Sick Humor: The top ten worst suggestions commonly given to someone with a chronic illness

 

Sometimes you just gotta have a sense of humor!


The top ten worst suggestions commonly given to someone with a chronic illness:
1)Have you tried holistic options? (many. I’ll bring it back up with my doctor on my next visit, thanks.)
2) Could it be your stress? (My opinion is, it is my illness. I’ll bring it up with my doctor though, thanks.)
3) Could it have to do with the altitude? (I’ll bring it up with my doctor…thanks.)
4) I read in {insert any generic magazine here} about a new medication. Have you heard about it? (I was on it when it came out 17 years ago. but I’ll bring it up with my doctor. thank you.)
5) Have you thought about being in a trial study? (I’ll ask my doctor. thanks?)
6) WOW. If I were you, I don’t know what I would do. I might just kill myself. (Thanks?)
7) Have they found what is causing the problem? (no. my doctor is an idiot. I’ll remind him, thanks!)
8) Have you tried hypnosis? (I’m still sick, but when the phone rings I bark like a dog.)
9) Have you googled your illness? (….no! thanks!)
10 Have you ever thought you were getting sick because you haven’t wrapped your house in aluminum foil because, you know, the aliens have been bugging our houses for the past 30 years and in some cases, making people really sick. I read on…..gee I lost the web site. but it’s true! I heard it from Sally’s cousin’s sister-in- law. And then every time you use deodorant you would think you would be warding off these bugging rays, but it still makes it worse, so you are not being pro-active to your health by wearing that deodorant. I can’t believe you! If you wanted to get better you would stop wearing deodorant..(voice gets fainter and fainter the further you just walk away.) THANKS!!!!!!!!!!
Article written by Amy-Beth Maran , © 2007 butyoudontlooksick.com

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  • Cindy

    Having been forced by RA to retire in my 40’s from a career I LOVED, I hear: “What do you DO all day?” and “Don’t you get bored?” No, actually I find I barely have enough time in the day to make Dr. appointments, keep Dr. appts, go to physical therapy, meet with surgeons, order medications, pick up medications, take medications, injections, etc., go to the lab for bloodwork, go for x-rays, go for MRI’s, call the insurance co. to find out why they won’t pay, call medicare…..no I’m really not BORED! or “You’re LUCKY you don’t HAVE to work!” Really? I’ll have to re-think my whole perspective on RA….guess I never looked at it that way! or “I have a sore knee, (shoulder, ankle, etc.) but I HAVE to work through the pain…I have BILLS ya know” Oh, ok. I used to have bills too, but being lucky like I am, they vanished when I sold my house and a whole bunch of other things. With what I get from my disability check I AM lucky….lucky I have a roof over my head and a meal a day! And my favorite, from a doctor, when I asked if there would be much pain after a surgery….”Welllllllllll…….you probably have a high tolerance for pain by now……” Well, THAT was comforting…..argh! Oh, and I do particularly love that “Come on grandma” quip. How clever! Makes me feel SO much better, can’t wait for our next outing! On the other hand, I did FINALLY hear a comment that actually didn’t pi*s me off, from the receptionist at my dr’s….”I wish you felt as good as you look, because you really don’t look as sick as you are” After struggling with shower, clothes, hair and makeup for 2 hours I took that as a complement. Aren’t we always trying to not look as crappy as we feel????

  • MiniMorg

    Some of these come backs really brightened my day and made me laugh 😀
    Some of the sheer stupidity from others also made me smile while others made me angry.
    I suffer from Fibromyalgia and ME. I’m 23 and can also relate to “But you’re so young”
    “Just have a shot of caffeine you’ll feel much better”
    “Come on grandma” (when I’m walking slow)

    Reading these has cheered me up big time 😉

  • jenny

    @ Vicky…yeah men really make everything sooooooo much better lol…..gotta love some peoples responses caue it’ illegal to kill them lol…Huggs

  • Vicki

    Love it!!! some people are so clueless!! I have major depression and it was getting worse and so i went off to the doctor, he said why was it getting worse? I said i don’t know and he said – “yes you do!!!” (I still have no idea!) he then proceeded to tell me i needed to get a man and get a life!

