe someone understood me a little bit. She had tears in her eyes and asked quietly “Christine, How do you do it? Do you really do this everyday?” I explained that some days were worse then others; some days I have more spoons then most. But I can never make it go away and I can’t forget about it, I always have to think about it. I handed her a spoon I had been holding in reserve. I said simply, “I have learned to live life with an extra spoon in my pocket, in reserve. You need to always be prepared.”

Its hard, the hardest thing I ever had to learn is to slow down, and not do everything. I fight this to this day. I hate feeling left out, having to choose to stay home, or to not get things done that I want to. I wanted her to feel that frustration. I wanted her to understand, that everything everyone else does comes so easy, but for me it is one hundred little jobs in one. I need to think about the weather, my temperature that day, and the whole day’s plans before I can attack any one given thing. When other people can simply do things, I have to attack it and make a plan like I am strategizing a war. It is in that lifestyle, the difference between being sick and healthy. It is the beautiful ability to not think and just do. I miss that freedom. I miss never having to count “spoons”.

After we were emotional and talked about this for a little while longer, I sensed she was sad. Maybe she finally understood. Maybe she realized that she never could truly and honestly say she understands. But at least now she might not complain so much when I can’t go out for dinner some nights, or when I never seem to make it to her house and she always has to drive to mine. I gave her a hug when we walked out of the diner. I had the one spoon in my hand and I said “Don’t worry. I see this as a blessing. I have been forced to think about everything I do. Do you know how many spoons people waste everyday? I don’t have room for wasted time, or wasted “spoons” and I chose to spend this time with you.”

Ever since this night, I have used the spoon theory to explain my life to many people. In fact, my family and friends refer to spoons all the time. It has been a code word for what I can and cannot do. Once people understand the spoon theory they seem to understand me better, but I also think they live their life a little differently too. I think it isn’t just good for understanding Lupus, but anyone dealing with any disability or illness. Hopefully, they don’t take so much for granted or their life in general. I give a piece of myself, in every sense of the word when I do anything. It has become an inside joke. I have become famous for saying to people jokingly that they should feel special when I spend time with them, because they have one of my “spoons”.

© Christine Miserandino

*We have English, Spanish, French and Hebrew translations of “The Spoon Theory” available.

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  • Synnastyr Kuhr

    This is the most brilliantly simple and concise explanation I have ever come across for anything. This message needs to be passed on to everyone.

  • Beth from TX

    Your explanation is awesome. I learned about this at an early age – my mom had severe Crohn’s disease and suffered immensely. She was a very gifted teacher who had to retire on disability. Crohn’s disease defined her life – making many of the choices for her. When she passed away at age 72, she had endured 22 abdominal surgeries & had 7 feet of intestine left. Through it all she was a shining example for me. I try to make a difference in someone’s life everyday in her honor – even if it is as simple as giving them a smile.

  • Essie86

    I am so proud of you….
    I am handicapped myself & I struggle with this every single day… Thank you so much for this!

  • Catherine Hendry

    I cannot even begin to express what I feel! This is absolutely AMAZING!! I suffer from GP/DTP and even attempting to explain this disease is worth 2 SPOONS!!! THANK YOU and GOD BLESS YOU!!!

  • Jean

    Somebody gave this to me several years ago when I was diagnosed with MS. I have been using it to explain ever since then. It is a brilliant and simple way to explain the almost unexplainable. Thank you!

  • Vicky

    I had to go through intensive chemo at 19, which compromised my immune system. I’ve been dealing with a laundry list of health issues since then, one of them being Congestive Heart Failure. While I can not compare my health issues to yours, your spoon theory definitely explains how I have to live my life. Unfortunately, I still try to push myself too hard to do the things I want to do and end up paying for it for days afterwards.

    Thank you for sharing your Spoon Theory.

  • aislingthecraic

    I come no where near to the degree of suffering as you, but I do now have a closer degree of understanding someone else’s moment-by-moment necessity to weigh their options against the reality of their illness, and the need to decide if the trade-off is worth the subsequent flare of symptoms. Your spoon analogy opened my heart and eyes. Well done.

  • Michael W Mercier

    Thank you, I might never understand, but at least I’m closer now.

