Sick Humor: The top ten worst suggestions commonly given to someone with a chronic illness

 

Sometimes you just gotta have a sense of humor!


The top ten worst suggestions commonly given to someone with a chronic illness:
1)Have you tried holistic options? (many. I’ll bring it back up with my doctor on my next visit, thanks.)
2) Could it be your stress? (My opinion is, it is my illness. I’ll bring it up with my doctor though, thanks.)
3) Could it have to do with the altitude? (I’ll bring it up with my doctor…thanks.)
4) I read in {insert any generic magazine here} about a new medication. Have you heard about it? (I was on it when it came out 17 years ago. but I’ll bring it up with my doctor. thank you.)
5) Have you thought about being in a trial study? (I’ll ask my doctor. thanks?)
6) WOW. If I were you, I don’t know what I would do. I might just kill myself. (Thanks?)
7) Have they found what is causing the problem? (no. my doctor is an idiot. I’ll remind him, thanks!)
8) Have you tried hypnosis? (I’m still sick, but when the phone rings I bark like a dog.)
9) Have you googled your illness? (….no! thanks!)
10 Have you ever thought you were getting sick because you haven’t wrapped your house in aluminum foil because, you know, the aliens have been bugging our houses for the past 30 years and in some cases, making people really sick. I read on…..gee I lost the web site. but it’s true! I heard it from Sally’s cousin’s sister-in- law. And then every time you use deodorant you would think you would be warding off these bugging rays, but it still makes it worse, so you are not being pro-active to your health by wearing that deodorant. I can’t believe you! If you wanted to get better you would stop wearing deodorant..(voice gets fainter and fainter the further you just walk away.) THANKS!!!!!!!!!!
Article written by Amy-Beth Maran , © 2007 butyoudontlooksick.com

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  • Guest

    My Mum says “its probably just a virus.”  (I’ll suggest that to my doctor…)

  • Yep i have Hydrocephalus and NF1 and i have heard if not 6 or 7 of them…

  • Moirasparkles2000

    This is very good and so true. my older son thinks I’m lazy. Bless him!

  • “You’ll feel better after a good rest”

  • turquoiselady55

    According to the Americans With Disabilities Act, shouldn’t both of you be protected? About 7 yerars ago, my fibromyalgia was interfering with arriving on time to my job as a special education teacher.  My principal was kind enough to write a 504 plan (used in education) I would have considered going with the Americans with Disabilities Act to help me.  I don’t know if using the ADA would work.  However, in both of your cases, maybe it’s worth a look. 

  • 1kvyhnalek

    My momjust said “your lazy” or “you just don’t want to wash the dishes”.

  • Kathcom5698

    Well written Jacquie! Good luck and you be well too! A friend in pain! KG

  • Kathcon5698

    AJ, loved your words. So true and I too have few friends and wish everyday for my mom who passed several years ago. Hang on tight to you Mum…..we do care too! Kathy

  • Kathcon5698

    Ginger, I had to write and tell u I had the same mouth/jaw paining my early stages. Finally, after an exhaustive search I found a Doctor who sent me to a specialist in TMJ. After being fitted for a very good mouth guard my pain was better. This after several Painful jaw injections…”OUCH!”. Hope this helps. Also my first rime on site and it’s so nice to hear from others! Hopeful in Scottsdale Az

  • Kathcon5698

    Nell, I hear a girlfriend! I am a 50+ mom of a teenage boy. I am trying to stop worrying about “my time” and concentrate on the day….good, bad or just ok. I get those damn windows that seemed to be sealed with cement…..I, too know the ins and out of my cable tv schedule and have become a movie collector…many of my friends have gone by the wayside after I have booked then cancelled on them time after time. But, my son and my animals keep me smiling. I do the best each day and wait to see what tomorrow brings…..take care and feel free to talk anytime! We are all in this together! Kathy G

  • Staceyaden

    My ALL time favorite (NOT) is “I heard that Fibromyalgia is cured by stretching” Really? “Yes, and i know 3 people who did these stretches with some light, easy exercise and were cured 30yrs ago!” Or “maybe if you’d exercise, it’s go away” OR “maybe your just depressed and need to talk to a psychiatrist” THANKS be right on it after I cry my way out of bed, poor my epson salt in a HOT bath, soak for an hour, eat something, throw it up, etc..aarrrgh

  • Sveta

    One more to add: Is your cane a psychological support? Have you tried to walk without it? (No, I was born with this cane).