  • Lori

    I love the comments about being too young to be sick…I’m 47 and I take 34 pills a day…I walk slower than my 86 yr old dad! I have had 7 surgeries, 3 more to come. I have fibromyalgia, osteo-arthritis in both knees, trigeminal neuralgia, plantar fasciitis, migraines, narcolepsy just to name some of them! I lost my job at a “Christian” daycare because I missed too many days due to health issues. The only part of that place being “Christian” was that it was held in a church. I was kicked by a child 3 times in the stomach (once right after surgery) but according to the director “a 4-yr old doesn’t know what they are doing.”….um, yes they do…because I have a 4 1/2 yr old! It took them over a year to finally demand that the parents find another daycare.

    Boy, I could go on and on, but right now I am exhausted.

  • jenny

    Lately I’ve been under a lot of stress and have MANY bruises and black hematomes coming out……I keep being told to be careful of what I bump into and watch where I’m going….ya think? If i was actually able to bump myself in some of the places I’m getting them I’d be the world’s most flexible person lol.
    Also have gone from hearing ‘you’ve gained weight(due to steroids) to …are u eating enough?’ ……geeze

  • GA Peach

    What topped the cake is when I told my old (fired her) Neuro about the pain in my legs getting worse and she said “You know, it’s not like you have Cancer” I told her she had no right to speak to me like that (she knew my Mom died of Cancer).

  • Nickey

    OMG! I love this….

    I have Primary Progressive Multiple Sclerosis, Fibromyagia along with many other things.

    Before I was diagnosed and found my wonderful team of Doctor’s I actually had several doc’s look at me and say things like:

    Well you are a little over weight and your neck is stiff you need to exercise more (at the time 28 now 32) that is why when you bend your neck down you get an electrical shock all through your body and lose all sensation in your arms, hands, legs, feet and other parts of your body. You mean to tell me all these years while I was fit and very active that it was b/c I was over weight these things are happening OH MY GOD WHY DIDN’T I THINK OF THAT. Let me go run a little and the drop over for a couple days.

    The next doctor “well I don’t know what these symptoms are it sounds to me it’s all in your head and you are a drug seeker and way to young to be sick I will no longer treat you but if you just HAVE to see a neuro here is a recommendation”

    I went through many doctor’s saying things like this so finally I get to see a Neurologist oh and by the way I had emergency brain surgery when I was 17 so lets not take that into consideration. So finally I get to the Nero and he is doing all the same things finally I got fed up and grabbed his face and said:

    “YOU ARE GONNA STOP AND LISTEN TO ME B/C I AM SICK OF DOCTORS NOT LISTENING TO ME…I KNOW MY BODY AND SOMETHING ISN’T RIGHT NOW SHUT UP AND LISTEN”
    he looked at me like I was nuts but I got his attention and after I explained my symptoms his eyes were huge and he looked at me and said “Does MS run in your family?” I almost fell off the table b/c I knew right then I finally had an answer even without the test and before the diagnosis.

    So now I am 32 and I still get the:

    But your too young to be sick (well all be damned why didn’t I think of that and was I too young at 17 when they gave me 6 months to live and had to have emergency brain surgery)

    Why do you have green circles under your eyes you haven’t done anything to make you tired ( ahhhhhhhhhhh I don’t even know how to respond to that one)

    Oh come on your a stay at home mom to a wonderful little boy you should be so thankful you don’t have to work like me, God I am so tired at the end of the work day. ( yes I love being able to stay at home with my son BUT I HAVE LOST SO MUCH OF MY INDEPENDENCE AND YES YOU IDIOT I WOULD LOVE TO WORK TO BE ABLE TO GET OUT AND DO SOMETHING WITHOUT FEELING LIKE SOMEONE SHOVED A HOSE UP MY BUTT AND SUCKED ALL THE ENERGY OUT OF ME)

    And for all of you who like me has had to deal with stupid doctors just remember this, something my mother shared with me. God I love my mom…..here is what she told me:

    “What do you call a doctor who graduated at the bottom of there class?” I don’t know mom, what? “A doctor” LMBO how true that is. Thank God I am done with the bottom of the class doctors

    I just don’t understand you were so active racing bikes, riding atv’s along cliffs in the mountains, jumping atv’s over huge jumps, played every sport known to man kind and your only 32 what happened? You used to go to the gym are you sure it’s not just feeling sorry for yourself and it’s all in your head….Well as a matter of fact it is in my head ALL OVER MY BRAIN AND SPINAL CORD AND NERVES THROUGH OUT MY BODY…Would you like to see my poc a dot MRI scans…we can get some crayons out and connect them if you would like.