  • Derick

    Dear Ms. Miserandino, you’ve provided a means for everyone who cares to learn and listen a means to share some understanding. This is not a small achievement. Restoring a sense of community is something scholars have puzzled at for years – yet you’ve provided not only the key, but the door and the path to it.

    Our various communities must improve communications so that understanding and compassion grows enabling the transmission of shared healing as well as cooperation. Hope and Action together, always work.

  • Derick

    The option to print a .pdf is provided above the Spoon Theory article. You can save that and print that anywhere. In case you missed the link above, it is copied here: http://www.butyoudontlooksick.com/tcS3_media/uploads/2010/02/BYDLS-TheSpoonTheory.pdf

    I can’t guarantee it’ll work though. It is much better if you just use the link provided above the article.

  • Denise

    Can’t print a copy ?

  • Amber

    I read this and thought, “OMG! So many people in my family need to read this so that MAYBE they could begin to understand what my husband goes through every day. He was diagnosed with Fibromyalgia about 15 years ago. Along with that, he has Ociptal nerve damage, severe nerve damage from a spinal tumor, chronic migraines with associated seizures, sleep apnea and depression. They just don’t understand how hard it is for him just to make it through the day.

  • Thirza

    That is such a great way of trying to explain chronical illness to someone who has Always been healthy. I for myself have been dealing with ulcerative colitis since 1997, and according to the doctors that has given me fibromyalgia (in ’04, which cost me my newfound job) and spondyloarhtropathy (this year, probably earlier).
    So yes, I can relate to what you are saying, Christine, and some of the other comments on this article.

    Thank you very much!

  • seashellshie

    I don’t know what to say except that I didn’t see me spending time with someone or anyone, that I am special in anyway, because anyone else can do that. I also appreciate your speaking about all the things we miss out on and how that hurts.

  • I just found your blog after finding out I have Lupus or MS {awaiting final results}
    thanks for having a way to help explain this to my family and friends.

  • Dragon06

    I always use this explanation. Thank you so much for putting it into a way that can be somewhat easily explained.

  • Patty O

    What an amazing and excellent way to explain illness! Thank you for finally making it clear and in words others may finally understand!

  • Beth Sheinberg Lynch

    Thank you Christine-this is so simple, yet says so much <3

  • Gina Dobyns Machen

    This is wonderful! Thank you, Christine!!!

  • kts89

    This is brilliant. Spoon theory is often talked about on Shakesville but I’d never read this article. Having depression, I know I have more spoons than many, but less than people without mental illness. The fact that it is an invisible illness makes things difficult as well. I always worry about being perceived as lazy or selfish for these acts of self care or self preservation. The idea of “borrowing spoons from tomorrow” really struck me as well, because I often do this and pay for it later. It sucks.
    Thank you for this post, I’m reading it at a point in my life where I really need and appreciate it.

  • Marika Adams Vangueety

    Awsome! I now have a way to explain what I go through!!!! Thanks! !!

  • char

    wow… this helps so much

  • Rachyl

    Thank you so much for posting this. I just love how you came up with the spoon theory. I had heard people reference the “Spoon Theory” on many occasions but never completely understood the story behind it. I suffer with Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome which can affect absolutely anything in the body, and with many secondary illness to the EDS, I can 100% relate to your Spoon Theory. Like Lupus there is no cure for EDS, they just treat the symptoms as best as they can which is a major impact on my life both physically and emotionally. I hope those without chronic illnesses will take the time to read this post so that they can truly understand what it is that we have to go through. I hope you are doing well and wish you all the best. Hugs!!

  • Mary

    This is absolutely brilliant – I don’t know what else to say. It’s just.. wow. Thank you so much for sharing this with us. Bless you.

  • Jenna Allen

    Thank you seems so small after what this story has done for me. Unshed tears fall freely to know that others truly understand what it feels like every day. Friends and family tell me I “look good” when they see me…but don’t understand how many Spoons I had to use to get there, stay there and get home. Thank you for giving words to my voice.