  • Herekitty07

    Myo mom FINALLY got it a tad when she saw a show on fibro on Dr. Oz. ” You have to take this….” Yep, either my doc saw the same show or he knew what he was doing.

  • apt3

    Just that they ask me over and over and over, “Now what exactly is wrong with you again?” and, “What caused you to have the pain?” (I’ve given you a detailed explanation more than once, sent you that email with full medical explanations in layman’s terms–with pictures–and you all have access to and know how to use the Internet.  Yeah, that, thanks!)  Geez, this is so accurate.

    My fave has to be my MIL to my husband about her sister (our aunt), who has MS, fibro, RA, cataracts, and a few other things I can’t even pronounce.  She was a labor-and-delivery nurse for 30 years, earned two master’s degrees, and just spent two years working graveyard shifts taking care of their mother who had severe Alzheimer’s and finally died of congestive heart failure.  The sister (my MIL) says to my husband, “If she’s such a great nurse then why does she have all those health problems?”

    Yes, jaw on floor. *Sigh*

  • Susan

    My favorite is that “If you had enough faith you would be healed!” If I didn’t have the faith I have, I would be dead. When they hear that they look so confused! Hang in there everyone!  People don’t mean to be mean, they just don’t stop to think!

  • Em-ma6

    I have M.E. (which in the US is lumped in with CFS, despite the fact that they are entirely separate illnesses).  My favourite line is “Oh, my friend had that. She got better after six months”. Really? Well, I might venture to suggest that she probably didn’t have it in the first place, because last time I checked, neurological disorders of the brain stem and spinal cord were not renowned for suddenly fixing themselves like Abracadabra. ARGH!

  • Tanya

    The sad thing is, They can. I worked for a County Hospital in my area. I worked there 2 and a half years. My Diabetes was growing ever more stronger at that point, other things developed and I missed to many days. It made me feel lower than dirt because my body wouldn’t let me live up to keeping my job. I was able to get on Unemployment for a few months, but the County fought that too… on the simple fact, “I didnt perform my duties”, needless to say that is another story about unemployment, now I have to pay THEM back

  • LWhisenhunt

     I was told by my sister-in-law, yesterday, that my pain medication (I had a spinal fusion, discectomy and a new disc all within the past 8 months) is causing all of my emotional and medical problems.   I F^&%ING HAVE RA and BACK PROBLEMS!!!   

  • OhTheDrama

    My personal favorite is “Honey, have you considered losing some weight?  I’m sure you’ll feel fine once that burden is gone!”  That is the nice version of “Girl, you’re fat and that’s your only problem!”  Oh, sorry…did that sound bit##y?  I’m outa spoons!

  • Prawn37

    Your life is what you make it (no this disease is what makes my life !)

  • Shaztwirl

    Oops, reading this just reminded me I forgot my last 200mg dose of Lyrica.  Thanks 🙂

  • Jill A

    One that I find extremely hurtful is, “You have to WANT to get better”.

  • Nell

    Well, I was searching for some type of on line support for isolation, due to my autoimmune illnesses, fibro, allergies, alopecial…and oh yeah, having to take a disability retirement a little over two years agoe.  I smiled as I read the above post…as I have heard them all too. But on the serious side I think I am begining to feel the loss of being part of the real world, am a 50 something year old single woman who raised 3 kids, and thought after my boys were grown it would be my time.  This is not the time I had in mind. I love the outdoors and outside activities…so here I am inside, and like others know way too much about the TV schedules.  I wish not to be a victim here…but every window I try to open these stupid illnesses seem to want the windows slammed shut.  Friends dewindled as it’s not fun for them to have me cancel on them if I am having a bad day. 
    Looking for positive..words…I think. Thanks for letting me talk.  

  • nina

    I recently was diagnose with fb and the pain is disgusting so when i read all your comments I found it so sad that these days with such technology people aren’t educated enough to know where certain illness come from, I myself must say I have it hard in the mornings and now starting to suffer depression as well gain weight, but the one line i hate to hear at work is wow you look great and then when i can’t move next day I hear maybe your faking it, Ive come to a point at work that my boss said if you miss agian then I have to let you go, since I am new to this I wonder is it legal?

  • Tash W

    Anyone with with these types of illnesses who keeps their chin up and keeps trying are COMPLETE **ROCK STARS**.

    Its hard enough being so very sick and having to struggle with what others find simple, without having idiots (who are operating on medieval beliefs about what illness ‘looks like’) persecute you for being ill on top of it. I think those people are fearful and arrogant. They are a complete waste of precious energy and best avoided.