    I actually got bombarded in a grocery store with my therapy dog to the point I was balling. One guy said ” YOU KNOW I HAVE TO SHOP HERE AND A DOG IS JUST NASTY IN A GROCERY STORE” I used to work with that guy. He tracked me down in the store a few min’s later and was trying to apologize and I told him to get out of my face that he disgusted me that a human being would be so ignorant and unsympathetic to a fellow human being with a dog and a cane in a store YOU IDIOT WHY ELSE WOULD I HAVE A DOG IN A STORE….

    I could go on and on like so many of us could but now I live my life in my home and only getting out when it’s time to see the doctors which is every week.

    Many hugs and prayers and love from Minnesota to all who have to deal with any type of illness.

  • Sarah B

    Loving the “maybe it’s all in your head” comments I get from the occasional idiot.

    Um, it’s MS…so technically speaking, it IS all in my head. Duh.

  • Annette

    I once had someone tell me “just be grateful it (SLE) is not fatal.” Oh really? My sister died of complications of lupus, and I myself have nearly died twice (comas with kidney, lung and heart failures.)

    So what were they really saying? (I just had to ask.) Embrace all your problems and pain because at least you know you are alive.
    WTH??

  • JustDuckyInNE

    This is my second read through the list and everyone’s comments and I’ve enjoyed them both times. I’ve decided to share some of my experiences.

    Fluppy, after a run-in with someone, my grandfather always said to one of us with a heavy shake of his head, “It’s a good thing people get crazy in the head because if they got it in their feet, they couldn’t walk!” Now that I use several anti-depressants, pain meds, etc., that takes on even more meaning and I get a bigger kick out of saying it to my family.

    Good article and great comments from everyone; I’ve heard all of those cracks from people with mistaken motives. My favorite is still my Mom’s adamant statement that “If you feel that bad, just get in there and scrub the kitchen floor! You’ll feel much better!” *sigh* I know she meant well but the number of times it was repeated left a scar that is still healing in my hide (she’s better about it since my heart attack).

  • Carly

    “did you know you can get arthritis from cracking your knuckles?”

    oh yeah? i’ll let my immune system know!

  • Stephanie E

    I get told ” You got to eat better and sleep better ” I say thanks I’ll tell the doctor and others with becets thats all we need to do ! People don’t realize some meds make u feel sick and last thing u want is food or colitis is so bad food goes right through u .I sleep when my body tells me too ! some days I have insomia so bad I can’t get any .

  • CymryCat

    writergirl04-

    I wasn’t diagnosed with the fibro when I first started having symptoms … I was diagnosed at the age of TWELVE with OSTEO-Artirits. (HUH? Since when does a 12 yo get wear on their bones/joints without it affecting their growth plates? And it can’t have disrupted my growth plates since I have an inseam of about 32″ and am 5′ 8 1/2″)

    I understand the “Oh, you’re so YOUNG!” being grating! I lived through it with the “arthritis” and “growing pains” and then the dx with psoriasis and THEN … and THEN … *sigh* I still get it as in “you’re so YOUNG to be complaining so MUCH!” “I didn’t have that many aches and pains until I was in my 60’s/70’s/80’s” Soo … I stopped complaining. I had a close friend who upon hearing “I’m fine” would get a bit confrontational and tell me “NO! Tell me how you’re REALLY feeling!!” He died last year at the age of 45 of colon cancer that wasn’t dx’d until it was stage IV+ and was in his liver, stomach and behind his left eye.

