It was a dream come true for me to personally meet Christine after reading “The Spoon Theory” a little over a year ago. It was one Sunday morning when my adult daughter, Carly carried in her laptop to the kitchen table where I was reading the Sunday paper and told me to read “The Spoon Theory.” A friend of Carly’s had posted a link on Facebook. After 15 years of being a caregiver to Carly, who has Crohn’s disease, reading everything I could get my hands on regarding her disease, going to therapists… “The Spoon Theory” was the thing that made the most sense to me. I knew the disease left her totally fatigued, but still couldn’t understand why she couldn’t at least make her bed or clean up her dirty dishes. I mean, really how hard is that? Thank you, thank you, thank you Christine for opening up my eyes. Now if I see Carly make her bed or do her dishes or anything else so unimportant, I get upset. It no longer bothers me to see this. In fact it makes me happy to know she is saving her energy for more important things.

            How did my meeting Christine come about? Well after reading “The Spoon Theory” my mind went wild. I had the idea of contacting everyone who knew Carly and asking them to send her a spoon for Christmas; for them to give Carly some of their abundant energy. I told them that they could have the spoon engraved, painted, decorated, whatever came to mind. I also asked that they write something to go with it, explaining why they would give some of their energy to her. When the spoons and messages started arriving, I made a binder with all the personal notes. The first few pages contained the letter I sent out explaining what I was attempting to accomplish and a copy of “The Spoon Theory.” I made a cover that said “Christmas 2009: Carly’s Spoons.” I didn’t want a spoon to lose its recipient, so I had each one engraved with the sender’s name. I purchased a long glass vase only about 4” tall and filled it halfway with pebbles. I typed the messages, glued them on the back of fake leaves, twisted the leaves around the stem of the spoons and put them spoon up in the container, like a bouquet of spoon flowers! I was so excited about this project. My only hope was that Carly would be as touched as I was.

I spent Thanksgiving visiting out of town family and received many of the spoons from them. One niece totally blew me away. First of all, she was the last one I would have thought to participate. Not only did her teenage daughter draw on it with markers with the colors of the rainbow, the note that accompanied it will be cherished forever. She told the story of how her and her mother (my husband’s sister) was sitting together on the couch watching commemorative footage of the 9-11 tragedy. She said to my niece, “They talk about heroes today but I think our family hero is Carly. With the pain and suffering she endures everyday and she keeps up her morale. She’s our hero.” My sister-in-law passed away several years ago. I may not have ever known how she felt had I not done this project. It meant so much to me. Christmas Eve came and Carly unwrapped the book I had made. Reading the cover, she looked up at me with that look of, “what have you done now?” She looked at the first few pages. She got teary-eyed and said she would have to look at the rest of it later. Then I gave her a wrapped box. I pulled out the vase containing over 50 spoons! Carly started sobbing. I gave my husband the thumbs up. It went over exactly how I had hoped.

One of Carly’s closest friends works for the Lupus Foundation in Charlotte. She told Carly about their annual summit with the keynote speaker: “the spoon theory lady”. OMG we were going to be there! Oh no, here I go again, brain working overtime! I needed to do something special for Christine for what she has given me. I Googled, “giant silver spoon” and found a four foot spoon at Pier 1 Imports. I had the handle engraved with “’The Spoon Theory’ by Christine Miserandino.” I engraved bowl part with “Presented with grateful appreciation for ‘The Spoon Theory,’ which stirred long overdue understanding of the daily energy level required to battle chronic illness.”

We drove all the way from Virginia, straight from work the night before the event. The morning of the event we kept watching for Christine to make her entrance. Finally I spot her. At long last, we approach and introduce ourselves. She is happy to meet us. I ask for five minutes, for her to come to our table. I give her the giant spoon. She sees her name engraved on the top, I lift it higher for her to read the rest. She starts fanning herself and tells us we can’t do this to her before she is getting ready to give her presentation. She was truly touched. I told her how much her “Spoon Theory” has meant to me. Even though she has over 20,000 Spoonies, if her story even made a difference to only one person–like me–it was worth it!

It is especially hard for Carly to even leave the house, especially to travel long distances, let alone have enough energy to do so. Meeting Christine and going to this event meant a great deal to both myself and Carly! As Christine says in “The Spoon Theory,” people should feel special when she spends time with them, because they have one of my “spoons.”

Thank you Christine for being such an important part of my life. You will not be forgotten and will be forever in my heart!

Love, Mary Jo (Carly’s Mom)

Bio: Mary Jo has been the primary care-giver and supporter of her chronically ill daughter, Carly, for the past 15 years. She’s cleaned up all kinds of fluids, set up feeding tube pumps in the middle of the night, and even literally slept on the floor of hospital rooms. She once spent 3 straight months in the hospital with her daughter! A “Martha Stewart” type, her “hobbies” include washing dishes, making beds and ironing – even jeans!.