    On my bad days I lose patience and retort “So… did you button up that shirt all by yourself?”. Pain, arthritis and fatigue makes buttons difficult for me some days. If they don’t get that and still carry on, I add “…because it seems to me that you are clearly too stupid to have gotten dressed all by yourself. I’m just wondering who helps you with the other aspects of your life that you can’t get your head around”.

    Ahem, of course you make a few enemies insulting people like that, so I don’t recommend it… 😉 😛 LOL

  • pj

    How about, how can anyone be THAT sick? or, are you STILL sick, or sick AGAIN??
    or they assume that if you have FM, you can’t also have diabetes, or God forbid, cancer.

    One ex-friend at work made a crack about how maybe he should jump on the medical bandwagon, coz he thought we were getting such great perks. I was like, ok, so you’d LIKE to have a life-altering disease that renders normal work life impossible? It was very eye-opening. Buh bye!

  • Lisa H

    I have recently been diagnosed within the past month with CIDP (Chronic Inflammatory Demyelinating Polyneuopathy). I had never heard of it before and was afraid I had MS since my older sister and her daughter both have MS. When I was going thru testing and “rule outs”, I think my friends thought I had lost my mind. I finally feel like I’ve found it again because I know I’m not crazy and that what I was experiencing was a relapsing and remitting type of autoimmune disorder and so I always blew off my symptoms as stress, depression, etc. etc.

    I sent out a request to close friends for prayers that the IVIg infusion treatment improves my symptoms of falling on my face out of the blue, walking like I’m a drunk, hugging the walls so I don’t lose my balance and others. So many well meaning friends have suggested alternative treatment with vitamins and supplements. I’m sure they may very well help, but insurance doesn’t pay for expensive vitamins and supplements and biofeedback, and other treatments.

    I simply want my body back. It seems to have an agenda all its own these days. I’m thankful this forum exists for those of us who “don’t LOOK sick.”

  • FirstFerret

    I have Multiple Chemical Sensitivity, Chronic Pain, and Migraines (since 2 y.o.) – my favorite “but I don’t smell anything” >.<

    Just get out of my air space…please. Thank you very much. LOL

  • Ginger

    I accidentely stumbled upon this chat site today. I’m a fibro patient of about 10 years now. My head hurts so bad today I feel like its going to explode. If I heard one of those idotic comments today I’d be liable to take their heads off! How can people be so insensitive and stupid with their remarks. I have forgotten what its like to wake up and not feel pain, what I’d give for one day free of pain! In the last 6 months I’ve developed new symptoms. Went to the emergency room with a very tight jaw couldn’t hardly open my mouth, with extreme numbness and swelling on one side. Of course with no insurance the emergency room visit was over $350 and the doctor couldn’t find what was wrong with me. After investigating I find its another symptom of fibromylgia. Where does it end?

  • Janne Butler

    Hilarious, but too painfully true! I’ve gotten to the point that I never even mention my ills anymore to uneducated idiots- and I have a slew of them- MS, RA, Asthma, allergies, IBS, Fibromyalgia, etc., etc., and I almost forgot, PTSD from 22 years with a man who was determined to kill me. At least I now live in a senior and disabled community where I rarely hear these sorts of comments- but when I go out in public, I hear them constantly…

  • AJ

    I read through the article and actually bawled crying at the uncanny similarities to my FMS responses.
    Do you not think if you went for a walk it might help instead of lying down (no cos I wasn’t able to get out of bed this morning)
    Do you really know the tv listings that’s pathetic get a life (I would but being in constant pain,drowsy from the meds and insomnia doesnt make me a candidate for a party girl)
    Taking that many meds is ridiculous your problem is you need therapy (yes the drug run is ridiculous I wish I didn’t need to but I prefer to shower myself and tie my own shoes, whereas you need manners and education for being an ill informed ignorant pig) I have little or no family support apart from my mum, to everyone else I’m just a lazy b*tch feeling sorry for myself. My social limitations have uncovered my true friends.

  • Cherie

    My personal favorite is “are you sure you don’t just need to lose weight?”. I know I am overweight. Many of the slew of medications I have to take cause weight gain and I am so exhausted working full time that exercising is not usually an option.
    Have 4 different auto-immune disorders just wrecks havoc on your being. People and their comments do too. But I have a strong faith and try to divide up my spoons so I don’t run out each day!