  • Amy Nell

    thankyou

  • Christa Sterken

    May I share this on my blog? I have fibro and CFS and I think it is such a beautiful illustration…

  • Rael

    My sister has a disorder that is slowly killing her and makes her more vulnerable and I wanted to thank you, because now I understand a bit better and I feel a bit closer to her… Thank you in the name of both of us..

  • Stephie

    Hello, can you help me? is it possible to re-print this article with your authorisation or do you know how to get this authorisation? it would help so many people here! thanks 🙂

  • Popi Koukaki

    I wish that everything goes well with you I have Fibromyalgia and now I shall look into Muscle Shortening Syndrome I have also had stage 2 breast cancer 18 years ago and I have been in remission since I wish people can understand It is hard especially when our family members do not make an effort to .

  • NancyS

    Thank you and God Bless you for explaining what was not explanable for me. Fibromyalgia, Chronic Fatigue, Muscle Shortening Syndrome, Degenerating bones (osteopieresis??), and now breast cancer. People just do not understand that working thru the pain sounds good on paper but they would not do it. Friends who stay in bed or recliner chair because they are ‘tired’ expect me to understand them but will complain if I mention being ‘worn a bit’. Thank you for helping.

  • Melanie Lightbourn-Rowe

    A doctor (yes, a doctor), once looked me in the eye and said, “You better not ever have children. You have Lupus, and it will kill you.” A few years later, I got married and wanted kids. I got pregnant with my first child against my doctor’s orders and shared the news with him. He immediately dropped me from his roster. “Can you do that?” I asked him. “I just did. I am not about to have a death on my record!”

    Wow. I was the healthiest I had ever been while pregnant. All vital signs were normal until I went into labor. And so, after two years of enjoying the most beautiful baby boy, I had another. I have not been treated for the illness in over 18 years because I believe in a God who is able to heal. I love your spoon theory. When a disease such as Lupus is known as a silent killer, it can not scream “Look at me!” This article brought tears to my eyes, but also allowed me to once again be thankful and grateful that through prayer, natural medicine and a belief in a healing God, I am doing exceptionally well. So while I have been given more spoons than others, I do not take them for granted. I will share this with others who will benefit with the hope that they will make a purchase to support your efforts to spread the word! Thank you!

  • Janet

    After over 20 years of an auto immune disease and the resultant exhaustion and pain when not in remission, I have to say that I LOVE this and only wish you could have written it 25 years ago! *lol* I had to just not care that no one could conceive of how I felt or understand why I had to say “no”….because I dropped my spoons once too often! Excellent post Christine!!

  • Karen M

    I live with CRPS, fibro and various neuropathies. Even though we have an excellent national health service (NHS) in England it is very difficult to access specialist pain services where I live. I’ve been trying to find a way of graphically explaining the pain and exhaustion to specialists and lay people for the 11 years I’ve lived with the conditions. Now the spoon theory will mean I don’t have to waste time and precious energy (a spoon of energy) trying to explain myself. Because it is thought-provoking the spoon theory is more likely to stick in their minds. A big thank you Christine.

  • Jaly

    I lived with lupus for probably quite a while and was diagnosed quickly about 5 years ago when I had a skin biopsy that suggested lupus. I just always thought I was just the way I was and lived with it. I recently changed rheumatologists after not going to a doctor for a couple of years now. Retelling my story of diagnosis and my recent symptoms to him made me teary. Because I don’t-look-sick, I often convince myself that I’m not sick. Facing it is the hardest.

  • Vincent Mc Evoy

    I think Christine that you may have a gift to become a psychologist as this one Theory of yours shows a brightness in you that could help many people as for myself I will start using this on people who say to me but you look so healthy and if I say it must be the pills they laugh and say can you get me some of them my reply is WHAT all 59 of them in on day + the odd trial one now and again they don’t see the pain one is constantly in , and they laugh and make a joke when I forget something they don’t see my brain cells dying but i am one of the lucky ones as my incurable illness has left me with a no worry syndrome of course when you say that the reply is OH I wish i had some of that ( do they really) for then what would they feel like when they cant remember who they are; where they live; and who is that woman sitting beside you ( that beautiful woman who you married and love so much , that woman who cares and looks after you even when you snap at her yes i must start carrying a lot of spoons around with me , Wonder what they will say then Oh go on it cant be as bad as that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Thanks so much for sharing your theory with us Christine and be as happy as you can be knowing sharing this has lifted so many of us . Many Thanks Vince .

