I’m not an expert. And one thing I am sure of is that everyone is unique, one’s body reacts to things in her own way, and that there is no predictability of what’s going to happen. Having a 15-month-old son, I think back on the whirlwind of pregnancy, remembering things I wish I had known just so I could prepare and know what I might be up against. I’m sharing these thoughts in hopes that someone out there will be able to make the pregnancy trip just a bit more smoothly. Just to be clear, having my baby is a lifelong dream. I want to have many more as soon as I can! But, for me, knowledge is power and hopefully I can be of some service to those out there who were in the same position as me: desperately wanting children, already having made that choice to build a family, but have no clue what might come with this new transition in life.

Super sensitivity
Back in college, I researched fibromyalgia for a health course, and the one thing I remember from that paper is that it has a nickname of being the “Sensitivity” disease. Under normal circumstances, lights, odors, and tastes—anything can provoke a reaction. Well, consider that times a million! Pregnancy makes a “normal” woman sensitive. Can you imagine what it’s like to one already predisposed to sensitivity? At least for me, that’s how it was. Every sense was heightened to the utmost level.
Everything smells
Following the above, we might as well continue on, but I do believe scents earn their own moment in time here. There’s a reason. EVERYTHING stinks. I’m talking “unscented” soaps, to water, toast and saltine crackers. Who knew that these things had such a potent aroma? And I don’t mean potent in a good way. Be prepared and ready to find alternatives.
Ventilation is key
When I showered, I could not do so in my confined shower stall. Between the steam and the heightened odor of the non-smelly shampoo, soaps, and water, I felt completely caged in and got sick every time. I ended up having to go down the hall, place some heavy layers of towels down beside the tub, and keep the shower curtain open so I could have a little bit of air swirling around me. I needed as much feeling of openness as possible, in order to keep the scents at bay and the steam at a minimum. And to step into my bathroom where my husband had taken a shower already that day? Impossible. Thus, I needed my own non-smell-filled locale.
Find coping techniques for non-pleasurable tasks
Basically any grooming was a problem area for me. The scent of the toothpaste was traumatic. Shampoos and soaps were nightmares. So, I had to find some kind of means of getting these daily tasks accomplished. During showers, besides the open-air technique, I sang to myself. I probably set world record paces at getting in and out, but a few happy tunes helped me get by. Something about the distraction and the air in and out, helped me get through it all. Some of my other friends with no illnesses said that helped them, as well, so I didn’t feel so silly about it all. In your head, do the same for brushing your teeth. As for washing your face, I could NOT handle the up close and personal unscented soaps. So, I purchased unscented facial wipes that I could use in the convenience of my bedroom, apart from any lingering bathroom odors and just throw away at will. It helped me out tremendously. [Just a note: although you might find some dry food to help with the nausea, like cheerios or crackers, eventually you’ll probably have to switch it up. And as well, if you do have high levels of nausea, remember “Bubbles and sugar.” This one was hard for me because I only like water. But water made me get sick. So to take the anti-nausea medicine or just to stay somewhat hydrated I had to find some form of carbonated alternative. Keep trying until you find something suitable.]
Cooking odors might be problematic
Have you noticed a theme? I hate to be redundant, but this is what my life revolved around. Each basic task essentially came down to how did it smell? I couldn’t really eat very much during my pregnancy. One might be tempted to think that’s a good thing, but I’ll get to that in a moment. Any food cooked in the house was off limits to me and made me sick, even being upstairs a good distance away from the kitchen. My poor husband! So, unfortunately we had to have fast food brought home or go out to eat quite a bit more than usual. I didn’t get sick as much if I ate the smelly foods out in a restaurant. That doesn’t mean I could choose to eat in an aroma-filled restaurant, because that would be simply asking for trouble. Odors still mattered. But in a seemingly bland type of food restaurant, I could handle eating the food way better than at home.
Your body is not your own
I’m sure everyone has heard that about pregnancy, but I have a different meaning. Your body is going to do what your body is going to do and don’t let anyone make you feel badly about it. I honestly didn’t eat very much at all during my pregnancy. But I still put on plenty of weight. I had no clue how I could throw up for 5.5 months straight, not eat a thing, and gain 15 pounds. And then the rest of the pregnancy, I was fortunate enough to just throw up a few times a week and ate only tiny tidbits and gained the rest. I was not in control of what was happening and even though I heard people giving me plentiful advice about how much weight gain was appropriate during pregnancy, I had to do my best to turn a blind ear because I was not in charge!