  • Jacquie

    I agree 100% with Pamela Young’s comments, especially this one: “…with all the pain medication you take, you should not be in any pain.” This is the one thing that will set me off! I have been on prescription pain medications for over 20 years. And it’s a good thing; otherwise, I might be dead because I would have decided death was the only way to get some relief from this debilitating, life-altering, excruciating PAIN!!! Don’t tell me you don’t want to hurt my feelings, because you not only hurt them, you just stomped all over them! How absolutely asinine can a person be?!? I don’t take these pain meds for the fun of it, that’s for sure. The constipation, the stomach upset, the expense…I would gladly give them all to you along with the pain from a long list of diagnoses, such as: Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome, Type 3 – Hypermobility, Fibromyalgia, degenerative disc disease, osteoarthritis, “nutcracker” esophagus, and 35 surgeries (to date)!

    It’s people like them, whether they are family, friend, or foe, that will soon forget I exist as I won’t put myself in their presence again. I don’t need that stress in my life! I have enough of my own, so KEEP YOURS!!

    I am so thankful for all you “spoonies” out there in cyperspace that understand and stand with me as I stand with you! Take care and I pray for you to have lots of gentle hugs. Be well, friends.

  • Pamela Young

    I used to think I was the only one that got the stupid suggestions. I have a lot of stomach problems with my chronic fatigue, fibromyalgia, endometriosis, RA autoimmune disease.
    I get:
    1. why are you worried you have not eaten for 3 days its a great way yo lose weight, you could lose a few pounds. (no I don’t have any feelings)
    2. I know you say you have not eaten, but all over weight people under estimate their intake. (again no feelings hurt here)
    3. if you get out and walk you can work up a good appetite. (yeah I really want a healthy appetite to eat to be in severe pain and in the bathroom all day)
    4. it’s the medication causing your problems. You should stop putting all those chemicals in your body especially the pain medication. (I love being balled up in pain, its so natural and holistic)
    Those hurt but the two that hurt the worse are:
    1. I look at you and you look so normal are you really sick?
    2. I don’t mean to hurt your feelings but with all the pain medication you take, you should not be in any pain.

  • Alexandra

    You missed the variant on 6 (the more common form, in my experience): “if I was in your position I WOULD kill myself. I wouldn’t want to be a burden on society…”

    You wouldn’t believe the number of friends who tried to make me feel guilty for still being alive…

  • Bud Izen

    People are idiots. My girlfriend has had chronic migraines almost constantly since she was nine. In the couple of years we’ve been together, I cannot believe the (well-meaning?) idiots who give her unsolicited advice. It would be one thing if she ASKED for advice (which she doesn’t), but these people, as soon as they find out what is bothering her, just offer there unsolicited stupid advice without thought one that maybe, just maybe, she might have checked into one, two, or 313 potential remedies over the past 44 years!

    I’m now 63 and she’s 55. I know guys are slow learners. It took me well over 50 years to realize that women don’t automatically need a guy to try to “fix” everything. She totally appreciates that I treat her just like any other person. Some days, most days in fact, there are things that she just flat out cannot do.

    I guess the ironic part of it all is that I too get migraines, although nothing close to her scale, and that she has offered me advice (which I was totally glad to take) regarding which combination of pain meds might work best for my migraines (they do) and which pain med will work best for my lower back pain (also great advice).

    I wish with all my heart there was something I could do for her that could take her pain away, even momentarily, but sometimes the best thing you can do for someone in pain is just to be there for them and keep your damn mouth shut!

  • Nicola Lawrence

    I have M.E and was diagnosed in 2004. I couldn’t work for three Years, but I was lucky enough to build myself back to full time. I’ve recently had to relent and work four days a week now.

    People have bestowed the following gems on me:
    – why don’t you drink some red bull?
    – why don’t you go for a run?
    – you’re not trying hard enough to get better.
    – when I sent an email around to people trying to explain my condition. Someone said they didn’t respond as she thought what I had written made me look more guilty…… Guilty of what for gods sake???
    – my poor friend who has been nearly killed twice by chron’s disease: “you need to put your life first and chron’s disease second.”

    They all deserve a poke in the eye!

  • Tara Roseberry

    I have an old class mate that is trying to push some juice stuff down my throat. Not only is it expensive, but being disabled and on thousands of dollars worth of drugs, I can NOT afford this stuff. PLUS, she says things like “it may not cure you but I promise it will take care of your side affects” I don’t want to hurt her feelings but DAMN I’m just going to have to tell her. Listen if this was such an incredible thing my MANY MANY doctors would have told me to try it! I’m thinking of just using some of the things said above! I’m not usually to rude but damn she is a doctors wife and they have plenty of money for her to stay home and drink whatever for her healthy body, I DON’T!!! Plus, why in the God’s green earth would I drink this NASTY tasting stuff, spend $100+ dollars a month on it and it do nothing for me???? UUUGGGHHH just frustrating!