    I also know what you mean about people spitting out worst case scenerios. (and what others are complaining about in regards to the depression that inevitably accompanies the invisible illnsses) In one way, I am a subscriber to the belief that SOME cases of fibro are actually “MS Light” since I (and others that I know with this diesease) have more symptoms that fit MS yet still have a majority of the 18 tender points with fibro. I have a friend who does have MS and I understand her struggle to a degree.

    The thing that gets me is the RHUEMATOLOGISTS who have told me that I MUST get out and exercize ie – WALKING (even with 2 forms of arthritis in my hips, knees and ankles) as this is beneficial to people with fibro.

    Or “Don’t take naps during the day since that will disrupt your sleep at night” (while I had an INFANT). Um yeah … I have slow sleep insomnia regardless of whether I’ve had a nap or not. I’ll take my sleep when I can get it, thankyouverymuch! If the pre-schooler collapses for a RARE nap during the day I’m putting him in my bed and crawling in next to him so I can get some rest. *sigh* I actually have too many stupid comments from others to have room for them all. I DO know that in terms of doctors … they work for ME. I PAY THEM to help keep me as healthy as I can be so when they’re being turds or ignorant I FIRE THEM.

  • writergirl04

    Ok – a little different than what we’ve been talking about – but how about when you tell someone about your condition and they immediately spit out a story about how someone’s sister’s brother’s uncle’s step son’s aunt had that disease, and they are in a wheel chair, or better yet – dead. WHAT IS THAT?! I get that people are trying to be supportive, and want to make you feel like they understand, but really?! Of course people can’t really win with me because when they tell me some rosy story about how someone they know has MS and are doing great (about 1 year before I was diagnosed with lupus – my dad (at 59 years old) was diagnosed with MS) drives me nuts too – because I wish that were the case for my dad.
    UGH!

  • fluppy

    Thanks for your support guys. This site is absolutely amazing. Heard another one the other day – not new, but my response was…

    “It’s all in your head” (well of course it is – why do you think the chemicals in my brain are imbalanced. If the chemical imbalance wasn’t in my brain and somewhere else in my body, then it wouldn’t be all in my head now would it?!)

    Priceless look on their face – like a goldfish actually – opening and then closing as they thought better of whatever it was they were going to say!!!

  • Lindsay

    My sister has fibromyalgia (quite severe) and her doctor has said, “I’m taking you off your pain medication because when you are completely off them, you will feel so much better!” Um, yeah, since when does coming off pain medication make your pain go away??? Furthermore, he has suggested since she is in so much pain during the weaning process, she should get out more during the day and do things – currently, she is in bed 24/7 as she can no longer walk due to pain. Some days are so bad, she cannot even turn the page in her book.

    My favourite however is my grandmother’s answer to EVERYTHING!! Just go for a walk! Unbelievable!

  • Writergirl04

    Wow – I needed this today. Thanks to all of you – many of them are sooo familiar. One of my most frequent – “Oh but you’re so young” (insert sad, feel sorry for you face).
    I’m 29 – was diagnosed with Epilepsy at 18 and have had 2 brain surgeries. I’ve had 4 other major surgeries, several back procedures for a herniated disc and just recently was diagnosed with Lupus.
    The worst is “it could be worse”. I want to say, “Really? Maybe that is true but I’m not going through the other stuff and what I’m dealing with still sucks.” Grrr.
    Thanks all for the laughs!

  • CymryCat

    “But you were doing great a month/week/day ago” … Yeah, constancy is the hallmark of the myriad of diseases I have.

    “But I’ve never heard of psoriatic arthritis” … Trust me, when your auto-immune disease gets into your joints it is NOT a pretty feeling!

    “Why didn’t you have at least one more child? Don’t you know it’s easier when they can entertain ech other?” Um, yeah; how exacly do I get to the point where they can entertain each other without having the second one go through infancy, exactly? My husband saw what having ONE did to me and we decided to be very happy to have him.

    “You walked just fine into the grocery store, why do you need a handicapped placard?” You haven’t seen me walk back to my vehicle yet after shopping, have you? Or noticed me leaning heavily on the handle of the shopping cart to keep weight off my legs.

    “How can you have an auto-immune disease AND Chronic Fatigue Immune Deficiency Syndrome?” My immune system doesn’t recognize my own body and is so busy attacking my skin and joints that it doesn’t have anything left to fight the common cold/bronchitis/the ‘flu/whatever else comes down the pike.