Sleep is wonderful
I had lots of headaches, dizziness, and nausea during my entire pregnancy. So, when sleep came, I took it. And believe me, your body needs all of the rest you can possibly manufacture because when the baby arrives, you will need endurance. Speaking of sleep, I encourage you to get a body pillow. I didn’t, but if I am blessed with another child, I certainly will. Something to hug and rebalance will mean a world for helping your back feel a little more at ease. And definitely keep extra pillows around to prop up your legs and in between your knees.
Have you heard the fibromyalgia and pregnancy remission theory?
If so, don’t put all of your eggs into that basket. You might be fortunate and I pray that you are! Obviously, some women do feel a little better during pregnancy, so you just might be that lucky one. But, I certainly didn’t experience pain reduction of any form, so although it could seem disappointing, think about it this way: it’s no different than BEFORE you got pregnant except NOW you are getting to bring that beloved life into your world. It’s okay! It would have just been a bonus.
Find an OBGYN who understands fibromyalgia
Now this may seem like a no-brainer, but it’s not as easy as it sounds. I’m personally not a question-asker kind of gal. I reduce stress levels by not focusing on things beyond my control and doctors seem to be in that genre. I ask pertinent questions but I don’t go overboard. So, when I asked several times throughout my pregnancy how fibromyalgia might be affecting my symptoms or what I needed to do to help the delivery process go easier since I had it, and my doctors told me it would be fine and gave me no concrete answers, even I knew I was in for some trouble. I had many moments of wanting to switch practices and I really should have. However, I am also loyal and hate change. All of these characteristics, plus my dogged determination led me to making a poor choice of sticking with doctors who didn’t really get it. One of the doctors in the practice, who actually ended up delivering my son, was even phenomenally nice. I asked a friend of mine who is now a Physician’s Assistant and had just recently completed a OBGYN rotation before getting her degree about a few problems I was having relating to these issues and she basically told me that OBGYNs had so many patients and didn’t care about the problem if it wasn’t affecting the health of the baby or causing risk to the mother. It didn’t comfort me, but I don’t have much faith in doctors so I set it aside in the “another thing I don’t like about doctors” category. But, I just don’t think that’s the truth. So, my advice? Think about troubles you might have along with your pregnancy (super sensitivities, medicines, muscle issues, dizziness, nausea, headaches, fatigue, etc) and ask your OBGYN what they suggest in light of your fibromyalgia. You know how magazines and online references recommend interviewing OBGYNs before you settle on one? Please do so. Find someone who might not have all of the answers but is willing to listen and offer compassion and perhaps a few suggestions. Most of all, find someone who recognizes fibromyalgia has a major influence in your life and how your body reacts.
This is just the beginning
Yes, yes, the pregnancy is the road that brings you to your wonderful baby! It is so exciting and wonderful and amazing: all of those fantastic things. BUT, the practical side is, that delivery might be complicated and post-delivery might be even more so. The trauma from the pushing caused an extreme form of pelvic pain for me that I am still enduring and fighting. I have undergone many postpartum doctor visits in search of answers to the pain from the delivery. Not to go into details, but basically where the baby comes out, between the scarring and the nervous system, there are a lot of issues. And apparently pelvic pain is one of those associations with fibromyalgia that just isn’t talked about much, but definitely exists. Preventive strategies? Ask your doctor for some exercises. They might suggest a physical therapist if you have trouble even before the delivery (like me). Or, I have been told to look into using a doula or midwife for the next go round, so maybe you can head off such serious issues by using one on your first try.
All of this might seem complicated, but it is something you definitely want to look into, think about, and question as you prepare for your wonderful arrival. Thankfully, not everyone will have these issues. I’m usually in that “.08% chance of it happening” category. But, since I am, I know others out there could be, too. Information is power! Being prepared and just knowing what could happen at least offers you the advantage of not having the sneak attack arise throughout your pregnancy road. I know I didn’t cover it all, so if you have other suggestions or ideas to think about, please share! We’re all in this together. And anything that allows a new mom to focus on the joys of her child rather than the discomforts that came along with it, is truly a blessing.
Article written by Carrie Burns, © 2008 butyoudontlooksick.com