  • Lisa Has MS

    in response to numb hand/arms limited dexterity in said limbs
    “hmmm. maybe you have nerve damage, have you talked to your doctor about that?”

    WHAT?! I AM SUPPOSED TO HAVE A DOCTOR?!?!?! (forehead smack) WHY DIDN’T I THINK OF THAT?!?!?

    actual response: mouth hung open for an akward amount of time, then I got up and left.

  • Debi Goodman

    My sister is sure if I drop all medicines, eat only organic food, and excercise 2 hours per day, I will be fine. (Or dead, thank you very much) My sister-in-law is sure if I go to the tanning bed three times a week and train for a marathon, I will be better. (I only run if something higher on the food chain than me is chasing me) Luckily, I have one other sister-in-law who understands fibromyalgia and is very sympathetic and helpful!

  • Sherry Carr-Goolsby

    I read something a very smart woman with Fibromyalgia posted on FaceBook a while Back. It won’t be exactly what she said because of Dull-Memory but I’ll try. I started tellin’ folks,”Your IMAGINARY medical license is not nearly as real as my LIFE-ALTERING invisible, ILLNESS. That’s the best I could do so please don’t take offense,if it doesn’t make sense to you. It works for me.If they don’t get it,that’s their problem.

  • MaryAnn

    Amen……….Add to the list: Have you tried Medical Marijuana? I live in Ohio, I do things legally and you complain I’m spacey now from the Fibro Fog. Add Yoga, Tai Chi, Massage & Reiki Therapy. Yep been there done that too. Water Aerobics. ( I imagine that would be great) but I have to get dressed for cold weather, get in my cold car, drive to the rec center take off my clothes get into a bathing suit and enjoy the nice warm water. After that I must blow dry the hair so I don’t catch pneumonia in the cold weather. Holding my arms up to blow dry my hair will cause a flare up, going out in the cold will cause a flare up and by the time I get home I’ll be too worn out to do anything. Perhaps I should sit in my tub and pretend. Yep. I can do that but the phone will ring and it will be someone suggesting I try biofeedback. AAAGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHH.

  • Theresa

    okay how about these:
    1. Have you gone for a walk? some exercise would be really good for you. (I can’t even walk around my apartment, you idiot!)
    2. Have you tried yoga? (yes, but when I do downward dog, I seem to get stuck in that position.
    3. Have you tried skipping red meat? (yes, but it ran back)

    I have given up being sweet, now i make jokes. I have decided people can be idiots.

  • Terri

    Ann C .. my ex of 12 years told his girlfriend that I was lazy .. obviously didn’t have the guts to tell me to my face …. but I guess he didn’t need to. I think he was alien in #I0 😛
    I just keep repeating to myself : Just Keep Smiling, Just Keep Smiling to the tune of Just Keep Swimming that Dory sings in Finding Nemo, when I get any of this rubbish. It works 😀

  • Janet M

    I have CADASIL (Cerebral Autosomal Dominant Arteriopathy with Subcortical Infarcts and Leukiencephalopathy) and I “look” just fine. What is happening inside me, especially my brain, is not. I have heard “But, you look so GOOD!” more times than I can remember…

  • Too funny! Soon to be ex keeps saying I’m lazy, and I don’t contribute because I haven’t gone back to work yet. Think he’s been talking to the alien advocate in #10?

  • Heather

    My mother thinks that I am a hypochndriac and that is why I am always in so much pain (Fibromyalgia, Psoriatic Arthritis and RA). If I don’t think about the pain, it won’t rule my life. I LOVE LIVING WITH MY MOM!

  • Lissa J

    I was told to “think it doesn’t hurt” .. “mind over matter” .. nice huh?

  • Rosie

    Thanks for the giggle. It’s the way i handle the unsolicited nonsense i hear from the ‘well meaning’ ignorant. I have a good laugh about it. 🙂

  • Sarah

    I have Autoimmune Anaphylaxis, Autoimmune Andioedema and Autoimmune Urticaria. It’s a nightmare. I take so many medicines that I lose track. My father told me that I’m “addicted to doctors” and if I just stopped all the meds I would get better.

    If I stopped all my meds I would die you moron!

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