    “Wow, are you REALLY sick with all those things? I would just give up.” Um, thanks? Giving up is a daily fight for me.

    “Why can’t you keep your house clean AND take care of your pre-school age child? You’re home all day. You must just be lazy.” Before I became sick this last time, I walked/hiked all the time, kept a clean house, worked 48+ hours per week, stayed up late with my boyfriend every night of the weekend as he played music at bars … Most people with Fibromyalgia and Chronic Fatigue Syndrome USED to be type A+ personalities. But when doing the everyday things entirely exhausts you to the point that you might wind up in bed for several days just because you did ONE thing extra, you learn to prioritize.

    “If you just got out of the house and drove places/visited your loved ones you’d feel better.” Driving into town (20 minutes one way) is about the best I can do twice a week. That’s when my agoraphobia doesn’t cause me to limit WHEN I drive. Driving farther (like to a friend’s house an hour away) will cause me to IMMEDIATELY need to spend 2 days recovering. Then once i get home I’ll need ANOTHER 2 days to recover.

  • Needspoons

    Oh, geez, this all sounds so familiar. I love all of you. Gentle hugs all around.

    If you’d only….

    Force yourself to ….

    Stop thinking that you’re depressed, it’s all in your head (yes, you’re right, I never thought of that!)

    Take some ….., it helped my mothers cousin’s sister’s aunt (more quackery, I’m sure)

    Just get out more, the sunshine will lift your mood. (oh is that all depression is, lack of sunshine? Don’t forget the panic attacks I get going out, that I come back in like a soaked towel, dripping with perspiration for reasons I still can’t fathom, and don’t forget my painful legs.)

    I have arthritis in more spots than I can count, depression, social anxiety, and get frequent panic attacks; and on good days, I walk a few blocks, or on a REALLY good day, I can go to the mall, but I’ll be exhausted the next day, and useless to myself. My spoons are shot to hell, and then some.

    I’d like to make sure that I at least have the energy to roll out of bed in the morning, and shower. Getting out and about is nice, but taking a shower, and having the energy to make and eat breakfast is great. I’m so tired of having to choose one thing, and let the other slide.

  • StrangeAngel

    Some variations on the “You just need to push yourself/You’re not getting enough exercise” comments:

    “Oh, believe me, I know exactly how you feel. And if I didn’t make myself walk 2 miles a day– even though it hurts!– I’d be as stiff and lethargic as you are. But I just MAKE MYSELF work through the pain!”

    OR

    “You think YOU’ve got problems? Just think what it’s like to try to put my shirt on in the mornings with this shoulder of mine. I never had any problems at all until I turned 80…”

    OR

    “If you’d just pretend you’re not sick, it will go away. Act like you feel GREAT!! Just keep telling yourself, ‘I feel fabulous!’ and pretty soon you will!!!”

  • Amanda

    Most WTF comment: I wish I had Crohn’s so I could be skinny like you.

    If my hair wasn’t already thin from years of malnutrition caused by scarred intestines, I’d be pulling it out over that comment.

  • momlwt

    Fluppy

    I have a son with aspergers as well as more health issues than I care to mention. Lets just say that we fooled the doctors who told me when he was 6 weeks old to take him home and let him go easily in his sleep because there was no way he would see his first birthday. I fought and though he is still not great (facing major surgery in a few weeks) he is 14 years old and thankfully hyperfocuses on math which so far has won him a lot of awards.

    No matter what anyone may think you are special in so many ways that someone who may be “normal” can’t even come close to. I know our family is constantly blessed by my son and I have had others approach me to share how just by being himself he has reached them in some way.

    As for the others I love it LMAO. I have Fibromyalgia, migrains, arthritis and gastroparesis to name a few. Sometimes it is a case of laughing at the others around us and even at myself is all I can do. It is either laugh or cry.

    Definatly nice to see others are bombarded with some of the silly things I hear from people. I just thank God that my mom has similar health issues (not thankful that she is ill of course) so both of my parents get it and my dad has been able to help DH get it as well.

