Plants freshen up a home and bring life to even the dreariest sick room. When you can’t get outside much, houseplants can help to bring the outside in to you and lift your spirits. However, Spoonies – indeed most people generally! – should select their houseplants carefully: there is nothing uplifting about dead and dying plants.

As when choosing plants for the garden, the location for houseplants matters in terms of light levels, temperature, and exposure. You also need to decide how many or how few spoons are going to be spent on the plant. And you should consider what kind of effect you want from your plants.
My top five houseplants for low maintenance are:
Cacti, of practically any kind. Unless you drown them, they are very hard to kill.
Sanseveria, common name ‘Mother-in-Law’s Tongue’. Despite it’s inelegant name, I think this succulent is a stunning plant, especially as it gets bigger. It’s upright form means it’s perfect for a tight corner – if you can fit the pot in, widthwise the plant will fit. I’m getting one for the gap between the basin and shower cubicle in my bathroom. Again, this is very hard to kill, even with the occasional over-watering and it’s disease resistant. Just make sure you can’t poke yourself in the eye with it!
Aspidistra. This favourite of Victorian England isn’t the prettiest or most elegant of plants, but it will thrive where no other plant will. It actually likes to be in a cold dark room, so it’s a classic choice for an underheated, underlit downstairs bathroom.
The Hederas or Ivies. Again, very hard to kill and disease resistant. They are also versitile – you can have them trailing over furniture from a pot, dangling from a hanging basket or shelf, or trained up poles, obelisks or faux-topiary structures. Give them just a little encouragement and they will put on a wonderful display.
The Dracaenas. There is a wide range of these plants, from the Dracaena marginata, commonly known as the Madagascar Dragon Tree, to Dracaena fragrans ‘Massangeana’, often called the Corn Plant, but they all have strap-like leaves from multiple stems. They’ll tolerate low light levels and put up with quite a lot of human error without much complaint, although they are more susceptible to infections.
These are all plants that primarily just show foliage – but well done if you’ve got a Sanseveria to flower! Flowering takes a lot of effort from a plant so flowering plants tend to need more care and then they will usually have to be deadheaded too.
My top five plants otherwise:
Spathiphyllum wallisii, the Peace Lily. Although technically it doesn’t produce flowers, the adapted white leaves are beautiful enough. It needs a little care paid to its watering, especially when it’s in “flower”, but although a little neglect may kill off a “flower” or two and cause quite dramatic wilting, it is actually quite quick to recover with some tlc.
Ficus benjamina, the Weeping Fig. The key to dealing with this plant is to remember that it adores routine and sameness and to not take its dramatic leaf-drop if you do upset it too seriously. Keep it out of hot sunlight, water it regularly but not too much and don’t move it and it will thrive and grow and be a beautiful plant with its swaying fine branches and elegant leaves. If it does get the sulks (truly the best description!) and drops leaves, just sweep them up and give it some tlc for a while.
Kentia Palms. There’s nothing like an arching palm for dramatic effect and look after these and they can grown to amazing proportions if you let them. They don’t like the air to be too dry or the leaf tips will scorch, so they’re not the plant for an arid climate or a draughty corrider. And you have to be careful to not overwater them, at least not too often, as the fastest way to kill them is through root rot due to too much water. However, keep that in mind and they are simple plants to look after and will tolerate a wide range of conditions.
The Maidenhair or Boston ferns are beautiful with their finely cut lobed fronds making a soft green mound. Their main problem is a tendency to shed, but if you put their pot on a large plate, it’s not hard to contain the mess.
My final favourite is actually a bulb that’s quite happy outdoors: Hyacinths. These are grown for the deliciously sweet scented and candy coloured spires of flowers. Their natural flowering time is early spring and after that they’re not very pretty as the foliage droops, but forced bulbs are available later in the year, primarily being sold for Christmas flowerings. I like to have a selection of pots planted with Hyacinths at different times outside during the spring and as they come into flower they come inside, going back outside once the flowers have faded.
This time of year is a great time to think about houseplants, especially those you already have. Houseplants follow the seasons too, so now they’ll be about to go into their main growing season. Now is a great time to check them out and find any problems.
Over-watering is the most common mistake people make with houseplants and as it often manifests as limp leaves, it can be easy to think the problem is too little water and make it worse. As a general rule, if you stick your little finger into the compost up to the second knuckle and the compost is damp, the plant doesn’t yet need watering. If it’s dry, it does. When you do water, give the plant a good drink, but come back after about half an hour and if there is water in the dish or pot the plant pot sits in, empty it out. Leaving a plant sitting in water just leads to the roots rotting so try to avoid it. Although, having said that, I do leave them sitting in a little water if I’m going away and no-one can water them.
Watering is a good time to check for pests and diseases as then you’re more likely to do it regularly. Most small pests can just be wiped up with a tissue and disposed off – although plenty of houseplant pesticides are available, they are often not very effective or long-lasting, can damage the plant and are not very nice to be around! If you do have a big pests problem, try to find out what’s causing them to thrive and sort that, rather than battling the pests themselves. For example, Red Spider Mites like it hot and dusty so spraying the plant with water will discourage them and if the plant’s roots are rotting due to too much water then you will get tiny flies in the soil.
Give your houseplants some tlc now to set them up for the season ahead. Repot pot bound plants unless you want to restrict their size. Add compost to the top of pots where needed – a little is always lost when watering. Dust the leaves – I just use a damp cloth. If you can tolerate the fumes when spraying, leaf shine is a great spoon saver. Not only does it make your plants look great, but it also helps prevent the dust from sticking. Liquid feeds are great for houseplants, but make sure you dilute them enough and don’t feed very often as the feeds, even organic ones, can scorch the plant.
© Lindsey Middlemiss 2007 at ButYouDontLookSick.com