  • Michelle

    Thank you so very, very much for writing this creative and well thought out description of living with a chronic and invisible health condition. I wept as I read this because it hit home so closely. I live with Chronic Fatigue Syndrome/fibromyalgia. This will even help me in thinking about my day let alone explaning it to others. Thank you.

  • Carrie Ann Mitchell Watson

    Thank you for this!! It is so hard for me to explain the pain and exhaustion I experience. I am about to start Benlysta. I am documenting the treatment on my own Facebook page. http://Www.facebook.com/lupusfightclub. I shared the link to this story. Please let me knowing that is not ok. I will remove it if you would like, but it is awesome. Thank you for what you have done! And even if you make me remove the link…please like my page. I too want to raise awareness!! 🙂

  • I’ve often wondered why we are called ‘spoonies’ now I know …Thank you. I never did think carefully about my day, even now with COPD added to the mix, my hubby has to remind me to manage my energy levels….I may feel ok but within a few minutes of doing something I can end up in bed sleeping the rest of the day. My hubby was taught this by the nurses that looked after me in ICU and palliative care. I can’t wait to see what he says after reading this. It’s amazing how many say ‘you don’t look sick’ or ‘you’re looking so much better’ when we have to be constantly conscious of the fact my next breath could be my last permanently.

    Bless you all.

  • jacqui Crawford

    Will show this spoon analogy to my family and friends to help them understand what my mum goes through everyday living/ existing with M.E. great story best wishes to Christine in her continued fight living with lupus. From Scotland

  • Mel

    Brilliant and touching, so much so i read all the comments as well! I am so going to adopt “spoons”; I have Parkinson’s disease and still coming to terms with it and its various guises, but chronic fatigue and pain are my daily potential buddies (spoon thieves!) alongside my tremor and uneven gait who are always with me and are more the slow smelters of said spoons; this is a great way for me to be able to describe how I manage my condition but also – once I’ve shared the analogy – give others an idea of my energy level with a visual cue…one spoon or two? Thanks to my boss (who has Lupus) that I have discovered this site and to you Christine that i have found a new language!

  • Tom

    What a fantastic explanation. For the past 15 months I have battled chronic fatigue and have never been able to explain how utterly drained I feel. The word ‘tired’ is such an understatement that people cannot fully understand, or annoyingly reply ‘tell me about it’ or something to that effect. It is not them being insensitive but it is impossible to explain.
    I used to play football and golf regularly and I’ve run 10km and half marathon races. This morning I had to take a break halfway through eating my cereal. In the past I have had to have a nap halfway through buttering a sandwich and sleep after doing one crossword clue. No-one who is ‘healthy’ can understand that.
    Hopefully reading this they soon will. Thank you.

  • Sarah

    Kitten:I have MCS and like you do more than one thing when I get up, but it does take spoons to do it. I look at it like this, maybe it only takes 1 whole spoon for some of us to do the 3 things. It’s still basically the same theory. I know for me, sometimes just breathing takes a spoon! For my MCS, each individual chemical exposure (say, 5 fragrances and 1 second hand smoke) adds 6 “boulders” for me to carry at the same time it takes 6 of my spoons.
    We still count our spoons one way or another!

  • kitten

    wow…this.was.so.interesting.to.read…….My.aunt.and.I….both.chronic.pain.suffers.used.to.have.our.own.spoon.theory,……along.the.same.line…..using.our.spoons.to.describe.our.energy.levels.to.each.other.and.to.save.our.spoons.[energy]……each.time.we.were.getting.up.we.would.wait.until.we.could.or.would.be.doing.three.things….like.fix.a.cup.of.coffee; go.potty; plus.one.more..etc
    my.Aunt.won.or.lost.her.battle.July 2.2009 … depends.how.you.see.it … she.saw.it .as .a .WIN ……. me.i.still.count.my.spoons.and.try.to.make.the.most.out.of.by.doing.3.things.when.i.get.up…..i.know.it.contradicts.your.one.spoon.one.action.theory…but.it.worked.for.us.for.many.years.before.,she.passed….