  • Bec_T

    Fluppy…

    so true, I am the mother of a high functioning Autistic boy, 11….
    and I get the “oh but he talks” comments…. YES but had you noticed he never stops. or that he sticks to the subjects that interest him – lights, clouds, cars…. etc?

    As the mother of a child with a disability, I get the “will he grow out of it?” comment… umm I would LOVE that, but not likely, he will just learn how to manage and cope with his lot… What about you, will you grow out of Foot in Mouth anytime soon?

  • Atreju

    your not insignificant to me fluppy, i love you

  • Fluppy

    Oh and here’s another one:

    ‘Wow. I wouldn’t have ever known had you not told me – you hide it so well that you seem pretty normal to me’ (that’s because of the endless allied health professionals that I see every 2 weeks and the endless amount of therapy that goes on behind closed doors)…

    After 27 years of this therapy is it any wonder I have become adept and a complete expert at ‘pretending to be normal’. Nevermind the enormous amount of energy it takes for me to do so and how often I crash and just sleep because I am so physically exhausted from living day-day…

    ‘Well, it could be worse – you could have leukeamia or cancer’

    Yes, I’m well aware that it could be worse – which is why I appreciate each and every day so much. But thank you for reminding me that people are much worse off then me – now I feel even more insignificant…

  • Fluppy

    I have Asperger’s Syndrome (a form of autism that affects my ability to communicate effectively & screws around with the way I sense and process the world around me)…

    …’But you can talk to me just fine’ (that’s because it’s you and not a bunch of people)

    …’You articulate yourself so well – you couldn’t possibly be autistic – you get along with so many kids’ (that’s right – ‘kids’ – I am 32 though & have only just started learning how to make & keep friends’)

    …I don’t see you rocking in a corner (you don’t see me at home in my own space then do you)

    …you’re so intelligent – (yes, so are you – which is amazing because you seem to be really stupid right now while you are ignorant…)

    Some comments genuinely are well-meaning, but are sooo not what you want to hear. I am not always this bitter, but some days are tougher than others and today was just one of those days…

  • Tami Brotosky

    Oh this article is priceless! I love #5 and on. That last one is a hoot. Thanks for tickling my sense of humor.

  • Dan

    You’re the healthiest sick person I know. (from a co-worker who doesn’t realize what it is like to suffer constant cramping and diarrhea from colitis or having monthly IVIG infusions to fight cvid.)

  • Gilda

    My favorite is when a doctor tells me I am overweight. (I gained 70 pounds from SSRI’s, and developed life-threatening mania). I want to say, “Really? I’m overweight? How did you figure that out? Gosh, that medical school education sure comes in handy!”

    Any idiot can look at me and see I am fat. It’s disheartening when even the supposed professionals are card-carrying idiots.

  • Rose

    I was told from the beginning the it was my attitude or lack of activity that caused my joint pain and fatigue. I have to point out that if I go out running or what-not, I will be bedridden the next day. Not to mention unsmiling…

  • Melina

    It’s my first time posting here after finding “the spoon theory” today. It’s such a relief to hear from people who understand exactly how I feel, after a lifetime of illness and fatigue. (FM, hypothyroid, anemia, who knows what else?) I don’t get a lot of stupid comments, since like an above poster, I long ago gave up explaining, partly because it’s taken me years to even know what’s making me so sick and tired, and because I hate to endlessly complain. I also know I confuse people by my endlessly-changing list of symptoms and vague illnesses.

    On the one hand, I do know that being misunderstood and labeled as lazy or not-trying is worse than being ill. On the other hand, I do think that some of these comments are coming from kind, non-judgmental people who can’t think what else to say. I’ve even made a few of these comments myself to chronically ill people, trying to be helpful. I do think that no matter how annoying the comment, motivation is important. Is the person being critical and judgmental? Or do they actually care and don’t know what else to say? Just my two cents.

  • AKAseemedfine

    Hello and THANK-YOU to all- Hope I’m not too late to get in a comment; but I’m so inspired and also relieved to hear the SAME garbage that I get–
    LEILA, hon- I thought I was THE ONLY ONE who got the : “YOUR HOUSE SHOULD BE SPOTLESS” & “You ‘GET’ to stay home ALL DAY, and You DIDNT EVEN MAKE YOUR BED”???!
    In truth- that’s the LAST thing I might do, even on a ‘GOOD’ day! If I have 20 minutes of energy after a shower- or even Half A Spoon- I will straighten up the only room anyone will see if they stop by, even then the barest minimum; moving the junk off the only extra chair! 🙂 LOL. I USED to be the ‘Clean Freak’ so trust me…I know what my house looks like now. But if I am having one of my FEW ‘good’ days, WHY WASTE IT cleaning when I can finally hobble outside and see the sunshine?! Gentle hugs and blessings to you all. You’ve made my day!

  • Eric Fink

    Between my self, my wife and my sons- chronic back, scoliosis, degenerative knees, depression, bi-polar, diabetes, etc. Etc. ad nausium. and with all the helpful suggestions, comments and “cures” from well meaning folks with no idea of reality. From doctors without an iota of sense when it comes to pain management my family has been subjected to every crack pot theory and “cure” there is. I wish that the people with all these ideas would have the common scense to stop being helpful and allow those of us with the problem to live our lives as well as we can. JUST ACCEPT US AS WE ARE!! DONT TRY TO CURE OR CHANGE US!! thank you for allowing me to vent a little

    Eric fink

  • Fiona

    I know I’m repeating things that have already been said, but I can *so* relate to all of these!

    I have a friend who constantly tells me how supportive she is of me, then turns round and tells me she’s going to ‘make’ me go swimming, and take me shopping to get healthy food I can make from scratch. I can’t walk to the post box without needing to sleep when I get back, and I already eat as well as I can, given that my body is completely intolerant of a lot of foods. But sure – you obviously have 40 years of medical experience behind you and are a complete genius. Thanks for your help(!)

    Lots of people tell me I’m too young to be ill (I’m 19 and have CFS and Fibro…) Gee, thanks. Maybe I’ll stop being ill now. Just let me flick the ‘off’ switch in my brain. Why didn’t I think of that!

  • Ashley

    ‘Wow.. well you LOOK good!’ (um.. thanks?)

    ‘Oh that only effects older women! You probably just have growing pains.’ (thanks, i’ll mention that to my doctor.)

    ‘But you seemed fine yesterday?’ (yes, ironic isn’t it? i’ll speak to my doctor about the irony of my condition.)

  • Hana

    These are from telling people that I am having open heart surgery.

    Be careful (am I operating on myself?)

    Are you sure you want to do this? ( I couldn’t find a better summer vacation)

    Why are you doing this? (15% mortality rate if I don’t, plus an absurd desire not to end up in the ER one day)

    The doctor’s just making money off of you (true, but so is my grocer. Do I stop buying food from him?)

    Less than one week till surgery and I have run out of energy to tell anybody. I think I’m beginning to see why.

  • Blue

    my favorites:

    said by a so called dr… You wouldn’t be sick if you just stopped being gay. (trust me after I was done, his waiting room was empty. it was great fun watching him get a 10 thousand dollar fine from the medical board)

    maybe you should go to church? (what for?? The last minute prayers to try to bluff my way past the pearly gates?? oh and the last time i went to church the priest asked if he could score some of my pain meds… yeah that worked out real well)

    I think we all have arm chair dr’s but there is some great fun watching House and counting how many disease’s mentioned you actually have. My high score was 11!

  • Weeble57

    To Rosewolf:

    What your clueless friend apparently doesn’t know is that mental illness ITSELF is a medical condition of the brain. My “invisible illness” is primarily chronic major depression, for which I have to take TWO antidepressants (between the two, all three of the neurotransmitters involved in depression get covered–most only need help with serotonin, but I found I needed help with dopamine and possibly norepinephrine as well; hence Wellbutrin as a second med), BTW, my illness has its own effects on my emotional and physical energy, so I *TOTALLY* get “the spoon theory”.

    I believe that we are creatures of body-soul-spirit and that there is interaction between those aspects of ourselves (such as psychosomatic illnesses, as well as the benefits of cognitive therapy in certain mental illnesses), but unless and until such a connection is known and a WORKING treatment established, psych meds won’t help with a different kind of illness. Example: I have fibro friends who take antidepressants, but that’s because they also have to contend with medical-grade depression–not as a treatment for their fibro.