  • I love this so much. I was born with a heart & lung illness. I also have RA, TMJ, disk issue in my back… I’ve had over 25 surgeries. 5 being Open Heart. I have one lung, the other is now going down hill. I’ll be needing a heart & lung transplant. I’m not on the list now, but will be in a few years I’m guessing. Some days are easier & I start off with 15 spoons. Others, like today I only had 5. I’m going to share this with my friends & family. People have gotten upset with me when I say I’m tired, I can’t go out tonight. Even if it’s just out to dinner. They don’t get getting dressed means having to stand up, walk to your room, use energy to pick out what you want to wear, put it on, walk to the car, ect… I’m so jealous of others who can just do it without thinking. However, unlike you… I’ve always been sick. my 1st Open Heart Surgery was at 10 hours old. I have never known what it feels like to be healthy. I’m glad I don’t

  • Lil sprout

    Thank you for this great explanation, I’m giving it to my husband to help him understand what I go through daily. He tries to understand and not get upset, but when I never feel like going out he does get upset, because for the first 10 years we were together I never ran out of energy, now, we’ll its all I can do to function. My job as on Occupational Therapist takes a lot out of me too, but when I can help others it does make me feel better, which helps with the depression that goes along with these chronic illnesses.

  • Jeannie

    Finally I can get through to those significant others in my life what a day iny life is like. Thank you. x

  • Uhave2laff

    Best explanation of what it’s like to live a day in my shoes that I’ve ever heard. Thank you for putting it so eloquently!

  • Guest

    Thank you so much for writing this. I’ve heard many people many times refer to the spoons theory but never read the whole thing for myself before now. I have a few analogies of my own that have help me when I’ve been asked to explain how my lupus affects me. The one thing that bothers me the most is my constant chronic fatigue. I sleep so much all the time, that I truly believe I’m sometimes sleeping my life away. It’s too the point that I try to schedule everything for the afternoon. I have one doctor that i get asking with the staff every week and we joke all the time about if I’m going to be there on time. I only lived a half mile away but still couldn’tguarantee that I will make it to events before 11:30 a.m. so if I was down for any time earlier than that they almost knew that it was an error and to mark me as a no show.
    Lately I’ve been trying to do better with getting up earlier, I have my fiance call me every morning at between 9 and 10 a.m. to wake me up and stay on the phone with me to make sure I don’t just yes him and go back to sleep.
    It’s helps with not feeling so alone by having groups and site to go to and write and read about how I’m feeling and others.
    Heading hugs, positive energy, and lots of spoons.
    T

  • laura

    I have tears rolling down my face. This is such a good explanation of what it’s like to climb the mountains that everyday life now puts in our way! Today I’ve been up since 3am with my brain buzzing and inmy body in pain.
    I have a very close friend’s 30th birthday to go to in london I’m apprehensive as I know I don’t have enough spoons:. Say I have 10 spoons a day. 2 were taken away by my lack of sleep. 1 was taken by making tea and breakfast plus remembering to take the right meds 1 will be taken having a bath and another 1 getting ready. I’ll use another sorting lunch and taking my meds: 2 if it’s a hot lunch. Then I’ll use 1 getting a lift to London, 3 doing birthday celebrations, 1 eating afternoon tea. Then I have to get home alone on the train…and I’m out of spoons and scared about getting home. It will take me 2 spoons to get to kings cross. 1 to travel on the train and another 1 to get home from the station. I’ll be exhausted beyond belief and my hubby will have to help me home and to bed and make sure I take the right meds and don’t fall asleep wearing my glasses. This costs another 2 spoons. I’ve used all 10 spoons so am completely depleted. Yet I’m 8 spoons short. What do I do? Stay indoors and miss my friends special day or use all my spoons today and hope people understand and then also use my spoons for tomorrow and know I’ll be in bed all day? The later of course. Boom and bust! I don’t think I’ve finished a day with spoons ‘in credit’ yet. Unfortunately the loan sharks come calling when I overspend on my spoons in the form of much more severe ssymptoms.

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