  • Rebecca

    “Ooh, you’re looking healthy today!” (I flush when I’m really tired)

  • Angel

    I’m diabetic along with Ehlers Danlos Syndrome, P.O.T.S., dysautonomia ect

    “your blood sugar fluctuates a lot. have you tried not eating?”

    “you need to lose weight” I’m already 7 lbs underweight you ***!

    “its ok, your young. There will be a cure in your lifetime” thats great but what about my life right now? 20 or 30 years is a long time to wait and by then they will be giving it to everyone newly diagnosed

    “oh shots arent that bad” Really, how many do you take every day?

  • RoseWolf

    Or…

    “Have you tried antidepressants? Most illness is all in your head, you know.” Hey – thanks for telling me that my illness is mental, not physical. I might not have known that I was crazy if not for you.

    “You know if you lost weight you would feel better. You can’t tell me that all that extra weight is from medication.” Well… actually, yes I can.

  • suzanne

    my best comeback to a customer who kept saying that I did not look sick (lyme disease) was………. “well, you don’t look like an idiot” I didn’t get a tip but she shut up after that.

  • Janet

    How bout this one? If you’d just go to (naturalist’s name), he’d be able to help you. (person’s name) did (whatever) and she no longer has fibromyalgia. Gee, have you ever heard that if they were cured, they didn’t really have it as there is no cure! Also, (person’s name) said you should check your diet. Gee, no **it but it didn’t help!

  • Susan

    Thank you so much, Jenny, for “You just need to push yourself.” I pushed myself for years (common pastime for undiagnosed/untreated people with hypothyroidism); that’s how I ended up like this! (Fibromyalgia, severe OA, degenerative disk disease, terrible fatigue)

    An RN who was a friend told my husband I just needed to push myself when I got home from 12 days in the hospital after nearly dying. Fortunately, my surgeon and all my nurses told me NOT to push myself when I got home, that just making a cup of tea would exhaust me. Her insensitivity and lack of knowledge of me, her supposed friend, stunned me.

    And, Angie, for “You act so normal.” I’ve been getting “You look fine” for years, including from medical providers who ignored my glaring hypothyroid symptoms and nearly killed me. I’m still getting it from friends. I finally figured out I look normal because I pump so much adrenaline when I’m interacting with people, which is why I crash afterwards. I love “Can’t sleep? try some light exercise before bed.” This would really set me up for a night of misery.

  • Angie

    My favorite is when my friends say I forget you even have that. (Fibro) You act so normal. I want to tell them, but you never see me on a full moon, now, do you? To them, muscle spasms – everyone gets those. Joint pain? probably arthritis. Can’t sleep? try some light exercise before bed. I have just quit mentioning it.

  • Carol

    “Oh, you’re a diabetic. It’s because you eat too much sugar.”

    No, it’s genetic. 3 out of 4 grandparents had it, my dad and sister have it. I was a walking time bomb not a sugar freak.

  • Flowerbelle

    how about this one – “have you seen a doctor?” gee i’ve only been ill 49 years do you think i should?

  • Jenny

    “You just need to push yourself” Yeah and ignore the headache I am going to experience afterwords, the lack of “spoons” I am going to have the next day, and a possible CFS flair up OK!

    My ex doctor told me “You need to work 8 hours a day 5 days a week and you will feel better” How exactly am I supposed to do that? When I can barely handle an hour of church.

    “Quit being so lazy” Before I got sick my nickname was The Energizer Bunny. I had a part time job, was a full time high school student, I was involved in multiple extra curricular activities, and I was in multiple sports including cross country, swimming, track, and color guard. Lazy isn’t a part of my personality.

  • Bill

    Whew.. long way to the bottom here.. but what the heck… toss in my 2 cents…

    “So have they any idea when you’ll be better?”
    Dictionary please! Can you spell incurable?

    “Ohh Jeez! so How long do you have to live?”
    Dictionary again! Non Fatal?? (Though at times nasty as it may seem I almost envy those with the fatal illnesses..)

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